And another one:

http://www.ted.com/talks/helen_fisher_tells_us_why_we_love_cheat.html

Wise,

This thread really needs to be under "catching up w/ friends" category so it does not get lost. Can you transfer it there?

Will comment on links as I watch them. Thought I could print them out for later, but looks like I have to watch them....sounds great though! I love it!

There are also many astronomy, physics and chemical concepts that can apply to our dating life. I'll post a few when I craft them....

This is going to keep me busy.

I've been working out a theory w/ Linnie re. (computer) systems and ways to identify from external events (symptoms) what is really happening inside the system. Linnie's Ph.D. work when applied to relationships. Gotta find the e-mail where we expounded on this....this is great stuff.

Linnie, from one geek goddess to another, if you are out there and can find the e-mail before me, post that section please. This theory has soooo much promise for our relationships.

SZ

Some talks on happiness:

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/nancy_etcoff_on_happiness_and_why_we_w...

http://www.ted.com/talks/martin_seligman_on_the_state_of_psychology.html

http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html

Interesting what Gilbert says about freedom of choice being the enemy of the synthetic happiness. I suppose this is an underlying factor on why so many people cannot really be happy with what they've found (especially in the internet dating context, I was thinking about Smartblonde's story when I was listening to that).

Talk about not having any boundaries!!!! So much to talk about here, dating parasites, stuck to you like glue, can't get away from them....

Anglerfish, a deep sea fish named for the spiny appendage on its head that it uses as bait to "fish" its prey, has an unusual mating habit. As it spends its time in the bottom of the ocean, finding a mate is a problem – but the species solved this evolutionary challenge beautifully.

At first, scientists were perplexed because they’ve never caught a male anglerfish. Also, all female anglerfish have a lump on their body that looks like a parasite. Only later did scientists discover that the lump is the remain of the male fish.

The tiny male anglerfish are born without any digestive system, so once they hatch, they have to find a female quickly. When a male finds a female, he quickly bites her body and releases an enzyme that digests his skin and her body to fuse the two in an eternal embrace. The male then wastes away, becoming nothing but a lump on the female anglerfish’s body!

When the female is ready to spawn, her "male appendage" is there, ready to release sperms to fertilize her egg.

EEEUuuuu! A real barfly....doesn't even need to be sitting nearby!

The Argentine lake duck may be small, but don’t take pity on it. See, the drake (male duck) of the lowly fowl has the longest pen1s of any bird species in the world.

From head to tail, the Argentine lake duck measures about 17 inches. That also happens to be the length of its corkscrew-shaped pen1s when stretched out. The tip of the pen1s is soft and brush-like, which the drake uses to brush away sperms deposited by a previous suitor.

University of Alaska Kevin McCracken explains that the ducks are promiscuous, and the long pen1s may be an evolutionary adaptation for the males to become more attractive to the females. That, and the drake also uses his pen1s to "lasso" a female who tries to escape from it.

We've all known guys like this too.....shows you in fact which head actually rules.....

The insect mating game can also be deadly. At the sight of a female, a male praying mantis freezes in place. He gradually but cautiously moves toward her. Then he jumps on her and begins to mate. During mating, the female may twist around, bite off the male's head and eat it! The male mantis continues mating even though his head is gone!

This is absolutely unbelievably priceless!!!! Keep the stories coming, szstudio52. I think it puts our little trials and tribulations into perspective.

Everybody, join in!

Uh...Wise.

There are not too many geek goddesses out there. We are unusual, I'm sure. It's an acquired taste....being a utterly hopeless science nerd.

But I'll keep 'em coming....I have lots more.

(I'm so embarrassed...but I just love this stuff!)

SZ

I don't think it is embarrassing in the slightest.

It is so helpful to share one's problems with other woman. But there is something very encouraging to know that mammals, birds, reptiles, amphibians, fish, corals, crustaceans, mollusks, insects, maybe even brown algae, mushrooms and lichens have their ups and downs in their love life too and they still persit. How life-affirming is that!!!

