What Men Think

Real Men Confess: Why I Love a Woman Who Dates Without Drama

Hey Girlfriend,

I've noticed a funny phenomenon lately.

In the course of sorting through all of the "Dating Without Drama" success stories that I receive from women via e-mail, every so often I discover an email from a MAN.

The funny part is that most of these men sign up for my Dating Dish newsletter under a woman's name, and then once they decide to write me directly they CONFESS that their name isn't actually Shirley but Bob.

Ha!

Anyway, I love to get these emails from men because I find their honesty refreshing. Many admit that they'd heard about my site and decided to check it out to get some insight into how women think. "I like to get a peek over the hedge," as one guy put it!

But the coolest emails are when men (whom I've never met and have no personal affiliation with, mind you) email me out of the blue to tell me that my analysis of the male mind is RIGHT ON, the principles I teach are TRUE, and that women who follow my strategies are exactly the kind of women who are APPEALING to them!

So if you've ever found yourself thinking, "Hmm... these weekly emails from Paige are fun and they seem to be helpful, but I wonder if 'Dating Without Drama' really WORKS," then this DISH is for YOU!!!

That's because today MEN are speaking out and revealing exactly what THEY think of what I teach!

If you're ready to find out what's going on inside HIS mind when you live by the "Dating Without Drama" way, then read on for a truly juicy DISH!!!

HE SAYS:
"I WANT TO DATE A 'DATING WITHOUT DRAMA' GIRL"

Here's a guy who subscribed under the alias of Frida (how cute is THAT?) until he contacted me recently:

"Dear Paige,

Okay, I'm a 23 year old guy who was one day checking his email and I see an ad on the above banner that said something like 'how to catch Mr. Right.'

My first thought was 'oh I gotta see this' thinking it was intended to teach women how to manipulate men or something like that ...

I read it (your newsletter) and a couple other of your newsletters since then to find I WAS TOTALLY WRONG!

I instead want to say THANK YOU for helping girls be more reasonable in the dating world, and how to respect themselves, and also not to be 'all about' themselves making them unapproachable.

I WOULD TOTALLY DATE A GIRL WHO LIVES BY WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN TEACHING - IT'S VERY ATTRACTIVE STUFF!

Keep it up - YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

Sean in SF CA"

PAIGE SAYS:
"THERE'S A REASON WHY 'DATING WITHOUT DRAMA' WOMEN ARE SO APPEALING!"

My Response:

Hey Sean!

Thanks for your feedback. You're totally right - the approach I teach is much different than lots of those other books out there that say: "ACT busy and he'll chase you... ACT mysterious and he'll want to learn more about you ...ACT like you have a life and he'll want to date you."

When a woman Dates Without Drama she IS busy with all kinds of fun, exciting plans of her own, she IS fascinating because she's intelligent and has her own thoughts and opinions, and she DOES have a life - a very fulfilling, happy one!

She doesn't look for a man to complete her, she knows how to complete herself! And the fact that men find this confident woman drop-dead sexy and downright irresistible? Well, she certainly can't help that, now can she? ;)

As I say in Chapter 12 of my eBook "Dating Without Drama":

"As a woman, I have far too much respect for the intelligence and individuality of my fellow women to reduce their lives down to some set of manipulative 'rules' with the end goal of 'landing' a man.

But the truth is, men and women are very different. To ignore that fact is to do ourselves a huge disservice. My advice to you is simply to acknowledge (and put into practice) the behaviors and modes of communication men are responsive to rather than always relying on the behaviors that come to us instinctively.

Under no circumstances do I want you to betray who you really are or dumb yourself down so as not to be threatening to a man. That's crazy talk. In fact, I strongly encourage you to focus on yourself and develop a lifestyle that is fulfilling and true to who you really are. I would never advocate being a phony to make a man love you... quite the opposite.

However, I've got to be real with you. The dating world is a tough place. The majority of men out there are fearful of commitment (in varying degrees), so it does take a little... shall we say, strategy to help them push through that fear and arrive at knowing how amazing you are and how lucky they would be to have a serious relationship with you.

That's why you will have a leg up on all the other single women out there if you follow the principles of this book. You'll know that by exercising a little care, patience and restraint in the beginning while he's still trying to sort though his lust, confusion, and fear, you'll end up with a boyfriend who wants to have a commitment with you.

It's that simple."

And, Sean, you said that you'd want to date a girl who lives by my teachings... Well I'm happy to report that there are TENS OF THOUSANDS of girls around the world who are now confidently Dating Without Drama, so you should have no trouble meeting a phenomenal woman!

Thanks again for writing!

HE SAYS:
"YOU'RE RIGHT... WE DO FEAR COMMITMENT!"

Here's another email I received from a man in response to a newsletter about commitment:

"Hi Paige.

First let me admit that am a guy, and it's really fantastic to see what good advice you give to girls. All you say about guys is true, especially about the fear of commitment.

-David"

PAIGE SAYS:
"'DATING WITHOUT DRAMA WOMEN UNDERSTAND MEN'S THOUGHTS AND FEARS!"

Thank you, David! You were brave enough to stand up and admit - on behalf of the male sex - that you ARE afraid of commitment!

(We KNEW it!)

All kidding aside, though, I teach "Dating Without Drama" women to understand that they should never take a man's fear PERSONALLY.

That's because more often than not, men fear of the CONCEPT of commitment, not specifically a commitment with HER.

As I discuss in my book, a million fears go through a guy's mind when they think about the concept of commitment:

Here are just a few:

He's afraid of giving up his independence.
He's afraid that being in a relationship will drastically alter his life as he knows it.
He's afraid that he'll immediately be on the path to marriage without having any say in the matter.

