ROBIN?? AUDREY?? WISE WOMEN?? Mixed Signals - I'M CONFUSED
Fri Nov 13 2009 - 08:09 am
Hello to all the beautiful and fabelous women out there!
I really need your help - I'm falling very hard and very fast in love with someone.
Something that never happens (I'm a very strong women and don't ever let a man control my emotions) and I feel desperate. I can't get him out of my head! Now I feel so weak for feeling this way about him. It's like he put a spell pn me or something..
Anyways, I met him through my best male friend (who I live with). They are like brothers.
When we first met it was like I was hit by thunder (I can't believe I'm describing it this way, I'm way into deep) he stayed in our appartment because he had to be in town for work first thing in the morning so we went out for a drink and had so much fun! We have a lot in commen!
When we got back we kissed and the attraction was SO THERE but I didn't want to ruin anything so he went to sleep in the living room and I slept in my room. In the morning he knocked on my door and brought me coffee, said he wanted to say Goodbye and kissed me on my forhead and left.
The next evening he called me and told me he asked our friend for my number, we talked for about an hour and he asked me out on a date.
Two days later we went on a date and it was so much fun!
We had a drink and went for walk in the city. Laughed alot and he couldn't stop compliment me all the time. Saying how awsome I am and how much fun he has with me.
When we got home we listened to some music (we are both artists) and talked and we ended up together all night.
We didn't have sex or anything besides kissing. We fell asleep in each others arms.
I have to shed some light on his past though, getting to this point.
He just broke up with his ex, 2 months ago, they've been together for 3 years. My friend told me they loved each other but broke up because they had fights all the time.
Anyway, we kept contact after that night but it was mostly from my part and he had to cancel our plans twice bcause he just got a new house and was moving out and in his new appartment.
I thought the reason was that he just wanted sex and didn't get it and was to much of a little boy to say it straight in my face. So I deceided not to contact him anymore, or text or call back.
But suddenly he called me saying he was sorry he had to cancel and that he still very much wanted to see me.
I said I was busy and that I couldn't because I was mad at him.
Now two days ago (it's been more then week I haven't seen him) my friend trew a party and of course HE WAS THERE!
I kind of ignored him so he came to say Hey and gave me a kiss.
I immidiatlly fell like I was raised up to heaven (HAHA) Damn him!
So after the party at home we all went out. The group we were with took the car and he offerd to give me a drive to the club on on his motor, so we went together.
It was perfect and we had a great time till things started to get intimate again. We were making out all over the club (I couldn't help myself - that thing between us was just to strong).
And of course we ended up at my place. Had sex for 3 hours non stop and every other 30 minutes! It was the craziest night in my life!
The next morning we had breakfast together and just laid together, talking and having sex (OMG).
Then he gave me a ride to work, lots of kissing and hugging and went home...
Now even that I had had the most amazing sex in history! I'm still mad at myself that I couldn't hold it in. I lost all self control with him. And all he had to do was jus look at me.
I was afraid he won't call or anything at all and that after getting what he wanted, lost all intrest.
But the next day he sended me a messeage ''I wish you a perfect weekend sweetheart!'' (He went up north for the weekend to spend time with his family).
What does this mean?? And what should I do? Send him something back or call? I'm not sure what he wants from me...
We had a great time but he isn't over his ex yet, I think.
Maybe I'm just over reacting but if so the I just wanted to share my story with ya'll.
Thanks!
xxx
Fri Nov 13 2009 - 09:54 am
#2
WR, I'VE GOT A CRUSH ON YOU(Linda Ronstadt) is playing in the background as we speak.
Your relationship sounmds so yummy up to the..."shed some light" part. EYES OPEN b/c love is blind!
He was in love with another woman and they had a relationship for three years. But they were not on the same page - they had fights all the time.
WHAT DID THEY FIGHT ABOUT? ...
You need to ask him what's important to him in order to have a healthy relationship. (no mention of HIS former relationship)
Ding! Ding! Ding! Here's where you screwed up:
I said I was busy and that I couldn't because I was mad at him.
You went to say that after that party you made a choice:
Had sex for 3 hours non stop and every other 30 minutes! It was the craziest night in my life!
That's your CHOICE.
You asked:
What does this mean??
This means that he is a mature, responsible MAN.
And what should I do?
You should act like a mature, responsible WOMAN
Send him something back or call?
Nothing wrong with mirroring him with a reply in kind.
Use different words: Say, thank you, (name). I hope you have an excellent weekend too!
I'm not sure what he wants from me...
he sounds like he's taking things slow and doing it properly this time, from my POV. The man in him is missing sex, of course.
TAKE IT SLOW...
We had a great time but he isn't over his ex yet, I think.
YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. So, stop reading something into it:)
Maybe I'm just over reacting...
MAYBE
but if so the I just wanted to share my story with ya'll.
VERY GOOD:))))
Auds
xoxox
Fri Nov 13 2009 - 09:53 am
#3
Thanks for your comments!
hahaha Audrey omg.. you are harsh but in a good way.
Gues syou are right. normally I do act mature only since i've known him a feel like a little girl again. Like all excited and stuff. don't know what is happening to me!!!!!!!!!!
