Men understand the woman that is before him, he understands this wonderful creature is like NO other, he understands she is a person who dances to her own tune, she is happy, funloving, independent, yet vulnerable, she has a strong and soft side and for the life of him, he can't figure out why she has now hooked him, Mr. Playa, Playa, making his heart go pitter patter.

He falls in love because he has painted a picture of her being a Goddess in HIS mind.

EboneeJones,

Thank you. I love your Goddess play.
The soft and the strong side in balance. The dance that enchants him.

Buitifil, you are most welcome.

Goddess?

Don't know about that - maybe I am a bit special to some - and especially to me.

Hows that for a start?

wickedsoul,

You are Goddess. You say I bit special. That's a good start. Do you want to be Goddess?

I'm working on it...stay tuned!!

Competition and High Degree of Difficulty is what get's men Going!

It also accomplishes another very important thing for us: It screens all the unavailable for one reason or another men from entering our lives and causing broken hearts.

Whatever your situation is and whatever your question is in a relationship, out of relationship, looking for relationship, always use this guide: What Would Goddess DO?

"competition and a high degree of difficulty". Veeery interesting. That is one I would have to work on since I'm a natural pleaser. But already in my mind I am trying to change this behavior (that I always thought was the right way). big DUH!!! I honestly don't know how to be difficult unless I'm pissed about something...Any hints for moi?? All is appreciated, for sure.

Thank you buitiful for this very important thread! I'll be sitting right behind you in class since i know crap about this Goddess stuff. lol

Darlin,

You know everything there is to know about being Goddess. You just have to forget what your mama told you how to be. You are born Goddess and made by society pleaser. High degree of difficulty doesn't mean being selfish or bitchy. Means being Goddess.
Here is important tip:
Sit down and write what you want and what you don't want in relationship and in a man. Take your time, revise it for a few days. When it looks about right, read it over and over. Every day. Those are your boundaries. They are your guides about how to be Goddess. If a man does something that doesn't feel good, move back.. step back in the relationship. Don't try to do more and something else or be better for him. IT's that simple, just step back. Hold on to your boundaries. Match the man to them, don't move them for the man.

A Goddess doesn't need a man to feel fulfilled.
A Goddess is strong and independent.
A Goddess doesn't need to hide her true self just incase a man doesn't like her.
A Goddess is can compromise but shouldn't have to.
A Goddess know how to love her self and is able to love others, just as much.
A Goddess can be a mother, keep her house clean and tidy and go to work.
A Goddess is confident, caring, empathic and strong.

A Goddess is you.

Thank you love_able,

That was great. Please keep coming here and posting. We all are learning how to be Goddess.

Good message: Be who you are and Love who you are. Let others see who you are.

buitiful,

These are things I have come to realise since my break-up and being on this site. I know what don't kill you only makes you stronger. We all need to be strong, I was pining over my Ex for a lil while and realised if I continue to pine for him I will not be able to continue to with my life and be the best mother I can be. He is getting on with his life and I also know that he will regret his actions and it is too late for him now, I know too much.

A Goddess Knows what she will and will not accept from a man or anyone in her life, she stands by it and will accept nothing less that what she wants and deserves.

Well said Robin,

Goddess accepts love and radiates love. Goddess has a life and enjoys life without a need for a man. Goddess requires-never asks for adoration, love, devotion, attention, respect.

She does not ask for it but she gets it anyway.

o.k. scenario...(look at the time, can't sleep) o.k. there's a couple (not me, yet) ;) and the guy wants to go to a game with her...now she isn't in the mood to go, but he is persistant and made plans, etc. How would she handle this situation?

Wow, this is a lovely thread. I will think of my goddess qualities and get back to ya. Thanks buitifil, I say again you have a good head on your shoulders. Isn't it wonderful how we all are learning from one another? :)

It's a priceless gem to me!!!

