Is there a type of guy who you are usually attracted to? A kind of man who has some sort of magnetic pull, drawing you in over and over? The real question is, “Do your relationships with this type of guy work out?”
In an article from Cosmo (online), Andrea Syrtash, author of He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s a Good Thing), says many women gravitate towards men with similar attributes. It could be muscular guys, tall blondes, successful entrepreneurs, or charming men. If you answered “Yes” to the questions above, you have a dating pattern that probably needs to be addressed.
One reason is that your “type” of man not only has qualities you dream of, he also has characteristics that drive you crazy and cause things to not work out. Truth is, it’s a package deal with these men. Whatever your type is, that man has the flaws that keep you from getting along or being in a healthy, lasting relationship.
Syrtash says that women tend to assign qualities based on very little information such as where he lives, his type of job, his charming behavior, etc. Even if your assessment is accurate, does that automatically mean you’ll be compatible? Nope, not from my perspective or hers either.
How you can tell if your type is wrong for you? Well, if you always go for the same type of guy, and the relationships don’t last, bingo! Here’s another indicator – if you wonder why you are still single, this might be your answer. Your type sure isn’t GOOD for you. Andrea points out that if you enter into one of these relationships, expecting different results, even though you’ve been burned before, that’s the big tip off that you are on the wrong track. I agree.
The good news is that you can break this pattern. Start by being really honest with yourself and admitting that you can relate to this post. Patterns are normal and many fall into them. However, once you recognize it, do something to shake things up!
Andrea and I agree about the solution too. Decide to be open to men who are outside your norm and be willing to consider other types of men.
I call this the “Ball Park Theory of Dating” which is a powerful metaphor. I have found women only want to date the few guys who are running the bases on the baseball diamond. But the ball park is so much bigger than that! There are men in the outfield, infield, dugout, plus men in the stands and box seats too! Why narrow your focus to just a few guys on the baseball diamond when you have the entire ball park to choose from?
Considering other types of men gives you a far better chance of finding a man who is a good match. A guy who you’ll be more compatible with than the ones you already know don’t work.
Chemistry and physical attraction are not guarantees for long-term relationship success. Ditching your dating type is the one sure way to meet more men and improve your opportunities to connect with the right man for you.
When one of my dating after 40 coaching clients calls me and says, “I’m dating a man who is totally different than I usually date”, I get very excited. Time after time, she’s found a man who will win her over in a new way, as he reveals himself to be the man she’s been seeking all along.