Anyways. I did reply like you said... polite, not to much.
I'll try and hold myself in. I feel so stupied thinking to much.
So thanks again!
Fri Nov 13 2009 - 02:28 pm
#4
Woman, I LOVE HARD! I don't do love ya..or luv... I mean what I say.
I don't mean to be harsh... I just analyze what you write..step by step... so that I (and you) see wherein the problem lies.
Certainly didn't mean to hurt your feelings. No! No!
This forum wouldn't be what it is if we did that, now would it?
We are open, honest, incredibly.... Goddess
We call each other (secretly) and then we share that we've spoken.
We are truly one-of-a-kind...
HARSH!?!... is so, well, harsh.....LMAO
Now get me a tissue, will ya ~
Auds
xoxox
Fri Nov 13 2009 - 06:34 pm
#5
OK SO I WANT A FOLLOW UP!?!?!?
Sat Nov 14 2009 - 04:17 am
#6
Hey partygirl1722,
You need a follow up about the situation or about my relations with audery haha!
Anyways, yesterday he send me that text messege and I send him something back. Short but friendly.
I shouldn't contact him anymore right? Or is it oke for me to call him if I haven't heard from him in, say, 3 days?
Anyways just wanted to let you know that I'm not sitting waiting by the phone (no matter how freaking much I WANT HIMMMM!)'Cause I've got a date with someone on Monday.
XD
Sat Nov 14 2009 - 05:35 am
#7
I think it is best if you don't call him but wait (not by the phone :) for him to call you.
Sat Nov 14 2009 - 07:34 am
#8
I think you need to let him call you. I recently went through the same thing. The attraction was there, the sex was mindblowing but he was recently divorced/separated and still living with the ex-wife after 8 years together. I was crazy about him and he did all the right things. Then poof! he was gone.
It's a wonderful feeling to have a man want you and tell you you're amazing. I can hear my ex guy in my head saying this to me. But it's been a month and I haven't seen him.
So be careful. Let him CALL you, don't get into letting him think texting is okay (if it's not) because that's all he will do. And try to control the little girl feelings, especially when he is around because that might scare him away.
Good luck!
Sat Nov 14 2009 - 02:54 pm
#9
WomenRule...hmmm what is your name again, "Women Rule". No contact sweetie. He was wishing you a great weekend letting you know he cares for you and though didn't ask a question, so no need to respond. That message you give him will be she is toatally cool. :)
Sat Nov 14 2009 - 03:16 pm
#10
Oh little darin is right! He will think you'll a cool chick by not bugging him every minute.
Sun Nov 15 2009 - 08:32 am
#11
OKAY then I'm COOL 8)
It's been two days since that messege though.. How much longer should I wait untill I through him out of my "list"?
I mean, I can't wait forever...
A friend of mine who knows him told me it was oke to send him a little messege tomorrow night if he doesn't contact me till then.
Just saying "Hey and how was your weekend?" kinda thing. Because he is kinda shy and does look for a little encouragment. At least, that was what I've been told.
What do you think about that? Bad idea ha??
Sun Nov 15 2009 - 08:34 am
#12
*trow him hehe
= not see him as a possibilty anymore.
Sun Nov 15 2009 - 11:24 am
#13
Don't text him or all him. Match his level of commitment. If you text or call him it shows him you are more commited than he is. So not cool. Lil darlin is right! Point your friend that gave you that advice to this forum.
Sun Nov 15 2009 - 11:45 am
#14
hey Robin! well, the general rule here is a phone call after a night((and morning) of great sex(first time). nothing heavy of course but a text is not appropriate. if i was a woman i wouldn't reply either.
Mon Nov 16 2009 - 04:29 pm
#15
Omg he called me and we're going out tonight :))
It was worth waiting!!
Thanks guys :X
Mon Nov 16 2009 - 07:17 pm
#16
glad to hear that womenrule...enjoy but be careful!
Thu Nov 19 2009 - 09:04 am
#17
Oke this was the weirdest thing ever.
We went to this bar, nice place. We walked there and it was like 40 min. walk and it was really fun, he held my hand & kissed me on my cheek all the time. So then we arrived and we drank and talked and suddenly the conversation became very personal, somehow, he found out about some private things in my past (that made me very careful with men and made me a person who never shows their true feelings - kind of, to protect myself) and he told me more about his past relationship (they broke up more then 4 months ago and not 2, like I thought) then he started telling me how he thinks I'm looking for something serious and that he doesn't see us together, having something serious :| I never acted like I wanted it (was always easy going and relax - just had fun and never even started about this kind of things) I don't even want it right away, I just want to keep dating him and have fun and getting to know him more. But obviously he reads me like an open book... damn it.
Then we went to my place. Didn't let him drive home because we both drank pretty much. We didn't have sex of course! But he did sleep with me in the same bed again. He was all over me. Kissing and holding me but he didn't try to have sex. Actually, he was the one who didn't want it.
I told him that: If it wouldn't be anything serious anyways and we won't be seeing each other anymore, we might as well just do it. And that's exactly how I felt because of what he told me at the bar.
But he said he didn't want it to be the last time he'll see me.
