"Hey Paige!
 
Well well well... Never in my life did I believe that someone
else's advice would rescue me!! See, I'VE always been the advice
giver. My girlfriends call me at all times of the day and morning
asking how to handle things... but lately I've been letting
everything in my own life build up on my shoulders and drag me down.
 
I've been with my boyfriend for a year. At first it was CRAP! He's
petrified of commitment and is guided by the opinions of his mates.
And for 3 months I put up with being tossed back and fore...I was
pretty much just for his convenience. When I look back on it now,
I must have looked so desperate staying around. But I told him I
was done. And he came running back. Now I did consider getting back
together with him, so I tested him (unbeknownst to him) -- decided
I'd give it a week or so and see how he was treating me after that.
But one thing had changed: I wasn't scared to say goodbye anymore.
 
That was about 11 months ago, and things have been awesome... Up
until about 4 weeks ago when I noticed a change. He became distant,
withdrawn, and I felt rejected almost. I'd been reading
"Dating Without Drama" for a while and I decided to change the way
I normally would have dealt with things. He told me he needed time
to think about what he wanted. And I simply replied "okay, but I'm
not going to just sit and wait for someone to think about whether
I'm good enough," and I hung up. I had exams at the moment, so I
didn't really find the time to think about it, and didn't have the
time to check my phone every 20 minutes either, but the next day,
I got this message:
 
"Jess, I've been thinking that I want to be single, so I can do
what I want when I want and not have to explain myself. But I
thought wrong. I'll be truthful with you, I love you. But it
PETRIFIES me! Things are going to change with us for the better,
because I don't ever want to lose you."
 
I replied to him saying, "we need to talk face to face because a
text message will solve nothing..."
 
This is when I took another piece of your advice. When I spoke to
him, I said things like "I FEEL like this," etc. I didn't say "you"
and therefore imply I'm accusing him of something.
 
Anyway, we sat and spoke for about 3 hours about everything and I
just told him that love is a scary thing -  and not just for him -
but that it's his own life and he has to make his own choices and
that I wanted more than anything to continue our relationship
together, but I wasn't going to stay if every month or so he got
freaked out. And I said that I'd just give him time to think.
 
That night I went out with some girlfriends for diner and left my
phone at home. When I got back I had 6 missed calls and a message
saying, "Jess, I'm going to treat you right. I realise what I want
in my life and it's you..."
 
I would just like to say thanks to you Paige, as i'm a very
impatient person and believe I would have driven myself insane
waiting about. But I took your advice to heart and just did my own
thing and gave him the time to see what he needed too...
 
Things have been so great between us lately. He's become so much
more affectionate... and just a better boyfriend.
 
Thank you Paige.