3 of Your Most Dire Dating Dilemmas - Solved!

Hey Girlfriend,

I'm inviting you to take a little peek inside my in-box...

That's because today's newsletter features not just one
"Drama of the Week" but THREE - count 'em - THREE of some
of the most popular questions I get asked by readers!

If you're ready to learn:

How to handle the sticky situation when your man
is friendly with his Ex...

When you should call a guy (and how to respond when
HE doesn't call YOU in a timely fashion!)...

And what to do when your boyfriend wants to "take a break"...

Then read on for today's very juicy DISH!

* * * * * * DRAMA OF THE WEEK #1:
"My Boyfriend Still Talks To His Ex!" * * * * * *

"Dear Paige,

I am not sure about my boyfriend. He keeps talking to his
ex-girlfriend and I think that they are getting closer
every day.

What can I do about this?

I don't want him to cheat on me but it seems like this girl
will do anything to get him back. Please give me some advice.

Love,
Jacqui"

* * * PAIGE'S DATING DISH TIP #1: "When You Make Your
EXPECTATIONS Clear, He'll Make His CHOICE Clear" * * *

My Response:

"Hey Jacqui,

Ok, I'm not gonna sugar-coat this. The whole ex-girlfriend
thing can be tricky.

I personally don't think it's appropriate for your boyfriend
to be talking to an ex, but then again, I don't really know
the whole story.

The truth is, we never have control over anyone else's actions
but our own, so the best that you can do is decide for yourself
what boundaries you are comfortable with and let your boyfriend
know what they are.

For instance, you may decide that you don't want him to be
talking to her on the phone, emailing/instant messaging, etc,
but that you're okay with the idea of the two of you going
out in a group if she's there (if she's part of your circle
of friends, that is).

But you should let him know that in order to be in a healthy
relationship with you, these are your expectations.

Now here comes the tough part... Whether or not your boyfriend
will agree to the boundaries you've set is up to him. He may
even get angry and say, 'you can't tell me what to do - I can
talk to whoever I want.'

Remind him that you DO trust him and that you're not trying
to control him, but that your relationship doesn't have enough
room for a third party, and him talking to his ex is only
inviting trouble.

If he still doesn't see the light, I suggest that you end it
and find a guy who will give you 100% of his attention!

Good luck!
Paige"

* * * * * * DRAMA OF THE WEEK #2:
"Help Me Play By The REAL Calling Rules!" * * * * *

"Hey Paige!

A couple of quick questions for you...

1.) I know that I shouldn't call a guy when we first start
seeing each other, but how will I know when the time comes
when it's OK for me to call him? What if he says
something like "give me a call on Monday" should I do it
or wait for him to call??

2.) What if 7 days passes and he never calls and I
dismiss him, and then he does call... how do I let him know
that it's too late without being a b!#@h??

Thanks
Hannah"

* * * PAIGE'S DATING DISH TIP #2: When it
Comes to Phone Calls, YOU Call the Shots" * * *

My Response:

"Hi Hannah,

Ah, to call or not to call... that is the question!

Here are my thoughts:

1.) Each relationship is different and has its own unique
timing. The 'don't call him' rule I discuss in my book
is really in place when you're just beginning to date a new
guy to ensure that you're not the one taking on the role
of the pursuer by making all the effort. (A major turn-off
for the guy, as I explain in Chapter 6 of my eBook 'Dating
Without Drama!')

But I certainly think it's fine for you to call him when he
specifically asks you to call on a certain day. (MUCH
different than if he'd said after a first date, 'That was fun.
Call me sometime,' which could be guy code for, 'I'm not
interested, but I'm too chicken to come right out and say it.')

Once you've been dating for a few weeks, with him calling you
to ask you out (and you simply returning phone calls but not
initiating them), it should be perfectly acceptable for you to
call him.

Personally, when I was on the dating scene, that point would
usually come for me when the guy and I got into a dating
rhythm... when it was pretty much assumed that we had a
standing date every Saturday night.

(FYI: Saturday nights are PRIME dating real estate, and if he
reserves his for you, that's a clear sign that he's really
into you! Which means that he'd be thrilled to hear from you
if you called.)

2.) In 'Dating Without Drama,' I recommend giving a guy a
5 - 7 day window after a date to call you. If he doesn't call
you after a week has passed, I say ditch the dude. You are
a hot commodity and he should be anxious to get another date
with you on his calendar. If he's slacking off already, in
my opinion, this is not someone worth pursuing a relationship
with.

