“Paige's 10 Tips to Make You Irresistibly Approachable to Men! ”
 

1. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.

First things first...you can't attract a man if he can't find
you, so you've got to pry yourself away from those "Friends"
reruns and get out into the world. I know that it can be
scary and sometimes it seems much easier to stay in your
protected little bubble, but the reward you stand to gain is
definitely worth taking the risk. So put your shoes on and
let's go!

2. STEP OUT IN STYLE.

If you really want to attract men, you might need to step up
your style a notch... and NOT for the reason you may think. I
recommend wearing a colorful and flattering outfit not just
because you'll turn heads (though you WILL), but because of
the way it will make YOU feel.

Here's an illustration: When I get up at the crack of dawn to
walk my dog, I usually roll out of bed into a sweat suit,
throw my hair into a ponytail, and hide behind my biggest,
darkest sunglasses. I KNOW I look like crap, so I pray that
I don't run into any neighbors who want to strike up a
conversation or pet my dog. And usually, no one even looks
my way. When you put less than your best effort into your
appearance, not only will you blend into the background, but
you probably won't feel up to meeting someone new anyway.

When you look your best, however, it changes your whole
demeanor. You know the phrase "take PRIDE in your appearance?"
Well, when you're proud of how you look, your posture will
straighten up, you'll feel more confident, you'll be much more
likely to make eye contact, smile, and possibly even strike up
a conversation with someone new. That energy (fueled by self-
esteem) will be incredibly ATTRACTIVE to others.

3. WALK THE WALK.

Have you ever seen the way New Yorkers walk? They stride very
quickly, head down, eyes on the ground (or anywhere that will
prevent them from making eye contact of any kind), and plow
through anyone and anything in their way to get to their
destination as quickly and directly as possible.

Now I don't mean to pick on New Yorkers (I WAS one for
years!). In fact, there's a REASON why most Manhattanites
seem to walk the same way. With overwhelming crowds, crime,
people begging for money, and solicitors trying to sell them
something on every street corner, they don't want to ATTRACT
any attention.

However, if you're in a safe, well-lit area and are familiar
with your surroundings, I want to encourage you to remember the
words "Don't walk like a New Yorker." Try walking this way
instead: shoulders back, head up, straight posture, moderate
(not fast!) pace, arms swinging slightly. You want your walk to
say "I'm confident" and "I'm open to possibilities."

If you're finding it difficult to cultivate a confident walk,
try this exercise. (It might sound a little goofy but believe
me, it works!):

Pick a song with an upbeat theme and a good, moderate beat. This
is going to be your theme song. (Can't think of one? Here are 3
suggestions: "Put Your Records On" by Corinne Bailey Rae,
"Suddenly I See" by KT Tunstall, or "The Sweet Escape" by Gwen
Stefani.) Load the song on your iPod or pop the CD in your
walkman and take it with you for a "practice walk." Walk to the
beat (this is subtle- you're not DANCING, you're just getting a
good pace to your steps), breathe, enjoy the lyrics, think
positive thoughts, and smile. You'll be amazed at how walking
to your theme song will give you a boost.

Now the next time you're out and about, I want you to remember
how you felt with your theme song. Hear the song in your head
and walk as if it's playing. Pay attention to how your face
feels. Are you scowling without even meaning to? If so, soften
the muscles in your face and allow your mouth to curl up ever
so slightly into an almost-smile. Widen your eyes just a bit so
that you appear awake, interested in your surroundings, and
excited about the world around you.

Now notice how people who pass you begin to take notice of you.
It's subtle, but I guarantee that those who aren't completely
lost in their own little worlds will acknowledge you in some
way. Men might even smile back or say hello! (If this doesn't
happen right away, don't be discouraged. Just practice this
confident walk wherever you go from now on, and you will soon
notice a difference.)

4. BE A BILLBOARD FOR HAPPINESS.

When you're excited about life, it shows... AND it rubs off on
others. People gravitate toward happy people because they want
the contentment that they have. So wipe that scowl off your
face, curb the cynicism, and radiate the most positive energy
you can muster. (If you're finding this difficult to do, start
the day by making a gratitude list of 5 things you're thankful
for - it can be your health, your charmingly crooked smile, or
even your dog's unconditional love. This will definitely change
your outlook.)

Men are much more likely to approach a woman who is smiling,
laughing, and happily engaged with her surroundings (rather
than the frowning, hunched over lady muttering complaints under
her breath... who'd want to spend time with HER?). Like the
"Got Milk?" ad campaign, try being a walking billboard for
"Got Joy?"

5. BE CONSCIOUS OF BODY LANGUAGE.

I read a surprising statistic the other day: only 7% of
communication is verbal (that means 93% is nonverbal
body language).

In other words, your actions (very literally) speak
louder than your words.

If a man spots you across the room but you have your
arms folded across your chest, that sends the subconscious
signal "Stay away. I'm closed off."

Conversely, if your posture is good and your shoulders are
back, opening up your frame, it sends the message that
your heart is open to possibilities (even if he's not
consciously aware of it).

When you're engaged in conversation, leaning in toward
him conveys interest (that's when being in a loud, crowded
bar can work to your advantage! It gives you a legitimate
reason to lean in and speak in one another's ear, which
creates a connection).

If you're seated, crossing your legs and pointing them
toward him also sends the unspoken message that you're
interested. Very literally, it is the act of aligning your
body with his that signals, "we're in line with one another."

6. GET HIS ATTENTION WITH A PROP.

When a man wants to meet you, he'll look for any reason under
the sun to strike up a conversation. By now, most guys have
gotten the memo that women hate cheesy pick up lines
("Can I borrow a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I
fell in love..." BLECH!!!) and they're left wondering how to
break the ice.