Thanks girls,

Keep it going. I know other women will come here for support and reassurance. It's the most important quality in a relationship and we have to nurture it daily. A lot of the women here have been exposed to emotional or mental and even verbal and physical abuse. They have to hear this message.
We all fall into the trap of pleasing, convincing, waiting and from there on is downhill. We look back and realize what we did wrong, but we keep doing it over and over.
When I found this site and the forums, I was trilled. This place has given me my life back, my Goddess self.
We all give to each other and before we know, every time a man tries to control us, mistreat us, abuse us, the first thing that will come to our mind will be: "What Would Goddess DO?"
Because you are Goddess!

Some quotes from Paige to further explain what is a Goddess.

MEN RESPECT A WOMAN WHO RESPECTS HERSELF:

Contrary to the belief of many women, men don't want to date a doormat. When your man exhibits disrespectful behavior, you have to let him know why it isn't acceptable to you.

She doesn't look for a man to complete her; she knows how to complete herself! And the fact that men find this confident woman drop-dead sexy and downright irresistible? Well, she certainly can't help that, now can she?

BUITIFIL>>> FILLED WITH BEAUTY!!!!GREAT THOUGHT'S TO START THE DAY!!!
GODDESS!!!!! What a Fabulous word and image!!! She is to be ADORED!!!
Then I thought look up adore !!! To pay divine honor to; honor highly
love intensely, admire greatly; to offer worship...Interstingly I was
talking with some girlfriends and it came to light that alot of gals are not comfortable with being adored by men, and one gal said she then walks on him, but then we so want a great guy... I was at a wedding for my belly dancing instructor and a woman who is very happily married but went through a lot of toads, Said HAVE YOU EVER HAD A MAN ADORE YOU, and then she said Obviously not, I guess my blank momentary responce was her que!!!!LOL She said You being ME!!!
deserve a guy that Adores YOU!!! Just a thought ladies, belly dancing is often seen, as for the enjoyment of men in our culture but it was actually to train young ladies of that culture to have confidence, to learn how to carry themself, to learn how to flirt and the older women dance with the younger women so you can be as sexy, alluring and find your Goddess.. It can bring up some pretty deep emotional incorrect beleifs that we've learned and if you gently embrace your beauty no matter what your age or size Oh Yes
you awaken the Goddess!!! Put on a beautiful belly dance costume,go
to a class, we are a pretty wound up society,you'll even have a laugh
hmmmm maybe he's not that wonderful... BUt there is one that is!!!
One of my best friends said to me How do your best girlfriends treat you??? That is only the starting place of how your guy should treat you... Oprah said on her show one day, we so want guys to tell us we are beautiful, but she said isn't it interesting how when we feel beautiful we don't even need to be told We know we are Beautiful!!!
GODDESS the Ultimate in strength and beauty.. MY BRAINS LIKEN THESE THOUGHTS!!!!

When a woman loves herself, she acts like a rare jewel. She doesn't give anything away for free. She inspires a man work to win her heart, and she doesn't let her entire world hang on his opinion. This kind of attitude will create a healthy fear in a man's heart which will cause him to "adore" you.

This is a precious thread you've started, buitifil. I agree with Oprah - "isn't it interesting how when we feel beautiful we don't even need to be told. We know we are Beautiful!!!"
(check)

MEN RESPECT A WOMAN WHO RESPECTS HERSELF:
Contrary to the belief of many women, men don't want to date a doormat. When your man exhibits disrespectful behavior, you have to let him know why it isn't acceptable to you.
(check)

You know that I've done this, buitiful:
Sit down and write what you want and what you don't want in relationship and in a man. Take your time, revise it for a few days. When it looks about right, read it over and over. Every day. Those are your boundaries. They are your guides about how to be Goddess. If a man does something that doesn't feel good, move back.. step back in the relationship. Don't try to do more and something else or be better for him. IT's that simple, just step back. Hold on to your boundaries. Match the man to them, don't move them for the man.
(CHECK - but I've gone over the top and revised it for a year)

From reading all the posts on this thread, I think I'm well on my way to Goddess status
Ahhh! Auds

