So frustrated
Wed Aug 26 2009 - 07:23 pm
Ive been dating my boyfriend, nick, for about 6 months now. He's in the navy and is pretty much away all the time. I live in NJ and hes in FL so i do fly down to see him occassionally. Let me rewind real quick.
Ive known him, well of him for a while and i used to pretty much hate him, but he came back from FL for vacation and we hit it off amazingly and he said all the dreamy things, as you could imagine and before i knew it we were dating and i was flying down to see him. Basically we didnt really have a strong foundation before he left so after he came back from his 3 month deployment he broke up with me for somelame reasons but i had already planned a roadtrip with my friend to come down. SO we met up and instantly the chemistry was there again and we were back together by the time i left. Now its been about 4 weeks since i left and he is being a complete jerk. When i had gone down we had literally talked for hours about our relationship and why he felt the need to breakup with me and the things he said broke my heart but they were ttoally understanding and i feel like we had gotten a lot closer and knew eachother better.We have also talked about marriage and so many other things beyond that. When i got home we would talk about every other day or so..and now he is completely ignoring me AGAIN. When i confronted him about his "game" he said "im in a relationship now and games shouldnt be played" and now hes back to messing with my head again. The way we get along is crazy, like when we're together its as if nothing was ever wrong in the first place but about 3 weeks after i leave, everything fades.
I have absolutely NO idea what to do.
Thu Sep 10 2009 - 03:37 pm
#2
yes we emailed back and forth all the time. for the first month he would email like twice a day then i wouldnt hear from him for days, but i understood he was busy. I told him all that i had done and i loved listening to his day and learning more about what he did. A week ago though we got into a huge fight and it wasnt pretty at all. He said he didnt want me or this relationship and it hurt, i havent talked to him since. Its been hard because ive but so much of my life on hold for him and have done so much and i kind of realized he had taken advantage of me, but i dont really know what to do now besides give him space
Thu Sep 10 2009 - 11:57 pm
#3
Space may be needed for now, may I ask what set the fireworks ablaze?
Fri Sep 11 2009 - 08:51 am
#4
Honestly, i hardly remember. He was intentionally ignoring me and it was really getting me mad and i straight up told him we need to talk now, so for like 2 hours we were yelling at eachother, just so i could get his attention because ive been trying to talk to him about something important and he's just been "preoccupied" and it built up and i finally exploded, its happened a couple times and this time he just sort of, gave up.
Fri Sep 11 2009 - 02:10 pm
#5
1
Sun Sep 13 2009 - 09:42 pm
#6
clabb...sounds about right hon. Give him space and utilize your space to rethink things. What you are looking for in a relationship and how you wish to be treated and also if there are things you can handle differently. Have you gone over to the break up thread yet? There is a lot of support over there, and it's not far, you can walk! ;)
Tue Sep 15 2009 - 10:49 am
#7
wierd how similiar some of our lives are!!! I agree with OLD, Oh little Darlin,, didn't mean to call you old. LOL When I finally realized I was worth so much more, I broke it off and had fun for a while. Met cool people and kept it light and social. I have learned how to "date" without getting too pulled in so quick. To detach I found a guy that didn't want a commited relationship, had fun for a few months and learned to just enjoy the time I am in. Keep your head up and don't let him keep playing the mind games.
Sat Sep 19 2009 - 05:04 pm
#8
steph11...you just hit on something I think may be the answer I'm looking for (for all women) on my new thread under "relationships" Oh crap, can't remember! HA! It's something like...How not to give up power after having sex..." you get the gist, the title's too long! lol. Would you please share what you think is the "key" to hanging on to our power?? :)
Sat Sep 19 2009 - 05:06 pm
#9
I think the word "detach" may be "key" to the answer for my thread.
back off! let him be the one to think for awhile. let me ask this, while he was away did you write him often?? very difficult for these military men! one of my sons is in the Navy and his then fiance' stopped writing to him and it broke his heart while he was out to sea in foreign waters! He now is married to someone else and has a beautiful relationship. but also being in the military can mess with his mind, worrying about where, when, what, his next deployment will be...survival and just the intense atmosphere of it all. please take this into consideration.