Texting relationship
Fri May 01 2009 - 04:12 am
Hi
Long story...I met a guy in the Co-op just over a year ago, he was from up North and was here having an interview. We instantly connected and I was very forward and gave him my number. He text me and we met for a drink there and then. He told me he was married but looking at leaving his wife when his kids left. Heard it all before... After that we text and emailed each other for over a year, I was happy not to meat as he was married, although we met once in London. I carried on with my life and dating other men, but couldnt get him out of my mind..I tried to brake it off 2 times and he persuaded me to wait for him. 3 months ago he text me in the middle of the night saying he wanted to visit me anytime over the next week, I said the weekend as my daughter was away for the weekend, he said he had left his wife, his son and daughter were now ok and liveing abroad and at Uni. he said he was living in his brothers house on his own which was up for sale. On the wed he emailed me and said he had to go to a funeral as a best friends dad had died, and we then moved the date to the next weekend, on the tuesday he cancelled again as it was his died mothers birthday and had to spend it with his dad..we then re-arrange for the next week..after a couple of days he started talking about the weekend after, turned out he had forgotten the plans and wanted to move them to the next week...I sent him an email calling it a day as I couldnt believe he would forget our plans. eventually he persuaded me to re plan the weekend after, and yes again he cancelled to go to the Grand National as his friend had given him tickets..We then re planned for 2 weeks after that, on the tuesday during out texting I asked him if he was still coming, eventually he text back saying he was planning to, but had to see how work was panning out...a few days later he text to say he was scared of making a time comitment in case he couldnt keep it..on the Thursday as he still had not said a time or confirmed a meeting, I cancelled him and said I was going away, and thought he wouldnt mind as he was struggling to find time to visit me..I said I was going sailing with an old male friend..of course he then was texting lots as he was jealous. On the sunday I decided that was enough, and emailed saying that I wanted all or not at all, he this time sent a really long email saying that he was almost in love with me but was not going to try and change my mind. Fine we left it as that. He then emailed me last week with a joke and stupidly I replied, then this week he emailed me and asked if I was OK, stupidly i replied saying how was he, of course now I havent hear back. Looking back I am not sure what to think, my instinct says as he hasnt phoned and communicated apart from email and text that that is all it is, troublew is he sent such lovely feeling words, and wrote me poems and said that he just had a mountain to climb before he could get to me...Am I pressurising him to much, is he really a selfish nasty person..like all my close friends have said..just dont really know what is best to do...can any one help..xx
Mon Oct 05 2009 - 12:53 pm
#2
i completely agree! you seem like an amazing woman and if he cant treat you like one then wow move on because he isnt worth it! i have been in similiar shoes as you and its not fun and you dont know what to think! i no longer speak to this man any more and im much better off and am now kind of sort of dating my best friend (feel free to go and read/comment on my "issue" haha. under bestfriend to boyfriend? topic is he "the one" i know i can use all thehelp i can get with this one) good luck girl i hope things work out!
Thu Oct 08 2009 - 05:04 pm
#3
Am I right in thinking you only met this guy once in a store...your relationship was based on text and he tells you that he might be in love with you? Run, I say...run, far, far away. First of all, he's shown himself to be completely discourteous...he makes plans with you and then tries to wriggle out of them, no doubt because he felt brave at the time of planning and then realised he couldn't follow through...so he either 'forgot' or made up an excuse.
I know people say all the time 'it's not you...it's him'...but in this case, it really is. I would leave him in the dust....he sounds like a player...he wants you, he doesn't want you, he wants you, he doesn't want...he definitely wants you when SOMEONE else wants you...but when he's got you...he doesn't want you. Being with this dude would be a long, hard slog. Best avoided, I'd say.
Hi Joanne,
Wow! I thought I was the only one with a similiar experience. I dated a man last year that did ALL of same things your guy did.He ALSO, was supposedly separated from his wife and filing the divorce papers...Well she called me,many months after I told him that I would not see him anymore due to his inconsiderate behaviour(which went on far to long). She apparently got my number from his cell and told me that they were still married and that he cheated on her ,constantly! She was very sweet to me and I apologized to her for dating her husband(OMG)! She is from another country,much younger than me, is in school, and is very dependendent on him,financially,which is why she was still with him at this point. I felt really bad for her....My point is...are you SURE that your guy is really divorced? The guy I dated called alot at first but soon almost solely used text as a form of communication. (that should have been my first clue...lol)That relationship was a turning point for me. I learned alot but was angry at myself, most of all, for putting up with unacceptable behaviour for as long as I did.
Bottom line, even if your guy is free and not married anymore...you certainly deserve to be treated MUCH better than that. I say cut your losses and find someone who deserves you!