Suspicion
Sat Nov 14 2009 - 01:57 am
Me and my partner have been together since Febuaray the 14th 2009, Very romantic right?! Its now the 14th of november 2009 and lately I've been geting very suspicious about missing condoms and other women in his life. We've been argueing a lot lately which doesn't really solve anything because by the end of the night were all lovy dovey anyway. But i hate thinking about the facts of argueing for no reason what so ever and not making a difference in anything at all. which really pisses me off. Its probably my fault that he sits around the house on his PS3 constantly because i become a bitchy jelouse ignorent person when he gets back or just before he leaves. He told me only just last night that he can't take another one of our arguements which is the same with me i don't even understand how we've made it this far but its got to do with our baby on the way aswell i guess... which is due on the 31st of December 2009.. so im farely there. But i know i have to stress less and get over a lot of things i just need some advise from the wall around me then inbetween if that made any sence what so ever.
My question is... His is cheating and lieing about this or am i just geting myself caught up in my head being typically Jelouse, please help?!
Thank you, Geraldine
Sat Nov 14 2009 - 08:17 am
i think that u need to relax since ure pregnant and during this time u guys should be closer....i also think that the both of u need alot of space and time from each other to sort your selves out. let him know that ure making the decision to be on your own for a while to take care of you and do just that. while ure on your time and space love yourself date yourself...do not call him text email or call at all. just leave things as it is and sooner or later he will contact you. be in the no contact mode with him. be distant and give him the time and space to miss you
Sun Nov 15 2009 - 12:47 am
Geraldine, you might want to check out "Please Give Examples of Being A Goddess". It's a thread I started awhile back because I didn't have a clue how to act. It has helped so much and am still learning. I hope you find it helpful. :)
Tue Nov 17 2009 - 04:45 pm
How can missing condoms be your insecurity playing tricks on you?
You're in a delicate situation. It sounds like you need to communicate important things to him without it turning into a fight.
Now that you have a baby on the way to consider, you really need to figure out what you want in a partner. So often women jump into a relationship because of a "feeling" and then go down a path from which there is no turning back. Then one day, the same person who made them feel good make them feel helpless, abused, unappreciated and unloved.
It's more important than EVER that you figure your own head out first, regardless of this guy, and then start making decisions in accordance with what you and your child need. Don't let your beautiful unborn child be one more excuse for staying in a relationship that isn't good for you.
You've jumped in really deep, but it's never too late to turn around and start making decisions for YOU! You've got to do that mental work, though, or you are sailing the ocean with no compass and will always be lost.
Tue Nov 17 2009 - 05:11 pm
Can you elaborate on some details? Are you living together? How does he feel about the baby?
You say he just sits around the house on his PS3? Why? How old are you guys? Does he go to school?
How did you find out about the missing condoms?
Tue Nov 17 2009 - 09:00 pm
I'm curious whether the two of you have discussed how a pregnancy and its effects on your hormones will cause mood swings and extremes. Don't assume he will know that at times you truly cannot control it. There are counselors that will help explain and work through it, perhaps your doctor can refer you to one. The more he understands what you and your body are going through, the better he'll be able to deal with it.
And now the woman who has never been pregnant will stop giving advice on how it will affect your body lol.
Wed Nov 18 2009 - 04:53 am
Yes we are living together at the moment, his 17 and im 16 years old.
He doesn't attend school his getting towards his apprentership..
He didn't want the baby at first but he generally excepted the fact that we would work together.
Because i put them there in the first place... We havnt had sex or used them.. so to speak of just not feeling it at the moment with the baby inside of me.
Oh and i might just say to you don't judge me cause of my age.. If you see that as a problem. But i guess we all have our own belief's.
Wed Nov 18 2009 - 01:14 pm
No judgements Honey. But there is a different set of problems that goes with people your age as opposed to people older.
Where is the money coming from? Where are your parents? How do they feel about this? Are you still in school or have you put off your own education to have this baby?
What kind of support system do you have?
Are either one of you really ready for this?
I'm sorry Sweetie but it seems like you have bigger problems than a few missing condoms
Thu Nov 19 2009 - 11:29 pm
im living wih him and his parents im atending home schooling my mother and her bf is supporting us to the fullest and same with my partners father and his family. since im not at home im geting paid through centre link which is funding me since im still attending school.. i do home schooling i would never put off school.. ive just changed into the program so i'll be home for my baby. My partner is the type where he can't stand school can't conscerntrate so we discided on taking him on an apprentiship which he seems to be happy with, working with mac trucks so im happy for him.
so i think we just have our relationship to work on at the moment not how were living or how we get our income.. i plan to hav a job after this baby. after 6 months has gone past. i've attended numberess.. classers of birth classers to understand whats happening which i think i perfectly do now and now just preparing for the day my bub arrives.
But other then anything im just worried about the relationship bit with my partner we had another arguement the other day we pretty much broke up then the next morning we discided to giv it another go and give each other more space so were trying... i hate liers and i hate it when i know his lieing i don't bother confronting him since it seems to make matters worse.. he has a fit and walks off..
i don't like to play kiss chasing and im done with it so if we don't work things out properly this time im over and done with this relationship coz i honestly can't handle this ****.. even though it may just hurt since i know for a fact im in love with him and i know himself with me thats y its so hard to let go of each other. But then theres our inercent little buba that didn't ask for any of this and i plan to make sure that this babys father will be in every part of my bubs life.. cause i know it wouldn't be fare if i took this baby away from the father.
So it really is our relationship... We might be young... But we have our head screwed on even though where having a baby so young and when theres girls that are much older then me that would be terrified of this.. Im not giving up... and i hav a lot to think about... i just need a little advise from other women i dont know not the current friends ijust want to see if other women would say the same thing so thats why im asking for ur help so i can understand if its just all the same and if we just put up with the best partner when jenerally can have!
Fri Nov 20 2009 - 11:34 am
well, I certainly wish you the best. You have taken on so much and you sound very strong for your years. I am sure you will be a great mom.
Him, maybe not so much. It sounds like he is feeling trapped. There is a huge difference in the maturity level of a 17 year old boy and one who is 21 or 22. That 4 or 5 years doesn't sound like much but it makes all the difference at your age.
He does share this responsibility with you and he will be financially responsible for the baby. He is probably terrified, which he may or may not show outwardly. You sound like you do have a support system, which you should but who has he got? He has to grow up really quickly. So do you of course, but he deserves some compassion as well. He probably gets enough blame as it is for your situation.
Has he got someone to talk to about this? He may turn out to be a great dad, but he needs some help here.
Whether the two of you have a future together remains to be seen. He may step up but honestly, it isn't looking good
Fri Nov 20 2009 - 10:22 pm
he talks to his older sister which is like 21 and he talks to his father... which give him great advise and he talks to me when he finally can feel like he can get things out and he also talks to his friends.. im just starting to think i should give up on this relationship and just get my own life sorted for this child while he can have his freedom and wateva he wants cause obviously it just seems like he just wants to get out and if thats what he wants then he can have it. i told him to break up with me if he wants this to be over so many times, i've also told him to just let go and he can do wateva he wants with no drama just to make sure he keeps in mind his someones father.
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