Now MOST guys will get over these fears once they've spent enough time with a woman to realize that she is different from the stereotypical soul-sucking girlfriend that every man secretly fears.

But this has to happen on HIS timetable. He's got to do some thinking to get there.

And the truth is, when a guy is in that contemplative (read: panicked) state, anything a woman tries to do to CONVINCE him to feel a certain way will inevitably push him away.

Here are just a few of the negative things that could happen:

He will start to feel pressured.
He will feel like the power to make a decision is out of his hands (and men like to feel like they are the decision makers).
He will start to apply his fears about the CONCEPT of commitment to you, thereby wondering if a commitment WITH you is a bad idea.

I promise "Dating Without Drama" women that if they exercise patience for just a little while it will pay off.

As I say in Chapter 12:

"If you cheerfully give him the space that he needs to figure out where he wants the relationship to go (and don't forget... in the meantime you're out enjoying your active, fulfilling life and dating other people if you so choose!), something wonderful is bound to occur:

He'll have the time to realize that his fears about commitment are unfounded when it comes to you...That you're not like all the other girls...That being in a relationship with you will actually make his life better, not worse.

Barring any major commitment issues (see 'How to Tell if He's a Commitment Phobe' in Chapter 12 of 'Dating Without Drama': , your guy should come back to you on his own, with a desire to define your relationship as 'exclusive' or 'boyfriend/girlfriend.'"

So thanks again for the confession, David! Here's hoping that you find yourself a "Dating Without Drama" woman - she'll know how to deal with your fear of commitment and you'll be honored to call her your girlfriend!

HE SAYS:
"WHEN I MET A WOMAN WHO DATED WITHOUT DRAMA, I MARRIED HER!"

Here's an email from a man who subscribed to my DATING DISH under the alias of his wife -- until he felt compelled to share his thoughts with all of us!

"Dear Paige,

My name is Jon - I sent my wife's name to you so that I could receive your emails. I have read several of them and I have some comments.

First I am 55 years old and have been married to my wife for 27 years. Prior to my wife I dated many women whom I just did not click with. It seemed that every girl I dated fell in "love" with me and tried to control everything I was doing. For a while I dated only married women because of the pressure many women put on me to get married. The logic being if they were married they wouldn't pressure me to get married. That worked and I was quite happy for a long time.

Then I met my wife at a Kentucky Fried Chicken store of all places. I asked her out and she said yes. Donna was different in that she NEEDED me. And she would do the womanly things for me. I am not talking about sex here. I guess you could say she was nurturing me.

I know most women likely don't want to hear this and men either are not aware of this in themselves or will deny that this is so. However looking back on my life and my interaction with women I can see more clearly.

We always hear how men are fearful of take-charge women and how they simply cannot handle this new kind of woman. I don't think it is fear but the fact that men don't feel needed by them. Men need to protect and conquer. This is why most men withdraw from the so called powerful woman.

Give a man the opportunity to protect his "fort," his wife- to-be and his family to come, and any woman will open a door to a very loving and protective man who will give his heart to her willingly.

I hope this email will be of use to you and your readers.

Sincerely,
Jon"

PAIGE SAYS:
"'DATING WITHOUT DRAMA' WOMEN REALIZE THAT THEY CAN BE CONFIDENT AND STRONG AND STILL BE A WOMAN!"

My Response:

Thanks for your fascinating insights, Jon!

A "Dating Without Drama" woman knows that she can be a STRONG woman without being the "take-charge" type who makes a man feel like he's being chased or that he's not needed.

This has nothing to do with reverting back to an "old fashioned" standard of women.

In fact, I think there's nothing cooler than a woman who takes charge of her career (going for that promotion, managing a team of men, starting her own business - I did!) and her life (handles her finances like a pro, travels through Europe on her own, owns a tool kit - and isn't afraid to use it!).

But when it comes to romantic relationships, she recognizes that men like to pursue her (call her, ask her out, ask her to marry him without being prompted or nagged) and she LETS them!

This doesn't mean that she's weak or not modern, it means that she is smart and savvy enough to recognize how men think and behave and knows that what she wants will come to her when she lets nature take its course!

I strongly believe (and this is exactly what I state in "Dating Without Drama") that the key to a woman having a successful love life is self-confidence.

When a woman feels great about herself in the following ways...

Takes pride in her appearance but knows not to hold her body to an unrealistic standard of perfection. Has a healthy image and knows she is beautiful just as she is.
Has a dream for her life and pursues it passionately.
Enjoys a fulfilling life of friends, family time, social plans, hobbies and interests. ...then she enjoys a feeling of being COMPLETE on her own without NEEDING a man to feel whole.

A "Dating Without Drama" woman does not feel the need to PRESSURE a man into marrying her.

She knows that any man worth his salt will want more than anything to be included in her fabulous life. If he is not interested in marriage and she is, then she recognizes that he is not compatible with her life and she respectfully ends the relationship and moves on to someone who is!

You heard it straight from the mouths of men: Women who Date Without Drama are the kind of women they want to go out with, commit to, and marry!

So are you a "Dating Without Drama" woman yet?

To learn the tried-and-true dating strategies that will make you irresistible to men (and are guaranteed to have you feeling pretty darn good about your fabulous self), download your copy of "Dating Without Drama" today!

You can get it instantly by going here: http://www.datingwithoutdrama.com/datingdish/archive/download/

Have a great weekend and we'll DISH again soon!

Your friend,