should i just take the step and ask him to move in with me?
Sun Sep 13 2009 - 11:44 pm
okay, my boyfriend is very commited. he has talked about moving in, he's wanted to move here for me (he lives 2 hrs away) and phones every night and comes here every week.
when he wanted to move here 6 months ago, i wasn't ready yet. i wasn't completely over my ex and we were only together 2 months. he had it worked out completely. he would buy a mobile home, live here, so that he could see me more often. i go to university and my summer jobs are sometimes far away so he said 'and if you move away for the summer, i can just hook my trailer up and move with you.' and then 1-2 years we can move in together.
like i said he had it completely planned out. i stopped him and he hasn't made any move since. i'm totally ready to move in with him and i wish he would move closer. he's told me many times that he doesn't want to live where he lives right now. (it's a little town and he wants to move to the city, where i live) i've talked to a lot of my guy friends and also my dad and they all have said the same. just tell him. i've had it drilled in my head not to make any moves, and let him make all the moves. but maybe he's waiting for me to make a move now? and he's not scared of commitment at all (i am more scared lol) and he wants it. so is it alright in this case to suggest moving in together?
Wed Oct 07 2009 - 10:28 pm
#2
Have you tried the "I really love being with you" and the "I love our time together; I feel so sad when we say our goodbyes together on Sunday night" comments? And if so, has he picked up on that yet?
It might be worth while to drop a few of those in first before you chat to him. Men can sometimes respond a lot better when they take the initiative. You are really just trying to encourage him to open up the discussion...
Hi horsecrazy
From your posts you sound like you're smart, you know your own mind and are happy in your relationship so I say go for it! Just make sure you discuss everything properly - especially financial issues and chores!- thoroughly before you take plunge.
In many circumstances I would say stick to the rules - let him make the moves. In my case I waited for bf to bring up the living together thing but that was partly because it was me moving in with him.
However there are always exceptions to a rule and I'd say yours is one of them. First, the subject has come up previously (he wanted to move in with you earlier) so it's not like it would be a massive shock. Second, as it would be him moving in with you it sort of makes sense for you to 'invite' him.
Just bring it up when you see/speak to him next...'Oh by the way, I was wondering what your thoughts are on you moving here...' and take it from there. Good luck!