A Goddess will respond like a lady in all situations, doesn't matter, she knows who she is, is proud of herself and doesn't have to prove anything to any one.

Real life scenario: Friend text last Sunday wanting to get together on Friday, 7/31, he proposed, dinner, drinks, dancing. I accpeted his invitation and told him of a place I would like to go. He called Monday morning we talk about the upcoming date and he told me he would call during the week to make arrangements.

I haven't heard from him since Monday morning, Friday has come and gone, I have no intentions of texting, emailing talking to him for a while after this. When I do mention it to him, it will be only to let him know my time is precious, if he became busy, had other engagements, something has come up, please kindly let me know. No fuss, no drama. Nor am I upset by it, there is always a plan b for me.

OK, I was a goddess this morning. I think I posted this on another thread...
I am a landlord and received a phone call before 7am from my new guy-tenant. i took two calls and said it was "too early" to take his calls. He was obviously out on a Fri nite and came home drunk. But this is Aug. 1 and he needs to show "what he's made of..."
So, he calls and calls and I don't answer until after 9am.
That's goddess... setting your standards of what is acceptable and what is NOT.
It's a little tricky in relationships where emotions are concerned and where sex is involved. But if you get past that - then it's as simple as dealing with my guy-tenant. Keep 'em - toss 'em until the right one comes along....
Auds xoxoxox

Ebonee..
Can I just say that my opinion of what a true Goddess would be in your scenario, not only would I have had back up plan B and been ok with it. But, I would not be available for him again on another date.
That is just my idea and how I would handle it. Feel free to share with me if you disagree...

Think I posted this is another thread but here goes. Ok here's my scenario -

Me and my (ex) bf were going thru some really tough times and in the end he said he wanted to take time away from us, now to me that means not contacting eh? Well, no, he kept phoning and texting (asking me to copy a cd for him, a 'friendly' thing (not what I want)) to which I was politely blunt and then took it in my own initiative to phone him and tell him if he wants this break from us then we need to not contact each other because it is not fair on either of us, either way, he either knows what he truely wants right now or he doesn't, we said goodbye in a nice manner and left it like that, I certainly WILL NOT be contacting him (helps when you're stubborn lol) and it is up to him to contact me since he was the one who initiated the break in the first place, that is if he ever does contact me... Now that took ALOT of guts for me to do because I felt I was taking a chance of losing him but then I thought, if it's meant to be it will not pass me by and if he truely wants to be with me then he will contact, if not, then I know it wasn't meant to be. I will keep doing things for myself right now and not look to find out what he is up to etc etc (it will only hurt ME in the end if it seems like he is having fun without me). I just have to bite the bullet and get on with it, as hard as it will be.

x

Ebonee,
You speak like true Goddess. I have a questions similar to Survivor's.
What would Goddess do when the same gentleman "forgets" about another date, or something else just as disrespectful after he is been politely told this kind of behavior is unacceptable? What is you are hopelessly in love with him? Are you willing to lose love before self respect?

A Goddess does not reward bad behavior.

Eboneejones,

That is text book,

When you see him, don't even mention anything about the date, he will ask again, this time just say you are busy.

Lisagant,

That's pretty good. I still think that saying something like, "my time is valuable and I would appreciate next time you cancel in advance, so I can plan accordingly"
That gives direction to someone who is unaware and sends the signal what is not acceptable. Of course if they pull that off again, I won't be even talking to tell them anything because there is nothing there to work with.

I posted this on the no contact thread but it belongs here. Most of you know I am back on the market again, thats what I call it when you have been dumped. They don't dump you, they just put you back on the market so to speak. Anyway there is this very nice guy or I guess man is more like it, we are friends but I have always admired his attitude and I know he certainly has admired mine. We go to the same place and he has let me know that if I was ever on the market again, he was coming after me. Last weekend we were talking and he asked me to go home with him and listen to music etc...I made up an excuse about my daughter and let it go (not Goddess behavior) Last night he asked me again. I just looked at him for a minute and collected my thoughts then I told him in so many words That although I like you very much, I am not going home with you. If you would like some of my time you had best get more creative. I kissed him on the cheek and left. He was smiling and shaking his head when I left. I left him wanting more and I left him with a challenge. So now he knows that I have my standards and will not let them falter. Anyone want to place a bet as to if I get a real date out of this?

Thank you Robin,

Great example of WWGD! Because self respect comes before "love". The moment we put love before self respect we become doormat, the mother, you name it... Anything but Goddess.

