Q. If the man doesn’t even talk about the status of your relationship in a year, it means he just isn’t that into you right?
1. The Psychology behind it:
– Usually it means he’s comfortable with being single and doesn’t want to close off his options at this stage. Maybe he has other women and doesn’t want to get in trouble for seeing them, maybe he thinks he’s in the wrong stage in his life, or maybe he just has negative associations with relationships.
– Key questions to ask: Does he get jealous about the idea of you exercising your choices at this stage? If he doesn’t then be wary, it often means he’s enjoying this for what it is but has no intention of taking it anywhere. Guys will have a protective instinct over people they see themselves with later on.
– If you haven’t ever brought up the conversation either then he may feel he doesn’t need to, and is happy coasting along.
– Men will not feel the need to commit to something if you give them the impression that even though you are not having the relationship conversation, you are not going anywhere and have no interest in being with anyone else. Then he truly has it both ways: He’s not having to imagine you with anyone else but he also isn’t committing to anything.
2. What to do about it:
A. GOOD NEWS! Even if so far he has not considered this to be a relationship, and hasn’t put you in that category, that can change if you’re behaviour changes.
B. one way to deal with it is to be upfront about the fact that you are not sleeping with anyone else, and ask him if he is.
C. Ask him what he thinks the two of you are, not because you want to put pressure on him, but because it’s important to the types of decisions you make i.e. whether you go out with other people, etc. If he says he doesn’t see it as a relationship, feel free to flirt with other people, even go out with other people. I know it may sound a bit out of the blue, but he needs to see that it goes both ways.
Quick Love Life Happiness tip:
I hope you enjoyed the first week! We’ll be back next week with another answer to your biggest questions! Please leave a comment underneath to let us know how this week’s answer affected/relates to you!
Your coach and friend
Matthew Hussey x
Have a burning dating question for Matthew? Click here to ask him.