When is it right to ask about previous girlfriends?
Sun Oct 25 2009 - 05:02 pm
Is there a "right" time to ask a man about his history with previous girlfriends?
I know all about the ex wife, but don't have any knowledge about this man's past history with girlfriends since separation. I feel this is important to know but I'm a little unsure about asking, and how such a question might be perceived.
Some male perspective on ths would be appreciated -would you regard this as an intrusive question from someone you were dating, and were about to sleep with?
Sun Oct 25 2009 - 06:05 pm
#2
Here is what has been my experience. My ex told me all about his past relationships voluntarily but a lot of it turned out to be lies. My current guy also volunteered info and a lot of that turned out to be lies.
When asked about why he lied about some of the details, he told me that what's in the past should stay in the past and that he isn't necessarily proud of what went down in some of his more recent relationships. Now, he did tell me some details that were the truth and he did volunteer that along the way. I tend to believe that details of past relationships are important and I do talk about my past relationships. My current BF, however, shuts me up all of the time and tells me that he has no desire to hear any details about my past relationships.
Basically, his point was that what happened with his past relationships is irrelevant and immaterial since our interactions are new and in the present and are not connected to either of our previous behavior or actions in past relationships. And honestly, I think he makes a good point.
Sun Nov 01 2009 - 07:14 pm
#3
.
Sun Oct 25 2009 - 08:24 pm
#4
I think maybe after a few weeks. I think it depends on how much you get them to open up and how much emotional bonding has occurred between the 2 parties. if I feel I really click with a man and it might go somewhere, maybe I'd ask but I don't want to know too many details. who cares really? I just want enough information so that I can determine if I'm just the rebound girl. I look for the man not being in a relationship for some time.
also the way they talk about an ex is a good indication. if they start dogging her and don't think it's inappropriate, they may have issues
Mon Oct 26 2009 - 02:33 am
#5
Thanks, for me, knowing if someone had numerous affairs in their past relationships would be a warning bell. I had that with a previous partner, and of course his pattern did not stop with me.
Good point though about leaving it a few weeks.
Funnyone, for you, what constitutes not being in a relationship for sometime. Can you elaborate a bit more on that?
I never ask about previous relationships. And because of this, I find that they open up and tell you anyway when they are ready.
For me, I don't need to know about past relationships. Its what I have with him now that is important.