Another relationship sniglet from my list....with a nerdy scientific tint.

influoresting -adj 1. very strongly attractive in a captivating way.

"Physically and mentally he was very, very influoresting to her."

This word was derived from a typo in one of my bf's e-mails, early on in the relationship. He told me I was "inflersting." I took this as a compliment, but told him he had made a typo. I think what he really meant to write was that I was "influoresting".... a sniglet derived from the fluorine atom, the most electronegetive atom on the periodic chart. Easily able to steal outer electrons (e-) from less electronegetive atoms (ie. Li, lithium) to form extremely strong ionic bonds.

I was influorested in that engineer, that's for sure. No Lie-!

Don't think that male mantis thought his love life was very life affirming....hee hee!

Just out of interest, what field are you in, SZ?

I am in hearing in neonates.

It's a good thing we are way over here off the beaten path....

You don't think that other 'kids' will pick on us because we are hopeless nerds? LOL

I'm a chemist and also heavily into the industrial hygiene field (human toxicology of industrial chemicals.) I work in a materials engineering laboratory making space aged materials...self healing plastics, piezoelectric materials that bend when a current is applied, or generate current when they are bent, paints that prevent computer signals from passing through, plastics that can be used at over 750 F, really neat stuff goes on in my building.

Most of our materials are organic (carbon based) but my bf is a structural steel engineer...the old composite materials vs metals, organic chem vs inorganic chem, synthetic vs mined conversations abound. We have soooo many things in common...not!

When I was first out of school I was working on a project with a woman who was studying the growth of calcium sulfate crystals (similar to otoliths, used for balance) in the rhopalia of jellyfish in zero gravity. That is similar (on an invertebrate level) to neonatal hearing development, isn't it?

Heck. My OWN kids pick on me (and my bf!) for being hopeless nerds. Yep. A little sensitive in public arenas....yep, yep, yep.

Back to the topic at hand....

...For a while, zookeepers had trouble getting pandas raised in captivity to breed. In fact, male and female pandas showed little interest in s3x – that is until someone at the Chengdu Giant Panda Breeding and Research Base in Sichuan Province, China, had the bright idea of showing them panda p0rn!

Now, when pandas reach adulthood, zookeepers there show them steamy videos of panda s3x as part of their initiation rites.

Well, ladies!!! I LOVE nerds! In fact, if I wasn't so ADD, I'd have probably been one myself. I've found your li'l fun segue pretty darn fascinating...everything is relative!

...Banana slug, the beloved mascot of UC Santa Cruz, has a weird mating habit. First of all, they have an enormous pen1s. (In fact, their latin name dolichyphallus translates to "giant pen1s.") The average size of a banana slug pen1s is 6 to 8 inches. This is incredibly impressive, considering their entire body length is 6 to 8 inches as well!

Banana slugs are hermaphrodites, so two slugs will try to fertilize each other. To mate properly, a slug must choose a mate roughly its own size – if it miscalculates, its pen1s will get stuck during c0pulat1on.

This isn’t just an embarrassing faux pas, the other slug will actually bite off the stuck pen1s, a term scientists euphemistically called "apophallation."

"And it cuts like a knife....but it feels so right!"
Bryan Adams "Cuts Like a Knife"

...Here’s chivalry for you: the male bedbugs don’t even bother with the female’s s3x organs. Instead, a male bedbug uses its scimitar-like s3xual organ to impale the female bedbug’s body and deposit his $perm!

Scientists even have a cute name for this sort of thing: "traumatic insemination." Ouch!

Good for you, you are a proper scientist, I am a phony as I come from a very clinical background and am primarily interested in making a difference in patients' life that is considered somewhat uncool these days :).

Yes, (re: jellyfish) SZ, as they used to say: ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny :).

