Post Date gitters!!
Hi, am I being stupid?
I met a guy in a bar a couple of weeks ago. That night he asked me out to dinner and we fixed a date for 2 weeks time (my planning - thought I would see how he behaved in the run up to it). Unfortunately, due to a whole host of complicated reasons including swine flu! that had to be cancelled. We eventually met for lunch on Wednesday for lunch. It was comfortable and he was very open with me about his recent break up and his previous lifestyle (hes been in the navy!)
On the lead up to the date he called or text everyday. Hes not into major conversations but just checked in as I saw it.
During the date he asked me about my previous relationship and why had it ended, grew apart? another woman?. Without really thinking I said 'because he's an asshole!'. He laughed and then asked if there had been DV involved. (There has and my address has a DV flag on it incase I need to call the police - of which he is one, but in another county, so he may have checked this before he met me, although he said that they arent allowed). He then went on to say that I come across as a really independent and 'sorted' person who knows what she wants. (Without him knowing it, this was probably the best compliment he could have paid me, because I very definitely didnt feel like that after I kicked my ex out!!)
After the date he sent me a text saying that he must have been drunk when he met me because Im even nicer than he remembered.
Then he sent a flirty message in response to something I had text in innocence. I said LOL - now Im scared!!
I havent heard from him Thurs or Friday so I sent a text last eve asking how his day had been. He said sh** afraid. When I asked why he said im at work, tell you later. But I havent heard anything from him since. Now im writing this, I realise that the timescale is short adn I prob shouldnt worry.
He sort of suggested we get together Mon or Wed of next week, but nothing firm has been planned. Actually, I didnt send a firm response to this text cos I was worried about appearing too eager.
Im worried that the Domestic Violence thing may have put him off, or rather he has interpreted my 'im scared' too literally and associated it with my past - although it doesnt mean that at all. The dangers of texting I suppose.
Any advice anyone?
Do I text to see if his day is any better? - he's working nights yesterday, today and tomorrow.
:-/
Hi Clareb - hun let him come to you and if he is interested he will really, distract yourself .. believe you are a great person and if he doesnt then is his loss!!!
Do not txt him at all - re-read dwd or get the book
good luck
jackie x
Easy to give advice, not easy sometimes to follow it but I say stay busy.
And you know, my freind tells me this and it may seem cold so bare with me.............I dont want to sound crass but an old saying in my circle is "there are plenty more where he came from". Just believe you deserve the best and let the rest weed themselves out my dear. I am starting to believe that if there is a connection (being we handle the situation right.....and allowing each other room for mistakes depending on what they are of course)it takes off on its own. That is my thought anyway.
AND dont forget Paige also says it is normal for some pulling away to occur throughout.


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