Thanks Auds,

Everything is created twice. The first thing in your mind. Your mind knows has no physical limits. This is how human species survived. We are the only species with more, than physical power. Obviously, the mind is far superior to physical power. Ladies, use your mind. Your story determines how you feel. Not the other way around. We all tell ourselves stories about these men and make them all we want them to be.
We pine after them, we miss them, we can't live without them... Why are they not right there with us, loving us, adoring us? Because they are not what we make them to be. Because we miss all that we want, not what they can give us. Match the man to the relationship you want. Give love to the man who can love you and give you all the things you are missing. That's what Goddess does.

Buitiful,

I like your idea for the Goddess thread. Yes, strong confident women are sexy. But be careful.....

Going beyond is as bad as falling short. Chinese proverb

Extremes on either end are destructive. I agree, "When your man exhibits disrespectful behavior, you have to let him know why it isn't acceptable to you." But letting him know what is not acceptable needs to be done in a calm, rational assertive way and with proper timing (sometimes not always in the heat of the moment.) Being a goddess is not about defending my ego. I prefer to be the elegant, somewhat quiet goddess!

szstudio52

PS. Any woman out there who feels that she is not beautiful or is in need of a massive self confidence boost should run right out and sign up for a Middle Eastern dance class ("belly dance")! I did three years ago (I was unhappily married to a very controlling and abusive man at the time) and I am sooo glad I did it! Like the woman above said, this ancient artform somehow has that magical power to bring out "the Goddess" in all of us! And it is just plain lots of fun too!

SO TRUE: "But letting him know what is not acceptable needs to be done in a calm, rational assertive way and with proper timing (sometimes not always in the heat of the moment.) Being a goddess is not about defending my ego. I prefer to be the elegant, somewhat quiet goddess!"

You are sooo right on target, sweets.
Thank you again for making this clear for us all... especailly MEEE!
Auds xoxoxox

Yes,

I love this! All these ladies are here defining what Goddess is! Thank you all! Please keep this going.
Assertiveness is not the same as bitchiness. Remember ladies, we are on "Dating without Drama" site.

No screaming, name calling, arrogance. Goddess is as szstudio put it: Elegant, quite.
Besides, when did a man HEAR your words, when you are screaming? Man hear better when you are quiet. Just like they notice when you step back.

Goddess' light shines bright, even on the darkest of days. Goddess provides love where there is hat, joy when there is sadness, and heals where there are wounds.

Goddess is the balance.

Goddess radiates all that is within her and all that is good, and Goddess puts NO ONE on a pedestal that is taller than her own.

To that, we are all Goddess.

I didn't know I was Goddess until (I think) the other day while on the phone with a guy (we've been talking a couple mo.) He asked if he could ask me some relationship questions. Like what do I want in a man? Then I turned it on him and he proceeded to floor me with his comments about what he likes about me (we haven't met yet and might soon) so I think he wanted to be clear before he makes the long drive. here is what he had to say.

1) I like that you stand your ground (I don't want you to cave) WTH?? is he talking about me??

2) I like that you know who you are

3) I like that you are confident and are a whole person

4) I like that you are pleasant to talk to, a breath of fresh air (he hasn't seen me mad)lol!!

then i read your posts about what a Goddess is... I actually have never heard this out of another man's mouth (because I wasn't there yet)...just amazing what this site and you girls and guys have shown me. Thank you so much. See, I was the doormat!! Not now. :)

also I've been following "The Bachelorette" and I admire Jillian! She is a total woman. I paid very close attention to how she responded to sudden crises and how she would put so much thought and take her time (when a guy was talking to her) to answer in an intelligent way. Now if I hadn't been on DWD I would probably not have thought to pay attention to her behavior so much. She taught me a bunch too. I told myself...I'm going to be like that. In control of my anger and thoughts and if there is silence while trying to think about how to respond to a man (while he's standing in front of you)let there be. She took all the time while looking in his eyes before answering. She didn't care! She knew that her response was going to have an impact and time was needed at that point. I'm in total awe of her! Hope I haven't strayed from the point of this thread! :)

oh little darlin,

Welcome and thank you for your inspirational story. Good for you girl!
From doormat to Goddess! That proves that we all are Goddesses inside, just have to find it. We all have to do what oh little darlin did: Find a role model, a woman who we admire and learn from her attitude.
What Would Goddess DO¡

Thank you Darlin

Jillian came after DWD...you guys were the first (and Paige of course) to get me going. Thank you!!

