Why do the ones I like never follow up and the ones I don't pursue me? What am I doing wrong?
Tue Nov 17 2009 - 07:40 pm
Hi Paige,
Why is it that the ones I am not interested in pursue me and the ones I am interested in do not? I let them take the lead, am easy to get along with. I'm sure I'm just as pretty and easy to get along with with the ones that I want to follow up with me as the ones I'm not, so what gives? Don't worry - I don't get nervous or try to hard or otherwise act weird around the ones I like. I'm sure I act interested without being over the top (not too eager, clingy - just be my usual positive self). I just don't get it. I want to give up. These are guys I meet through chemistry.com. If I want to see the guy again, he doesn't call. If I don't want to see the guy again, he does. They approach me about meeting in the first place, so there was at least some initial attratction there, I guess. I am becoming very discouraged and think I should just hang it up.
Lulu178
Wed Nov 18 2009 - 11:51 am
#2
What planet are we on again?--Oh yeah, the stupid one, where what is easy is always the opposite of what you want.
Sorry, didn't meant to sound like a b***ch but if we ALL have that going on or at least have at some point or another. It is human nature to desire what is difficult. That is why playing Hard to Get works so well.
Remember too, that quality guys will be more in demand, so there may be a fair amount of "competition". They like to shop around too.
So carry on. Sounds like your doing fine. Sassy has a good point about having multiple ways of meeting men. Eventually you will hit the right chemistry combination. It is just a numbers game
Wed Nov 18 2009 - 04:25 pm
#3
LuLu178 I feel your pain. The guys I want to just leave me alone, keep calling but the one I want to be with is either clueless or stupid.
But I agree that when you meet someone with chemisty, it flows easily from first date on so keep looking, I am.
Wed Nov 18 2009 - 04:33 pm
#4
I would like to meet one woman (or indeed any human being) who doesn't identify with your problem, Lulu178. It is all part of the game and you play it until you, a jigsaw puzzle piece, find another jigsaw puzzle piece that fits perfectly.
Don't give up that easily!!!
Aw. Why do you think it's you? As you said your not the needy, clingy type, so perhaps it's just not the right man?
Honestly, I think if you meet the right person, there's no pulling away from either person. Which, btw-I don't believe there is only one person for everyone.
I've been in love before and never once did either of us back off or question anything...it just flowed after the first date.
I always keep that in mind. I don't think I answered your question, but I too am far from the clingy, needy type, so I just always think if it's meant to be it will be AND it will be mutual:).
The online thing is frustrating (I've been doing it for a couple months). I think it's smart to just make it another avenue to meet men (I use that term loosly with many of them online), then you can't go wrong. Just put yourself out there as much as possible (preferably doing things YOU love), be happy with yourself ( which means not being so hard on yourself) and usually when your least expecting it, that's when it happens.