He said: So you're saying that if I won't sleep with you now, I'll get to see you again!? Then I won't sleep with you because I DO want to see you again and I DO like you very much and care about you.
So we didn't have sex and the next morning he gave me a ride to work and asked me if we'll be seeing each other again. And I was like, maybe...
I don't know what it is he wantsssss!!!!
Long story short; he sends me mixed signals. Very mixed.
Totally confusing.. I don't know what to do.
Can you girls read into this??
PS. he keeps calling me and ask me when he'll see me again etc. and we talk every day. Yet that little thing he said that night (thinking we couldn't get serious) bothers me. Does his actions speak louder then his words in my case???? Do I need to run and hide or just relax?
Thu Nov 19 2009 - 09:10 am
#18
Good Morning Women Rule,
It is happening to you because you are allowing it to. When a man tells you he feels you two couldn't be serious, believe him, he means it. He continues to be nice because although he wants to graze in other fields, he still wants to make sure you keep the gate open because you are one of the fields he would like to graze in.
You can continue to keep the gate open and accept his occasional grazing or you can simply close it. If you think he might be a keeper and you would like to have more with this man, I would suggest closing the gate for now. Let him go grazing and find out you grass is in fact the greenest. Men are farsighted, they see you clearer when you are in the distance. Down the road he may come back. If you accept his crumbs though when he clearly told you he could not be serious, you will lower you value in his eyes.
We as women want them now now now. It does not always work out in our time. They usually come back around in time and when he does that will be you opportunity to do a check and see if anything has changed with him and lay your boundaries down.
Thu Nov 19 2009 - 09:32 am
#19
Thank you so much Robin!
I really like this man and whenever we are together we have an awsome time and the chemistry is by far the greatest then I've ever had with any man since my last serious relationship.
I understand that it's hard for him to jump into something serious right away after a relationship that meant alot to him.
That's why I'm not pushy towards him (eventhough deep down inside I do want it very badly) - Neither do I talk ''serious'' because I don't want to make him run for his life or make him think I want to be married in a month. It's hard to keep distance and still not seem unintressted. It's almost an art.
I do not nag or bother him and let him come to me instead.
But you're right, maybe I should close the gate and see how he'd response to that. We did have sex once but I won't do it again with him until I'm sure he is ready to commit.
Anyways, thanks :)!
Fri Nov 20 2009 - 11:52 am
#20
Robin, can I adopt you?
Fri Nov 20 2009 - 02:15 pm
#21
HAHA! Yeah I want my own personal Robin too!
Fri Nov 20 2009 - 02:22 pm
#22
SHE'S MINE!!! Wite, Wobs:)))
Audsie
xoxox
Fri Nov 20 2009 - 02:24 pm
#23
Awwww.yall make me feel so warm and fuzzy. You can all adopt me, just pay my bills ok?
Fri Nov 20 2009 - 02:38 pm
#24
I don't mind paying your bills, your food and internet if you'd keep giving me personal advice every now and then. ;) .... XD
By the way I think your method worked faster then I'd thought it will.
My man came, to my surprise, to pick me up after work for cofee.
He said he just wanted to see me and asked if I was available next weekend.
So I asked why and he said he'd love me to come with him, up north, for the weekend. To his home town.
I said I'd love to but have to check things out and I'll get back to him.
Now I'm sort of starting to understand where he is coming from and that's an improvment...
Feel like I'm controling it now and I won't make any mistakes this time! NO WAY!
How's your love life??
Fri Nov 20 2009 - 02:42 pm
#25
I met a MAN NAMED MIKE. He is a dream boat.
Robin take a peek at this morning's angel cards that I posted.
Take a look at sexy Rochelle PROBABLE OUTCOME.
So, guess what happened today?
Come on... YOUR JACKPOT, GF.
I told you...
I will get that money. No two ways about it:)))
I already have gotten IT this morning... it takes a little bit of time... but MIKE called me and told me.
You will be able to take care of those bills and more:)
Does that mean that I get first dibs on you???
Auds
xoxox
Fri Nov 20 2009 - 02:47 pm
#26
WOMAN!?! WHAT! did you write?...LMAO
You need a follow up about the situation or about my relations with audery haha!
relations with Audrey???? There will be no relations with Audrey.
Audrey is a lady NOT a laidy.
Auds
xoxox
Fri Nov 20 2009 - 02:55 pm
#27
HAHA Yeah well, that was a little misunderstanding right there ....
Hope that the only relations you'll have will be with your dream boat Mike. Well at least if he is a real gentelman, cause that's what a real LADY like you deserves ;)
Goodluck Auds!
xxx
Fri Nov 20 2009 - 05:50 pm
#28
Audsie...who is this MIKE guy and can you fill me in? Is there a new "one" and is it promising???
Guard you heart. 2 months is not very long after a 3 year relationship. That makes you the rebound. The rebound usually gets left. A man recently out of a relationship will search for a replacement, sometimes more than one. They can come on very strong. It can feel so great. Then one day he wakes up and realizes he has not been single in a long long time. He wonders what else is out there. He has to find out. I am sure there are exceptions to the rule here, but very few.