Ladies, if you want puzzled to come back please go to "All IN FAVOR...." under "relationships" thanks much!

A goddess takes care of her temple, physically, mentally and spiritually. She is a goddess in all her relationships!

A goddess knows that while a women falls in love in a mans presence, sometimes a man falls in love in a women's absence.

A goddess knows that she is the jewel in the relationship, and the man is the setting.

Rock on goddesses!

little darlin.......At first I hated the format of the show (s). The Bachelor, garbage. The woman on there do nothing for the female gender and go against every principle of DWD. I didn't like it when it first started, and I don't like it now.

I found myself watching The Bachlorette too. Here is what I saw (especially after being introduced to DWD).

1. There is Competition
2. She is not so readily available
3. She is allowed to care and to show it, but does not commit
4. When not on a date, she does not contact
5. They are left to wonder what she is doing (on other dates)

Everything we are being taught here and with DWD and she had 3 of them proposing to her in what 3 months? She is Goddess, and so are we!

I am right there with you SJP. Those are excellent guidelines for Goddess.
Competition and high degree of difficulty is what gets men going.
Caring, showing it, being warm, emotional and sexy is all part of being a Goddess. At the same time, draw the line where your boundaries are. Don't over commit emotionally or otherwise. Don't over function in the relationship. Let the man do all of the work and keep him guessing. This doesn't stop when you are married. For those of us who been married, we all know how quickly we become doormats, taken for granted. You are a Goddess, married or not.
Keep it coming ladies. Share what do you think Goddess is.

sjp and buitifil!!! All I can say is WOW! Really, I am so thankful that I checked out this thread. I am getting so much from what you both have to say. "I am the jewel and he is the setting"! I'm sitting here shaking my head...this says it all. To be honest the word Goddess makes me a bit uncomfortable (pedestal thing)but the idea behind I totally get!! I feel more comfortable with "total woman" (for me). I have a friend who's been married25 yrs. She is a total Goddess, always has been and I told her about this site and she said you're finally getting it? ha ha She said she is the same way with her husband now as she was before they married. (what you said buitifil) and I asked "why"??? I didn't get that...I mean she's married, right? But you just said it and she said, "to keep him on his toes and guessing. She knew all this stuff. See, when she and I hung out, I thought what she was doing was being deceitful and dishonest, but it wasn't. She knew what a man looks for! Still shaking my head. lol

buitifil...would you please elaborate on "high degree of difficulty"?

High degree of difficulty for him.
You have a life, you are complete, you have other men interested. You are not waiting for him to complete you, to entertain you, to give you all the things you want in life. He has to find a way to get to you. He has to offer something that you can't refuse to get your attention.

buitifil...i am so increadibly greatfull for this thread...and i would like to thank oh little darling for advising me to read it xxx

i have been in very few relationships...and my last relationship i was hurt and abused mentaly verbaly and physically

without knowing it i have been made to believe i am worthless and have become a very pesimistic person..but only towards myself..i believe all the things he used to say and do to me are true...and as much as i hate to admit it ive been waiting for a guy to pik me off my feet and build my confidence.

