porn
Tue Oct 27 2009 - 09:53 am
I was previously married for a very long period of time and the relationship was very non-sexual, so i don't have much experience with this. I now have been in a committed 2 year relationship. We are very sexually compatable, have very open dialogue about fantacies, beliefs, etc. and a very active sex life which we consider to be very healthy and happy. My question is this: He has always been drawn to porn. We some times watch adult movies together. A friend gave him a DVD which he showed me and it is in our "toy bag", but there are times I know he watches internet porn when I am not around. Part of me is kind of wierd about this and another part of me says to be a big girl about it, it's normal guy stuff. Should I continue to just know and let it go and be happy with what we have?
Tue Oct 27 2009 - 10:26 am
I would start to become concerned when it interferes with your time together or he can't get excited without it.
Ya guys like porn. But they can also become addicted to it. Do you feel it is excessive or are you just feeling insecure?
Tue Oct 27 2009 - 11:00 am
I have just never experienced this before. It definitly does not interfer with our time. He is very creative and expressive and I know he incorporates some of the things ( positions/scenarios) into our love making so it definitly never gets boring. I can also say we / he definitly does not need it to get excited. Our sex life is very active and healthy. I guess I might be a bit insecure...not sure. Like I said, part of me says to just let it go, let him have his 20 minutes here and there when I'm not around, but the visual in my mind kind of bothers me, although when we're together watching these movies some times, it's all good.
Tue Oct 27 2009 - 11:31 am
20 minutes here and there of looking at naked women is no big deal. Men like to look at pictures of naked women. The last thing you want to do is get all jealous and insecure when there is no threat.
Believe me, you are beautiful enough and sexy enough and it sounds like he wants YOU, the whole you and not some 2 dimensional chick on his computer screen.
It is one thing to look--When you see a hot guy in tight jeans and a t shirt do you look? Do you drool over Brad Pitt,George Clooney (insert your favorite celeb crush du jour) in the movies? Does that mean you want to dump your bf? Of course not.
Tue Oct 27 2009 - 01:38 pm
Well, I think there is a HUGE difference between thinking some one is attractive and watching people have explicit sex and masturbate to it, but I get your point. I also know, or he tells me I am very beautiful and even gets turned on when other guys hit on me or compliment me, because he knows I go home to him. So your right, worrying or freaking about a dimensional "flick" should not be of a concern. Thanks so much for your views!
Tue Oct 27 2009 - 01:42 pm
glad we could help
Tue Oct 27 2009 - 09:20 pm
I like porn and watch it (I am a girl), and it has nothing to do with who I like or how much in a relationship.
Mon Nov 02 2009 - 03:52 pm
So your saying watching and getting off on porn alone is no reflection on the relationship?
Mon Nov 02 2009 - 04:01 pm
It depends. If it is not excessive--if he prefers you over the porn you are probably fine. If you are not bothered by it or enjoy it yourself, then there shouldn't be a problem.
Mon Nov 02 2009 - 05:18 pm
When it starts to effect the relationship is when it becomes a problem (period).
effecting the relationship could come in many different variables too..
1. one person enjoys and the other has Moral and value problems with it.
2. One gets addicted and can't function in the real world anymore.
Just a couple examples....
But,
If you still have a great sex life and it doesn't bother you that your significant other enjoys it. And or you enjoy it together...than it sounds like you are fine.
xoxoxxoxoxo
Mon Nov 02 2009 - 06:09 pm
Correct - porn and the relationship are mututally exclusive. The relationship always takes priority of course, but at times when I am not in a relationship, porn is enjoyable to watch. I also enjoy watching it with a partner when I am in a relationship.
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