Is it possible that the separation made you realize that you missed him and maybe felt more for him than you thought you did?

Then....after reconnecting....you want to feel that "love" that you know has always been there. When he is sarcastic and teases you, maybe it is making you insecure and wonder if that love is still there (now that you may be feeling it too???)

Well I think you may have hit the nail on the head. The German side of me is being stubborn and in denial, but I was thinking that was why:(. I did miss him. The teasing is pulling at my heart strings. I hate being sappy & feeling like mush. I feel like I don't have control of my emotions:(. I am in NC mode right now. He told me last night "you're being way too sensitive". He's right! I reamed him out for a stupid comment. I just responded with a "perhaps, but we all have our moments"....now I'm in NC. I haven't heard from him since my last text (last night). While I'm in NC, I need to pull it together. Advice on how to dwdnut?

I have a pretty packed, full, fun life, so I'm not sure what else to do...???

Sassy35,

It sounds like he isn't sure he wants to risk heartbreak again and so he's keeping his distance with sarcasm. If I were him, I would be hesitant too knowing how painful heartbreak can be. Plus he probably can't figure out why you're so sensitive now, but broke it off before. Seems like you have realized your romantic feelings for him. I feel for both of you! It might take time to balance out your emotions. After that, the two of you may be able to reason out your relationship.

It sounds to me like you are doing the right thing with the NC. At least for a little while.
Try to envision how the "old you" would handle this situation. Would she laugh it off and tease him right back? How long did you guys have NC in the past and was it normal for you to just contact him out of the blue after a few days?
If so, maybe do that. Give him a call in a few, make no mention of the "oversensitive" stuff and be your fun self! The one he fell in love with!
When you feel yourself starting to get insecure or sensitive, just hold back and count to 10 before you speak!!! Just Breathe!!! Remember the girl that he loves is still in there!! She just had a brain f@rt, that's all!!!

xoxox
'nuts'

Well. Let me ask...since he professed his love to me before is it ok (once I pull it together) to tell him I missed him or is this going against the rules and should I let him chase me even though i have crushed him before (more than once)? I do care for him and want him in my life...even if only a friend. He's a good man...

dwdnut thank you...you're right. Also about the "brain f@rts":)

Well if I told you what I did before you would probably wonder why he even talks to me!! I broke his heart a couple times and would disappear, then reappear a couple months later. He would always take me in and it would end with him telling me how happy he could make me if 'given the chance' blah blah. He courted me perfectly. The dates were always so sweet. He would take me out to do all my favorite things (yes he always listened to me talk so he knew what I liked). Use to cook me 5 course meals, etc. He was a true old fashion gent. He never stopped persuing me until I would tell him over and over to leave me alone. then he would back down until I contacted him a couple months later. Believe it or not, I would consider him an alpha male, but he def. developed into a softy with me-quickly.

Anyway, this past time, It has been about 6 months of NC from me. He faded out a few months back after numerous no repsonses from me. Six months has been the longest ever, so maybe things really have changed on his side.

The girl before told him she didn't want to talk on the phone, I would text him back sometimes, cancel dates, tell him he wasn't funny, a bad dresser, etc. I was awful. I swear I'm not an awful person, nor am I mean, but typing this out I sure sound mean!! i actally feel really bad about it now. He didn't effect me before though...and yes I would laugh it all off or just not comment! Ugh...my, my how things have changed. ha

Thanks again for the advice. I feel better just typing it all out. Maybe I don't need to open the flood gates on him now! Ha. Cliche, but true....we don't appreciate what we have until it's gone:(. I shall keep you posted. I'm going to go sit on my hands and far away from my phone!

Well, I am no expert at this, and hopefully some of the wise ladies will chime in here, but here's what comes to my mind:

How much thought have you put in to these new found feelings? If this guy truely has been in love with you for years, then I would be darn sure that you are ready to move forward with things before professing anything to him. Make sure it is not just that you missed him showering you with attention and love while he was gone. (which is totally understandable)

Even if you come to the conclusion that you do want to explore the idea of a relationship with him, then I would not come on too strong. The sudden change in direction could flip him out and send him packin!!!

I think I would just move slowly back into the place that you were before the period of NC. Let him lead. If and when you start 'feelin the luv' again, maybe in a fun, subtle way you could respond in a way that shows him you are feelin it too. The playful approach seems like it would work based on how you have described your relationship. It would not be scary or threatening to him. And, (in typical man fashion), he can feel that he did the chasing.

whadda ya think?

'nuts'

What do I think?

I think you're my voice of reason right now! I feel as I'm coming on way too strong (for me). Patience is not a strong quality of mine when my mind is focused. In out of fairness to him (and myself)...slow and steady is the best. If it's meant to be it will be, right?

Thank you 'nuts':). I will keep you posted.

I agree with dwdnuts, take a moment and reflect what is really going on.

I have been in this situation many many times in my life. A man who is head over heals in love with me, but knows he has no chance, so he ends up being my most loyal friend. It is a very convenient situation for a woman: he is always there for you and wants nothing back but just a chance to be in the same room with you.

You feel that you are being honest with him as he knows that you are not interested in him, you are not leading him on, so everything is perfect, everyone is a winner ;).

When the man’s feelings suddenly change, everything changes. You are not the queen bee anymore, and ouch!, it actually hurts and you want it back.

So just reflect whether you actually have true feelings for him or do you just miss being put on the pedestal and admired from a safe distance.

He contacted me! Not just last night, but tonight too. I'll just play it cool. I really don't want history to repeat, nor do I want to hurt him again. All of you are right...I could just miss him for he wrong reasons:(. I'll just play it cool & give it time...

Good.
Glad you are feeling better.
Glad he called and glad you are going to play it cool for a while...

xoxox
'Nuts'

Well...update. He came over last night to hang out. We hung out, caught up on life (talked), had a couple drinks at my place, then he took me out for a bite to eat. Ended the night with a kiss. This may sound crazy, but after 2 years I realize I love him. I'm snuggled up on my couch right now, with some soup, watching a movie, happy, but in total shock.

Sassy!!!

That is awesome!
Best news I have heard in ages!
I am smiling......(and that is a big deal for me today!!! ;-)

xoxoxo
'Nuts'

keep me posted!

Well guess what Nuts? Ever since that night he's been a little stand offish. I haven't said anything, nor have I initiated contact. He's been in contact all week, but he def. took a step back. I inturn backed off too. I just respond to his texts, but it's not like him not to keep trying to see me. Now my walls have gone up (something that I do often to protect myself). I will keep ya posted...:(