scared...
Sun Sep 13 2009 - 11:49 pm
hi all, this is my first post, and im needing some support in dealing with my neurosis! im 30, professional in a very small town, without a lot of options for quality men with all their teeth.. doesnt bother me too much, i have great friends, im writing a novel yada yada.
met a guy this summer, and he didnt call after our first date back in july, so i let him slide (good girl). he called on thursday, asking if id have lunch friday, and we did.. picnic on the beach for 4 hours.. very kind, very genuine. he filled me in on whats been up for him and why he didnt call this summer. got home from our date and there was a message on my computer asking if id come hang out at his house on the beach today.. (i got home right now after spending the afternoon hanging out watching salmon spawn, look at bear tracks.)
he hasnt tried to kiss me, but nice hugs at the end of the dates. he's called them dates.. (referring to the pesto spinach pasta in our teeth as perfectly inappropriate date food, almost as good as crab). does he just want to be friends? if he likes me, wouldn't he have tried to get fresh, by now? (i feel like my point of reference might be skewed.. i need a new barometer. Help!)
im terrified. every time ive been into a guy ive gotten burned, badly. every time they seem to be into me, i freak out and bail on them. i dont know what to do. i like him a lot. i dont know if he likes me.. i dont know if as soon as i find out that he does, i'll bolt. am i insane?
we seem to have some really key things in common- politics, spirituality, simplistic way of life.. i dont know. im so scared. i feel like i'll be single for ever because i'll just keep screwing it up for myself.. i want to make change.
Ld~
Mon Sep 14 2009 - 09:43 am
Your fear is what is stopping you. Face your fears. Fear is the opposite of love. The two don't go hand in hand. You are what you think you are. If you have negative thoughts that you will get burned, guess what? YOu will get burned.
Mon Sep 14 2009 - 11:00 am
thanks robin! i was just journaling the exact same thing. (quote from 20 minutes ago.. I cannot live in love and fear simultaneously, what i give to others, i give to myself and vice versa..) i get so wrapped in the story, the feeling and anxiety, i forget the truth, the essence. i need to find a way to help myself return there. peace.
Tue Sep 15 2009 - 10:32 pm
Hi everyone. I need help. I have been in the NC rule now with my ex for 20 days. The 30 days is coming around quite quickly now. My next step supposibly is to give him a call, chat a little and ask him if he would like to go out for coffee next week on saturday etc etc. BUT, you cannot leave a message on the phone, just keep trying until he answers - 1 phone call per day or so. Except my ex ALWAYS has his home phone and mobile phone go to answering machine - so I need to leave some kind of message so that he will ring me back - or perhaps there is another otpion - can someone help me with this. Thanks girls.
xxx
Wed Sep 16 2009 - 07:45 am
Ms. LadyBird,
Lil me is confused, why are you contacting an EX if you are in no contact?
What is the purpose of NC to you and why are you NOT over at the NC thread, you trying to slip us a mickey?
Serious, why is it important to contact him after 20 days of him not contacting you?
Wed Sep 16 2009 - 11:58 am
ladybird,
You have many posts over there in no contact regarding your delima, you better hurry before they get lost, that thread averages about 80 posts per day.
Wed Sep 16 2009 - 12:00 pm
Ladybird,
The 30 day rule is not a golden. I read that book, its crazy! There are better ones if you want your ex back, but there are no guarantees. That book was written as a spin off of another one and it is marketed heavily.
Wed Sep 16 2009 - 08:20 pm
Who isn't SCARED? (love the thread)
What part don't we understand about NC... it means NO Contact.
Look, there are no parenting books or RULES to live by.
There are also no RULES to follow; only your heart and your soul.
It's scary when you don't have a scripted rule book that says THIS IS THE WAYS IT'S DONE. Get it?
Everyone has an opinion. It comes from family dynamics and other stuff...blah..blah..blah. Everyone's interpretation is different.
Everyone makes mistakes. All people are born GOOD.
So, if you THINK he is the ONL;Y ONE for you. Gues what? You are wrong...
Oh! My! I can't believe tht I am saying this ... in writing!
The TRUTH IS... that men are right, Love is a CONSCIOUS decison. Yup! That's the truth. And the sad truth is tht these stupic A$$es came up with it - out of default.
Scenario:
She's HOT but too much hard work, dude.
Hey, dumba$$, I dig (this one more) because she's more easy-going and I can drink a beer when I wanna.
I don't need that kinda crap in my life.
LIFE IS TOO SHORT!
Auds xoxox
P.S. Really - LIFE IS TOO SHORT? You are making your life short, short stop! IO deserve wht you deserve, nothing more and nothing less, SHORT STOP!
Whew! Have I vented for ya?
Thu Sep 17 2009 - 01:42 am
"Short Stop!" Now you're talking baseball!! lol
Thu Sep 17 2009 - 02:51 pm
darlin', what has gotten into me? I don't do sports! You are quite perspective...I mean perceptive. You got me allll discombobulated again:) All I know is the W-A-V-E. And perhaps that "Who's on first" skit.
Auds
xoxox
Thu Sep 24 2009 - 12:48 am
Definitely who's on first!!!
SHAME on YOU! A New Yorker and not a Yankee fan?! pppffffft!
Inspiration Story:
Connect w/ Paige
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