The Saga Continues...Episode 3: Invasion of Privacy

For those of you who have read my previous posts "Survey on Sexual Attraction" in the Dating forum, and "Sex and Attraction" in the Relationship forum, here is another fun chapter for you.

In brief, I have been dating a man who seemed really wonderful for about 2 months. My sexual attraction to him has been wavering from the beginning, partly because of burgeoning trust issues (his actions match his words less and less as we go along), and because of his weight.

But he seemed like a good, solid man with values, and we have a similar sense of humor, and he is kind and supportive, so I've been giving it a go.

Until....*tires screeching* last night.

Here's the story:

About a month ago, I was at his place, on his laptop, looking up directions to get somewhere on Google Maps. When I put in the address in the search box, up popped my parents' address back home. Which is 2000 miles away. I'm thinking, "What is my parents' address doing in his recently searched box in his Google Maps?" I had NEVER given him any old addresses of mine. And I had never been on his computer before. My blood ran cold for a second. I looked up other old addresses of mine. Other old addresses of mine popped up in his recently searched box of his Google Maps.

I turned to him and said, "Did you do a background search on me?" He said, "No, that's weird...it must be that when your Gmail is up on another tab, Google Maps remembers your old addresses on Windows Vista." Well, I don't have Windows Vista at home, and with no real way to test his theory, I just went along with it.

Until last night.

I was at someone else's house, and they had a Dell Computer with Windows Vista, like his. I looked up my Gmail and then Google Maps. My blood ran cold AGAIN when I discovered that in fact Google Maps DOES NOT remember your old addresses from years past. It only remembers what you type in.

I called a girlfriend of mine who has a Dell Laptop with Windows Vista and had her try it. Same result. It doesn't come up with old addresses.

So it hit me...not only must he have done a background search to get my old addresses, but he also looked up on Google Maps the locations of my old addresses, including my parents, who live in a different state. And then when I confronted him, he lied about it.

Why would he do that??? And furthermore, lie about it so smoothly as if it were nothing?

Honestly, in this day and age, it's not the background check that bothers me so much. There are so many liars and scammers and manipulators out there, that a background check probably isn't that bad of an idea.

BUT! To take the step to look up each of those individual addresses on Google Maps? And then lie about it? He could have at least admitted it when I caught him red-handed.

I confronted him about it today. He denied it vehemently, swore to prove it otherwise, and even said he was "shocked" and "offended" by my "accusations that he was a sick pervert and cyber-stalking me", words I did not use.

So then of course, I find myself thinking, did I overreact?

We also talked about several other issues that I've had with him, including his being very withdrawn and reclusive at social gatherings, and my friends telling me that when they try to talk to him, he is "unresponsive" and basically ignores them. I also brought up other times where his actions have not matched his words.

He said he felt "attacked" and denied and countered absolutely everything I brought up, even things I have seen with my own two eyes, such as him visibly withdrawing from social events and retreating in the corner by himself for hours. I explained I wasn't trying to attack him, but I had some serious doubts and trust issues with our relationship that I needed to get out in the open.

Opinions, ladies and gents? I would love your input, as I didn't officially break it off yet, but we are talking tomorrow night again about it. Have I overreacted?