I adore your panda porn story. What a wondrous world we live in!

Our little romantic hiccups seem nothing compared to that of the banana slugs.

Wise,

"...ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny."

As long as it doesn't involve misogyny! Hee hee.

SZ, Ducks ARE promiscuous, I know.
Former BF (Puhtuieee!) had a corkscrew-shaped penis he wasn't a duck he just had a motorcycle accident... or was it an "accident"???

"Small" men drive large cars. that's all I know:)
Auds
xoxox

LOVE-LOVE-LOVE Bryan Adams, sista!

Wise and SZ, when we meet up one day we'll have to get popcorn and watch all that animal porn. Oh what a night!

"apophallation." - So, Bobbit was actually a-pop-hall-ated, interesting!
Auds
xoxox

This thread is getting wild! I am literally laughing like a hyena :)

'Former BF (Puhtuieee!) had a corkscrew-shaped penis he wasn't a duck he just had a motorcycle accident... or was it an "accident"???'

Oh, Auds, this is incredible!!! Was it any good? Thinking purely anatomically, this would be an enormous advantage. No? As long as it had maintained its normal size...

I probably have to go to sleep (I am based in the UK, remember), I will have wild dreams about corkscrew-shaped penes...

OMG, this site is just absolutely crazy!!! I suddenly cannot even remember that I stumbled on it because I was heart-broken. Thank you all, you lovely ladies, you are so incredibly funny and cool!!!

Good night! xx

I really need to plan for a trip to the States. Auds, any thoughts?

Yes wise, I have thoughts.... BOOK IT, BABE!
And stick that SM in your suitcase, will ya?

Come see my Holiday Tree or that TREE in the City - then Kat and (I forgot) and you and me can do the City one day.

Audsie
xoxox

std...DANG!!!! lol

Male Seahorses give birth.

This is better than Sex in the city!!

Darlin'... it is Sex and the City! And... his damn Tiffany pearls.
Auds
xoxox

WISE:

Canada is where it's at. :) Book a trip here !

We Canucks have all the "scents" of sex... odours... LOL that have nothing to do with poor hygiene LMAO
(private joke under Understanding Men... Confidence or Insecurity)

I guess it comes with a perpetual cold Winter.... what else is there to do but sniff each other and.... do what comes natural ?? LOL

Wise,

Sorry to go on and on about the science but what saucymomma is describing may (at least partly) have to do with the production of 'specialised' pheromones called copulins that have a specific smell. When a man smells a dash of copulins, his testosterone levels rise and you all know what happens then... ;).

So nothing to do with hygiene at all, just nature's way of signaling to males that you are ready to be fertilised :).

Any thoughts on if this odour/scent changes if one smokes?

I have taken up that habit due to a recent hearbreaking nasty breakup. I smoke 2/3 per day so not that heavy into it.

Am wondering if scents change with habits like this ?

I want to get back to the "nice powerful" scent that my male friend said I have. Wondering if I have changed that scent due to smoking? (haven't seen the friend yet to test this out haha)

If that's the case and YES scents change due to smoking, that is enough incentive to me TO STOP !!! :)

Hi saucymomma

It is my understanding that everything, smoking, even what we eat will impact the smell. So if you want to increase your pulling power, healthy life-style is a way to go :).

It probably all makes sense, all this sexual selection is an evolutionary mechanism to facilitate choosing healthy partner to mate with in order to produce healthy offspring.

Please let me know if you are organising any gathering in North America, even though I am based in the UK, with a little bit of time to plan, I would really like to book a trip and meet with the DWD goddesses.

Darn right we're planning a GET TOGETHER.

Toronto, right girls? hehehe

Some time in the spring when the weather is nice :)

Yes, please count me in. I have never been to Toronto, I hear it is gorgeous. I am originally from a cold snowy country, I don't mind any weather :).

