What do you do when he goes back to the old girlfriend?

OK I hope someone out there has advice for me. I just signed up so I am new to this. My story is a long one so I'm sure I may leave something out! anyway I met this man in December, I wasnt ready or looking for anyone. He charmed me, said all the right things, and really made me feel good. The first month was weird, he would only see me for like 10 minutes a day stopping by. Never on the weekends. I knew there was a reason but he always had an excuse. As we grew closer he told me he had just gotten out of a 6 yr relationship with a woman. She gave him an ultimatum in October either marry me or I'm gone. (she lived with him also) but moved out. This woman is a total whack job herself but that's a whole other story. She basically wanted a father to her 9 year old son, who she had with an affair while she was married to her ex. He told her he would not marry her so she moved out (now she didnt even have her son living with her at his house) She doesnt even want the poor child and dumped him on her ex husband. Anyway I will get back to my story. So he was seeing me and her in the beginnning which I didnt know which makes sense that he didnt want to see me all the time. At that time he never invited me to his house. Anyway I fell for him really hard. He is a charmer in all kinds of ways! I began spending more time with him and now at his house. He does drink a lot which I know if bad but I thought I could help him, lol which I know now I cant. We would sit and talk for hours and he would talk about her and I would be a friend and listen which was very hard. She had a new boyfriend which he figures she found when she gave the ultimatum which was eating him alive. Well needless to say we had ups and downs every 2 to 3 weeks. He would call and say he couldnt see me anymore then 2 days later here we go again. I know this sounds crazy but I fell in love with this man. I feel like I love him more than I have ever loved anyone. When we are together we are so much alike, we laugh, have fun and get along so well. As time went on I could always tell when he was thrown into a tailspin. I did a big no no and checked his phone. He talked to her daily and texted her constantly. On those days he would be drinking so I knew this had happened. He told me he still loves her but not in that way. He said she cheated on him and just cant get over why and is very hurt that she did this and broke up with him. It's very unresolved. I thinks it the male ego that has a lot to do with it. I told him I loved him early on which was stupid I know. He didnt say it back and always said, dont say that. We got closer of course and I spent a lot of time with him seeing him almost daily. We went on trips together. He met my parents who live out of town. Now I never have met his family. Well to make a long story short, last friday night at 2 am we are sleeping at his house and all of a sudden I hear a "Hello??" well he didnt have his door locked and she walked in. He went in there and took her outside. I had a bad feeling he would make me leave. I was very calm about the situation which I cant believe. He came back in and said he told her to leave he was with someone else which she seemed very surprised. She left crying. She wants him back now. This week he has been seeing me almost everyday he says he doesnt want her back because he could never trust her again but still loves her but not in that way because they had been together for 6 years and been through a lot. She doesnt want to work and only wants someone to take care of her. She's a basket case in the head. I just cant go on like this. Last night I stayed with him. He was stand offish which I knew something was going on. Well her told me her current boyfriend changed her number so they cant talk anymore. I said you need to let her go but I just dont think he can obviously. I told him I could no longer do this anymore. I told him to get back with her maybe he will be happy. He said he didnt want to. I'm so tired of this roller coaster ride. I told him I waas going to block his number so I wouldnt be able to communicate with him. He begged me not to do it. He cried. I know he loves me but he never says it unless he is drinking. I have a huge heart and a lot to give but I need it in return. I love him so much and my friends are getting sick of hearing all this over and over. I left, I kissed him goodbye and we both were in tears. I know if I dont block him then he will be calling me and it will be starting all over again. What should I do? I know he loves me because I can feel it. I dont think I can help him get over her. I really dont thinnk he wants her back but he cannot let go. Please advise........... I need help bad!

Hi Ladybugtina

Hi and welcome.

Would you mind posting your question on a new thread (just copy and paste it)? That way, your question will get more attention, and people will be able to use this thread to respond to the original poster's question.

Petunia,

I agree with Chloe Blue Eyes -muster your dignity, hold your head high and gracefully bow out. You cannot remain friends with this man while he's with another. It's too hard.

I can appreciate you sometimes wonder about the other man from 12 years ago. You acted well, and with dignity here. The fact that he still asks about you just means you exited with style and grace. If you remained as friends, you would not have been able to achieve such a positive outcome.

You are a wonderful woman, with Goddess like qualities. Keep on being a goddess!

Sending you heaps of care and strength...

Lock the door behind him!

Hey sweet.things50

Good for you girl! x