HOWEVER, you're asking me what you should do if the 7 day
window passes and THEN he calls... a bit of a borderline
situation.

My answer: it kind of depends if you want to try to work
things out with this guy or not.

If you've TRULY dismissed him, as in, "I'm SO over him.
Next!", then I don't think you even need to let him know it's
too late. If he didn't give you a good explanation why it took
him 7 whole days to get off his lazy butt and call you, then he
doesn't deserve for you to waste your breath on an explanation
as to why that's not acceptable to you. He screwed up and he
should know it. I would just say, 'Oh hi. Thanks for calling
but I don't really have time to chat. Life is really busy for
me right now. Take care!'

That doesn't leave a window open for him to think that you'll
be talking again, and should send the message that he blew it
without having to get into details.

BUT... if you think this guy COULD have potential if he'd only
learn some manners, then I'd try this last-ditch effort: When
he calls and asks you out on a date, be straightforward. Not
emotional or accusatory, but honest.

Try saying something like, 'Wow, [insert slacker guy's name
here] , I've gotta be honest. When you didn't call for a
week I kind of assumed we weren't going to be hanging out
again, and I've booked my calendar up with other stuff.
So no, I can't make it to dinner on Friday, but if you
want to try this again, give me a call next week."

This sends the clear message that you haven't been waiting
around for his call, your life is busy and full, and if he
REALLY wants to see you again, he's gonna have to get his act
together and WORK FOR IT!

Remember, you deserve someone who's going to put forth some
real effort!

Since 'The Calling Game' is so confounding, I devote an
entire chapter to it (yes - I cover email too!)
in my eBook "Dating Without Drama" (Chapter 6 'Post-Date
Drama: Waiting for the Phone to Ring').

If you haven't downloaded your copy yet, you can get it
instantly here:
http://www.datingwithoutdrama.com/datingdish/archive/download/

Check it out and me know how everything works out for you,
Hannah!"

* * * * * * DRAMA OF THE WEEK #3:
"My Boyfriend Wants to Take a 'Break!'" * * * * * *

"Hi Paige,

Just wondering if you can help me with something...

I starting seeing someone a couple of months ago and it all
started off really well.

Just recently he has become sick and tired but is still going
to work and now wants a 'few weeks break' so he can get better.
He said not to read into it the wrong way and that he will
still stay in contact but he only seems to ring once a week
and he is generally not very happy.

Is he stringing me along and too chicken to break up with me
or do you think I should wait patiently?

Thanks,
Lacey"

* * * * * * PAIGE'S DATING DISH TIP #3:
"Take a Break Without Breaking Down,
Then Decide if You Want to Break UP" * * * * * *

"Hi Lacey,

As difficult as it may be, I recommend giving him the time
that he asks for as cheerfully as possible. That way, if he
actually DOES need the break to assess how he's feeling about
your relationship, he won't sense added pressure from you.

Now I'm not saying that YOUR feelings don't count in the
matter - they do (and of course I'M rooting for YOU in this
situation) - but the truth is that putting pressure on him or
trying to force him to talk things through when he's not ready
is only going to work against you, whether he needs this break
for the reasons he says he does or otherwise.

The important thing is for you to take the next few weeks and
use them to YOUR advantage as well (really thinking about what
you want and need out of this relationship, spending fun time
with your girlfriends & family, etc) then it won't be wasted
time.

Of course I wouldn't let this go on FOREVER...

If he's still being strange and elusive in a couple of weeks,
you absolutely have the right to confront him and ask him for
honesty. He owes you that.

And at that point, you probably won't WANT a boyfriend who
rarely hear from or see (and when you do is 'generally not
very happy'), so YOU might be the one who wants a break...
Permanently.

I hope this helps.

Hang in there, Lacey!"

* * * * * * * * * * * *

If you've got dating questions, I've got answers!

In my eBook "Dating Without Drama," I'll teach you how
to IDENTIFY THE SOURCE of your dating dilemmas...

And you'll also learn how to OVERCOME the challenges you
DO have and learn healthy, confident behaviors that will
help you become a drama-free dater from this day forward!

To download your very own copy (and be reading every piece
of valuable advice in a matter of minutes) just follow
this link:

http://www.datingwithoutdrama.com/datingdish/archive/download/

Great DISHING with you! I'll write you again soon.

Your friend,

PS - Got a friend who needs answers to her dating dilemmas?
Forward her this email!

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