Let's help them out!

Any kind of prop - your dog, a t-shirt with a funny slogan on
it, your tennis racket slung over your shoulder, a sweatshirt
with your alma mater's logo, a funky piece of jewelry, a book
with an intriguing title on the cover - these are all things
that a man might feel compelled to make a comment on or
approach you about.

Perfect example: My friend Amy has the most fabulous pants.
She calls them her "chicken wire pants." She found them at a
vintage store - they're bright orange and they have the pattern
of - you guessed it - chicken wire stamped all over them. (Trust
me, words don't do them justice.) One day she was strolling down
the street (in New York City of all places!) when she heard a
man's voice say, "Excuse me..."

When she turned around, Amy was surprised to see a handsome guy
standing there. "I'm sorry to bother you but I just HAD to tell
you how great those pants are!!!"

Amy, of course, was flattered and they struck up a conversation.
The hot guy asked for her number and took her out to dinner!
(She changed her pants for the occasion.)

Now, the chicken wire pants aren't for everyone (Amy is a brave
girl who can pull ANYTHING off with her spunky attitude and
radiant smile), but you get the picture. If you can give a man
just a little something more than "Uh....hello" that he can
grasp onto and make small talk with, you've instantly become
more approachable.

For another approach...

7. SPARK UP SPONTANEOUS CONVERSATION.

Sometimes, a man might be too shy, too preoccupied, or too
oblivious to his surroundings to initiate a conversation with
you. That doesn't mean that you have to let the opportunity
pass you by.

In my eBook "Dating Without Drama" I stress the importance
of letting the man make the first move, but by that I mean
asking for your number or setting up a date.

Just saying a friendly "hello" to someone does NOT constitute
making the first move in my book (as long as it's confident and
without an air of desperate expectation, that is!).

Let's say you you were at Starbucks and you were standing in
the pickup area when the barista called out "MOCHA-CHOCA-LATTE
for Erica!"

You knew that your dream man had also ordered a Mocha-Choca
Latte. This was the perfect opportunity to acknowledge your
shared love of the same beverage as a possible way to break the
ice and spark up a conversation.

What if, instead of dashing out the door, you grabbed your
drink, tipped it toward your dream man in as if you were
toasting "cheers!" and said a funny, innocuous little thing
like, "Breakfast of Champions!"

Maybe he would have simply smiled. But maybe - just maybe - he
would have said, "You're telling ME. I can't even function
until I've had two of those..." Bonding over your caffeine
habit might lead to introducing yourselves by name, even
exchanging business cards or making a date.

You never know...just by being the one to go out on a limb and
initiate conversation, you could be opening the door to a
special connection with a new man!

8. MAKE HIM FEEL IMPORTANT.

I'm sure it comes as no surprise to you that men love to feel
important, useful, and that their opinion is valuable. (Who
doesn't, really?)

That's why one of the easiest ways to make yourself
approachable to a man is to ask for help.

For example, try one of these ice breakers on the next guy that
catches your eye:

"Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to Smith Street?"

"My friends and I are looking for a good happy hour around this
neighborhood. Can you recommend a place?"

"What are you drinking? That looks good...Should I order one?"

"Do you have a pen I can borrow?" (This can really get the ball
rolling if he wants to ask for your number!)

Of course you should be sincere and genuinely have a need for
his help, or it could come off like one of the dreaded cheesy
lines we talked about in #6!

9. A LITTLE FLATTERY WILL GET YOU EVERYWHERE.

One of the most basic needs we all have as human beings is to
be accepted. Which is why someone giving us a little compliment
("Wow...that shirt really brings out your eyes") can make our
whole day.

Often, when men get up the courage to approach us, they'll
start out with small talk and wait for some kind of signal
that we're interested before they take the risk to ask us out.
A small, genuine, well-placed compliment could be just the
green light he's looking for.

If you're not sure what constitutes a flattering compliment,
consider what you would like to hear yourself. Obviously,
catcalling "nice butt!" isn't going to help your case, but
commenting on the book he's reading with a playful, "I can
see you've got great taste...that's my favorite book" just
might.

(Hint: stay away from gushing about his car or his impressive
job... he may jump to the (wrong) conclusion that you're only
interested in him for his money.)

10. LOOSEN UP AND LAUGH.

Everyone is nervous and a little unsure of themselves when they
meet someone new. And when you're nervous, you're probably not
going to come off as completely polished and pulled together as
you'd like.

Guess what? This is a GOOD thing. (Just think of when the shoe
is on the other foot and a really slick guy is hitting on you...
you get the sense that he's used every one of these lines before
and you're NOT impressed! In fact, you're a little icked-out.)

Believe it or not, one of the quickest ways to endear yourself
to the opposite sex is by letting him catch a glimpse of your
vulnerability or humanity. This lets him know that it's ok to
let his guard down a little bit. Now I don't mean that you
should burst into tears or wear your heart on your sleeve... I
just mean that if you fumble your words a little or
accidentally take a sip from his drink instead of yours, go
ahead and have a laugh. He'll think it's totally cute, not
clumsy.

Take a cue from one of the most endearing moments in awards
ceremony history: Jennifer Garner (an actress who's known for
her highly physical role in the now-defunct hit show 'Alias')
walked up to the podium to present an Oscar, tripped on her
gown, and fell on her face. She jumped up, brushed herself off,
and without missing a beat said, "I do my own stunts." It was
adorable and it got a huge laugh.

(If only I had thought of that line when I wiped out down a
flight of stairs on my second date with my husband. OOOPS!)

  
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