What happened here?
Wed Jan 13 2010 - 04:13 am
This guy and I spoke briefly on a boardwalk area off the beach several months ago. Then a few weeks ago, we ran into each other again and spoke for about an hour - very fluid and engaging. He's a doctor who specializes in spines and joints, so he gave me a pseudo-exam right there (hands on my hips, moving my head back and forth, etc.). He told me I had nice hair. Anyway, he offered me his business card when I asked him whether he was in a group or alone. I simply took it. The conversation continued, then when we were getting ready to go our separate ways, he hugged me, and I enthusiastically told him how glad I was that we spoke and so forth. He said that he meets lots of people all the time, and you never know who he'll meet who may need a teacher. I then volunteered my telephone number for him to call me if that happens. He put my name and number right into his cell phone. We chatted a few more minutes, then he hugged me again. We walked towards our cars, and he made another comment about my hair, and I gently stroked down his arm and smiled as I walked away. End of story!!! What happened?
Wed Jan 13 2010 - 06:08 am
flirting.
see if he calls.
otherwise, it's good even just to enjoy the attention!!
Wed Jan 13 2010 - 06:23 am
I can usually enjoy flirting; however, in this case I am surprised that he didn't take it a step further and call, even though nothing was said about our getting together during our meeting. In this case the attention he paid feels like games now and just insincere.
Wed Jan 13 2010 - 07:57 am
Strangers on a boardwalk stopping to enjoy each other's comment, you lived in the moment and it was nice, do not read more into then is necessary.
It is the expectation of wanting something more to happen that makes a person question what happened.
Aren't you sincere when you met people, friendly, encouraging and not playing games? Why assume he was?
Wed Jan 13 2010 - 08:01 am
I see your points -- to a degree. He gave me his business card, and although nothing was said by either of us about calling, I thought he threw it out with the hope I may actually use it. Knowing (but not saying) that I would not call him first, I wanted him to have my number before we parted, and his saying that he may actually meet someone who could help me with a teaching position, the opportunity presented itself. I just thought that with the comfort level of the conversation, the hugs, and so forth, that more would surely arise from it.
Wed Jan 13 2010 - 09:08 am
Reread that section in DWD about calling. Sometimes men don't call. It is not a reason to think you did anything. For all you know he has a girlfriend. Just think of it as flirting practice and keep talking to practice.
And throw away his darn card, we don't call men first. Then you won't be tempted.
Your only job is to be nice, smile, and smell good, the rest is for the man to do.
Wed Jan 13 2010 - 10:33 am
I am in full agreement with you about my not calling, as I mentioned in my earlier post. I won't budge on that.
Yes, he may have another commitment. He just didn't appear to be that committed when he was with me! Typical man behavior - when he is not happy with his current circumstance, right?!
Regarding the flirting practice, I guess we can all use more of that. It just isn't flattering when you're cast aside afterwards, and that's how I feel. Granted, I don't have his other half of the story, but I guess there could be a multitude of reasons why he didn't call. I am going to read the post you referenced now.
Fri Jan 15 2010 - 10:22 pm
He was on his lunch break?
He doesn't owe you an explanation as to who/what he may be committed to. This is not typical man behavior, he was out on the beach same as you, you do not know him to compare his actions to other men.
Perhaps he didn't think any more of the conversation then what it was, meeting a nice interesting woman who took the time to chat with him.
What did he say to you to make you think he would call other then letting you know about a teaching position? But now you sound like you are angry with him, as if he gave you false hope, he promised you something and didn't deliver. As if after months of dating him, he changed, went MIA. Did you have this same type of feeling about him during the first converstaion which led you to think something more would develop?
How did he cast you aside?
Could it be you picked up on the wrong signals from him, him being nice is just who he is and he stops and talks to everyone because he is one with the universe?
Sat Jan 16 2010 - 09:22 am
No, he wasn't on his lunch break. We ran into each other after 7:00 a.m. and spoke for over an hour.
No, he doesn't "owe" me an explanation as to why he didn't contact me. I just thought that there was so much of a comfort level (male/female) and chemistry during that conversation that he would have furthered it. (The first conversation doesn't hold much weight in this scenario, as we only chatted for a few minutes.) I think that if he were just being nice and friendly, the conversation and interaction would have been much different.
Mon Feb 08 2010 - 05:27 pm
New development: I just referred an acquaintance of mine to this doctor, and she will probably call him. Anyway, as our first contact since the meeting in my post, I emailed him with a simple greeting, hoping that he was doing well, etc., and then the next paragraph detailed my acquaintance's recent medical issues. My closing was a whimsical reference to his semi-diagnosis during our conversation, and that was it. Nothing forward or flirtatious at all; however, I did venture to make contact, which was big for me, if you have read my earlier posts.
Yes, he responded after two days and graciously thanked me for the referral and encouraged her to call him before she made any decisions. His P.S. was a recommendation to have my spine checked, which addressed my whimsical closing in my message, and then he put a winking emoticon next to it.
So now there are two benign pieces of communication after about six weeks of no contact. I guess I didn't need anything more benign in this mix, but I am sure you responders will tell me that I asked for this in my rather "professional only" message. He responded in kind. Hm-m...
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