The Ups & Downs of Relationships

Relationships are like roller coasters.  Many of us thrill seekers enjoy the first steps in a relationship, the inching up the scary slope, anxiously awaiting the unknown of what is to come.  We get butterflies in our stomachs from all the excitement.  It is a true adrenaline rush.

Once the coaster hits its highest peak and plummets down again, maneuvering around the twists and turns, it comes to a stop.  Once the thrill is over, it stops, much like many relationships.  Therein lies part of the problem.

We all need things to get excited about and look forward to.  Most everyone enjoys the thrill and anticipation of experiencing something new and not always knowing what to expect.  However, you can ride the same coaster over and over again, know where every dip and turn is and still enjoy the ride.  Part of it is the attitude you approach it with, like a kid waiting to experience the excitement of a lifetime.  If we all treated every kiss or date like it was our first (or as if it could be our last), we might not ever lose that excitement

A good relationship is better than any roller coaster.  Though there is excitement in the unknown, there is comfort in familiarity.  Knowing each other’s idiosyncrasies, what makes each other tick, can make it easier to be responsive to the other person’s needs and desires.  Knowing where each person will bend and sway and how to react to that is like a special dance two people in a comfortable relationship can play.  Sometimes with someone new, there may be awkwardness because of unfamiliarity.  With someone you are at ease with, everything can ebb and flow like the wind blowing through the night sky or the waves rolling upon the shore line. Contentment can be like that heavy sigh we let out when we are comfortable and at peace.  In the end, those sighs can be more fulfilling than the shrill of an excited scream.

The same can be said of intimacy.  Personally, I think too many people rush into this, then get to the end of the roller coaster and stop.  Especially in new relationships, many people never come back to ride the same ride again because they think the thrill is gone.  Had they taken the time, they might realize that half the thrill is in the build-up.   I think it’s better to take your time, let the anticipation build with the thrill of excitement by imagining all that is to come.  Spending time truly getting to know your partner on a deeper level can make everything more rewarding.

Intimacy involves more than just sex or it should and there is a lot to be gained from enjoying the many little nuances of intimacy along the way.  Much like the roller coaster, much of the anticipation comes from inching up that slope.  In reality and in many relationships, that slope comes all too quickly, so better to pace yourself and enjoy the ride.  You may find that you really enjoy each small step so much that rather than moving on to the next quick thrill, you want to come back and do it all over again.

May each of us treat every occasion, encounter and adventure as if it were our first (or as if it could be our last), because we never know what the future holds and we should treasure every moment and enjoy the ride every step of the way.