i now have learnt for myself this is not possible...i can only help myself...i have now met someone...who i like very much..but he hates the way i pull myself down all the time...he can say as many nice things to me...but i always feel selfconcious ...and i think being with a man brings out all my insecurities which i dont want to happen

i would love to learn how to be a godess!! <3

the words ladys have spoke on this thread have already been very inspiring and encouraging

last time i spoke to him we left on a bad note...im seeing him 2moro..and even tho i know it takes time i would love to show him the godess that i am (or at least working towards)

thanks for making me realise

xxx

lou_que,

Welcome,

If you like to learn how to be a Goddess, just listen to yourself. Not to that man voice, not to anybody who said hurtful things to you. You can start with writing I with capitol letter. Read your post. You don't have one I capitalized. Your name is just as appropriate. I want you to change your name to something that reflects who you were as a little girl. Now, remember what was it that you wanted to do at one time or another but never got to. Signing up for a drama class or paint or write, or dance.. whatever it is... I want you to do it. Right now.
You are on your way to find your Goddess.

There you go girl! I am proud of you! How do you feel? Is your heart singing?

Buitifil...thankyou...I have already changed my name to lil live wire which is what my uncle used to call me as a child
(Im starting to feel better already :))
makes me think that I did used to be a happy child eh

n I will be sure to join one of those belly dancing godess classes they sound great

(p.s also didnt realise my whole lower case i's :s dosnt that just show... I made sure I was capitolised and important this time ;))

thanks for your insite/wise words and support x

I always wanted to do it (the belly dancing class) but been busy. I think I am going to make a point to check it out and see if there is one starting soon. Great Idea LilLive-wire. What a great name!

hello godeess!

Please help me how to be one in my situation:
I have been dating my guy for 7 months...he was crazy about me at the begining, because I was confident, unreachable, sexy...and now he is still interested but is not the same. He does not show the same interest anymore...For example he is on holidays, visiting his Dad in Jamaica and I havent heard from him for the past 2 days. He txts me or calls me daily, even when we have had a fight...I am sitting here by myself,also on holidays visiting my family... And my friends and family have not been helpful at all, believe me.

He is having such a great time that he has forgot about me? I really dont want to txt him...and I really dont feel like a goddess no more.

Please help :(

Hannah,

Welcome,

You have done exactly what you are suppose to do. Just ask yourself: What would Goddess do?
You got the right answer: NOTHING!
Don't text, don't call.. He maybe having a good time or he maybe having too much to do. Whatever the case, he will notice you if you are not around and at his beck and call. In fact,just be who you are. The sexy, confident, unreachable girl... You already are Goddess. Have you forgotten?
Just to ease your mind: Men will treat you sometimes different to taste you. They will push to find out where your boundaries are and if they are firm or flexible. Keep your boundaries and don't change them for a man. Change the man if he doesn't respect your boundaries. They are there for a reason. The reason for boundaries is respect and love that you give to yourself and to others. Only if you have those in place you can expect other people to respect you and love you just the way you are. So, keep yourself who you are and love your feelings. That always sends the right message without having to say anything.
When he text you, be cheerful and don't mention anything about him not texting for two days. If you resume your Goddess attitude and become a little more aloof and not always available and he continues to act that way, you can tell him calmly: I don't like when you tell me one thing and do something else. I don't like when you say you are going to call and you don't.
If he doesn't change, you just step back from the relationship and give yourself and him space to figure out what is going on. Keep coming here for advice. A lot of women here can help with any situation. Good luck

I think being a Goddess don't guarantee that a man will love or respect us do to the fact that there are just some men who don't or won't get it. So all is not lost if things should not work as planned. buitifil...I think you should change your name to "Mother of all Goddesses'. You have a certain touch. :)

lil livewire!! Great choice and doesn't it give you a sense of self already... Look at you go!!!

Buitifil,

Thank you so much for your reply, it was needed and much apreciatted.
I needed reasurance that what i was doing was the correct thing.(My sisters were saying "just dump him").
I also think you should change your name for "Mother of all goddesses"...you clearly know what you are talking about.

And yes, he texted last night just to say Hi. But I am not going to be flexible with my boundaries again...I have read your posts 3 times now and you and the girls in this forum have supported me in a way that no one else has.

And for that, thank you Buitifil, Robinicarolina and all the girls here...

xxx