You do need to flirt and display your interest, just not too much. I think it's a pretty fine line...how to not seem too interested, but seem interested at the same time. I think non-verbal cues work best, touching his arm while you're talking, leaning in, teasing, smiling, etc.

what if you have been giving off "uninterested" vibes for so long, and only verbally expressing interest when the two of you start getting emotionally heated over feelings and are headed to an arguement.

how do you turn things around when he starts walking away from you saying he doesnt know how he feels as i confuse him by being interested one min then disinterested the next?

You might have to tell him that you have trouble emoting, that it's an issue you've always had, and you're working on it, and he will have to take you at your word that you are interested in him. You might as well be honest. You can also ask him what you do that makes him think that you are uninterested. He might give you some valuable information, things that you can avoid doing in the future if it is hurtful enough to him that you are having heated arguments over it.

I have behaved simlarly in the past. Deep down I was so afraid of rejection that I would actually be cold to the men I was attracted to, to the point of them thinking that I didn't even like them at all. It's a defensive mechanism, self-sabotage, really. Can't have an opportunity to be rejected if you don't actually engage with anyone.

But that's a lonely way to live. Try simple non-verbal cues like smiling more. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm not smiling in a situation where I really should be (at a party, on a date, etc.) I usually, I guess, have more of a studious, serious face than an open, accessible face. I really do have to remind myself to smile and be more open sometimes. Try it.

Also like I said earlier, the touching is a big thing. Sitting close to him, holding hands, touching his shoulder or arm, swatting him a little bit if he tells a funny joke, you know, just subtle things are good non-verbal body language cues that guys pick up on to know that you are interested.

But at the heart of the matter is: why do you have trouble emoting? Are you just kind of an unemotional person, or do you have a lot of blocks and walls up around you? Work on you, and then think about why you might be unemotional with your partner. But it sounds to me if you are having heated fights over it, that you need to get the skinny from him about what he needs that you're not providing right now (is it compliments, attention, sexual needs??) It's okay to ask him what he needs from you. It's okay for you to tell him what you need, too.

This is a very good subject as I think a lot of women have this same difficulty.

It can be all too easy to get too caught up in masculine energy when we meet a new man we really like. When this happens, we tense up, we're a bit on edge, we over analyse and we stop being the fabulous, confident and relaxed woman we really are.

I find it helps to give myself a little talking to before I see my man. I give myself some positive, and affirming messages - reminding myself that I choose to be soft, feminine, relaxed and Goddess like. Men need to see the soft side, and if that isn't coming through, that can either turn off a man straight away, or he can be a bit confused.

Consciously watch your body when you're with a man -I know when I'm a bit tense, my shoulders get stiff. A few deep breaths, dropping my shoulders and stretches can work wonders!

I also watch my head space. If my mind is over analysing, (perhaps thinking "gee, I wonder if he really likes me? Maybe I shouldn't have said such and such...") then I just notice that, and gently direct my energy back to me. This sort of inner conversation is not helpful as it blocks us from expressing our feminine self.

Giving a man clues also as to what we like and want more of helps as well. If a man compliments me, or puts his arm around my shoulders, I'll use that opportunity to cosy on into him, smile and say "that feels really lovely". That simple feedback will often be enough to break down the barriers you sometimes get at the start of a new relationship.

I'd be interested in what other women have to say on this topic as well...

I'd be somewhat wary of declaring to a man that I have a problem showing my emotions. I would think this sort of conversation would be a tad heavy to a man - especially if it's a fairly new relationship.

Better to work on it, and show him by your actions you're interested in him.

I'm saying, if they're having heated arguments about it now, he might break it off with her before she has a chance to change her behavior and show her interest more. So better to be honest and tell him that she sees it's an issue and she's working on it, rather than not address it at all. It takes a lot of time and practice to snap out of behaving this way (I know because I used to do it), and she might not have that time to wait right now.

That's a good point also Tiny - I guess it all depends on the situation. I know if it were me, I'd rather work on myself and change my behaviour first than draw attention to a supposed fault in myself to a respective partner. If he raises the issue first, (perhaps as a prelude to a break up), then that's a different matter, and of course in that case, I think the best thing to do is come clean.

Consider also what actions and behaviours the man is also doing which might be putting you a bit on edge. Sometimes when a man isn't giving us all the necessary go ahead signals, (maybe he's blowing hot and cold), I know that, for me, shuts me down a bit.

It might not be all down to you that's all!

I agree with Trace. Talking about it may draw too much negative attention to the situation. And you know men -- too much talk and they lose interest :) Just work on flirting with him and definitely use your eyes and touch him when you tell a story etc. all very good advice. Try to remember that men are sometimes just as nervous as we are in romantic situations. They have a lot of pressure on them to always act like "the man"....I believe they love a little bit of encouragement. Not too much, but just subtle things here and there. If you are interested in him and are dying for him to kiss you, let him know with your eyes. I'm sure he will love it!

Also when you greet him on your next date, set the tone by initiating a hug and tell him how happy you are to see him. He will love that!!

Good luck.

I agree with Trace. Talking about it may draw too much negative attention to the situation. And you know men -- too much talk and they lose interest :) Just work on flirting with him and definitely use your eyes and touch him when you tell a story etc. all very good advice. Try to remember that men are sometimes just as nervous as we are in romantic situations. They have a lot of pressure on them to always act like "the man"....I believe they love a little bit of encouragement. Not too much, but just subtle things here and there. If you are interested in him and are dying for him to kiss you, let him know with your eyes. I'm sure he will love it!

Also when you greet him on your next date, set the tone by initiating a hug and tell him how happy you are to see him. He will love that!!

Good luck.