"Buddha 2,500 years ago.....said that when we learn to accept things as they are we find happiness. When we cease to strive for happiness in the future we find it in this moment. Getting what we want doesn't make us happy, being happy with what we have does. Craving causes misery, acceptance and peace makes us happy."

In respose to Dan Gilbert's "why are we happy?"

I think this is one of the biggest problems in dating. "Puzzled" created a thread on 'why "the one" is no fun' in which we discussed this topic. I have personally met several men who it seems will never be happy because they are always looking for the next best thing and fear that if they "choose" that they may possibly be missing out on "the one". (ie: something better....craving and striving for an unrealistic 'perfection' that they have created in their mind)

Very interesting.
THanks, Wise.
(we all have a little 'geek' in us ;-)

Oh! And all this time I thought they were having Sex IN the City...lol Can't sleep, gotta go to bed!

Having a really complex day, but had just a minute to add this gem to the thread.
*************************************

Another great one.... Ouch! I've always said "if males could give birth then...." Hadn't thought about this problem.

...Female hyenas wear the pants in the family. They’re bigger and stronger than the males. And definitely much more aggressive. Heck, they even got balls. Really.

A female hyena has a pseudopen1s, basically an enlarged cl1t0ris, that they can erect at will. To mate, the meeker male has to insert his pen1s into her pseudopen1s. That’s difficult for the males, but still nothing compared to the female having to give birth through a pen1s!

OLD,

I thought it was S3x IN the City too......so you're not the only one!

SZ

I love this thread. This guy on a dating site kept annoying me and sending way too many emails. I got snippy with him. He emailed me back and said I bit his head off. I sent back that information about the Praying Mantis, have not heard back yet!!!

VERY IMPORTANT SCIENCE NEWS!!!

It was presented on a conference earlier this year, I tried to find proper references for it, but it does not seemed to have been published yet, so I cannot comment on the quality of this study.

Anyway, there has been a lot of talk on this forum about oxytocin and how after sex its level increases in a woman's brain and makes her want to attach more to her partner. I have been trying to find what makes a man want to attach (in a biochemical sense). And I stumbled on a new study. I have found an answer!!! :)

After kissing for 15 minutes, the oxytocin levels in both saliva and blood increased considerably more in human males than in females. Very surprisingly, women's oxytocin levels dropped (but it was higher to start with).

To me it is very surprising. I think this is the evidence base for the power of dry humping (providing it is done while kissing).

Wise,

What is the classical painting you are using as your picture? Or is it really your picture....?

It's date night tonight. I'll volunteer to be the lab rat on the kissing study. 15 min, eh? Now how am I going to get a before and after samples from him....? Here honey, would you mind spitting in this cup first.....? OK. That was great. Can you spit again in this new cup? I think spit would be easier will collect than blood. : - ))))

Robin,

YOU ARE EVIL. I guess this adds a little more meaning to PMS..."Praying Mantis Syndrome!" Hee hee. I have many, many more, so stay tuned.

SZ

The painting is 'Blanzifiore' by Dante Gabriel Rossetti, founder of the Pre-Raphaelite movement. Looks just like me though ;)

SZ, good luck with your study tonight!!!

He must not mind the thought of getting his head bit off, he showed back up in my inbox today. No 15 minute kisses for him, I may never get rid of him.

Gawd! I love and miss those 15 min. kissing sessions! I'll have to put my focus on finding some good mugs to kiss when I do get back out there!

On Sex and the City (movie)...that one has my all time fave s8x position btwn Amanda and Steve...know the one?! Yum-Mee!

So then if the female levels drop during that kissing session then maybe that's the answer to my question about how to hold on to power after sex. Kiss for 15 more minutes and everything will be fine! ;)

Yeah, right!!!!

Robin honey, were you having a bad day? Can we help?

well I once watched a program on brain science and it stated that the brain is highly plastic and can change. So I think this can dismiss a great deal of studies because people can change if they decided to

our habits and personality are not necessarily set in stone