Robin has set her standards, buitiful has spoken of self-respect and I have set my boundaries.
My relationship has been a crazy rollercoaster year where one moment looked promising and the next quite dreadful. This relationship has been retrograde and has made me feel like I was walking through glue.
I am sensitive and emotional. My hopes and dreams for this man to come back into my life have made me feel that I have allowed him to stir up my emotions even more. I felt the need to compare what I assumed to be true to what I am learning now about his situation. But, so far, I have gotten no response. Borrowing buitifil's phrase... this is Anything but Goddess.

He has given me a good reason not to trust him when I called him at home and another woman answered and he didn't come over again nor called to explain.
He has given me good reason to feel that he just wanted a casual yet exclusive relationship with me.
He has not fought for me. He has not called since April/May.
If I were important enough then all these things would not have caused me to be so obessive and feel so hurt.

So, I am learning to set my boundaries of what is acceptable behavior and with any relationship I won't force you to be my friend, won't call at inappropriate hours, won't beg for forgiveness, won't apologize for grieving.

I'm looking for abundance in my life which includes money, balance, and inner peace - wealth. I'm learning to become more independent in my thinking and what it takes for me to be happy and fulfilled.
Auds

Buitiful,

Are you a teacher, run a few sites of your own?

You almost tripped me up with this question, ohh shame on you, smiles!

"What if you are hopelessly in love with him?

A Goddess is NEVER hopelessly in love with any man, she loves the man she is with dearly and respects him for who he is, admiring his courage, strength and weakness at times. To say "hopelessly" implies she has no control over her emotions or say in the relationship, she does what she has to do in order to continue to be true to who she is.

"Are you willing to lose love before self respect?"

The days of crying over a man, pondering his love for her or his whereabouts are long behind her, she moves forth with grace, style and elegance. She calmly informs those who mean the most to her in a loving fashion how see feels about any wrong doing, she does not yell, scream, nor shout to get her point across. She stands her position and states her cause, from there she moves on not visiting the topic again.

If after she has expressed her concerns and the situation remains the same, she carefully deliberates over her current situation and makes a healthy decision on what should be her next step.

Good Morning Goddesses!

I am glad to see the calvary here as well. Thank you all for posting. I really want this to keep going because ALL of can contribute and inspire others. Ebonee, you are right on again. Hopelessly is not Goddess-like and implies her boundaries are shaken. Some ladies here brought the subject of selfish vs self loving.
Selfish is self serving, self interest driven. Self loving is respect for self as well as others, asserting boundaries in non threatening manner, living happy life without assistance from a man. Not demanding respect, but practicing self respect.
Robin here, shows an example of self respect that requires the respect from others by stating what would take for her to spend time with a man if she likes him.
Auds made a great introspect of how she is defining her boundaries.
Ebonee, I am not teached, and don't have my own sites. I am learning, just like the rest of us. I am a Goddess. I have been all my life. Due to my family and society programming I forgot how to be Goddess. I suffered low self esteem, self sacrificing, no boundaries, you name it. I am reclaiming my Goddess self now and I love some company, please. Who wants to come with me?

I really like what lisagent said...because from what I'm learning, men respond to action...not words. I think that is exactly how I will handle that particular situation (if it ever arises). Thank you lisagent...that sunk in for me!! "A Goddess does not reward bad behavior"...another goodie for my cookie jar!!

E, beautifully said and Robin...YES!!! He is right now telling his buddies about this beautiful and strong woman who he's gonna get one way or the other!! lol. Audry...you sound like you have gotten it together!! I'm so happy that you are moving in the right direction.

Keep the "scenarios" coming ladies!! This is how I and others can learn. I'm already seeing the light. This is great!! Love you guys.

I am here with you buitiful. One of the Calvary. lol.

A Goddess does not attract losers because she carries herself and expresses herself in a maner that conveys the message that losers will not take up her precious time. They instinctively know not to approach without her saying a word (unless they are drunk as a skunk). With her grace and self assured style she will attract quality men into her life.

Boy...words to live by! A guy who I just started chatting with (about two exchanges) asked if we can meet sometime, but I noticed his email was sent 3a.m. this morning!! WTF?? I haven't responded. Am I a Goddess now??

Darlin,

You are right. At Sunday morning at 3 AM, he just crawled out of a bar where didn't "score", unless he works night on the weekend or something else just as innocent, but not very likely. And what meeting sometime means? Paying attention is good, listen to your intuition.

Yes Darlin you are a Goddess now.

bowing!!! ha ha. Interesting thing here...I presented this on another thread and got many responses from man and women and they all seem to think I need to keep an open mind since he may have a night job, or as Chris said (hee hee) maybe he couldn't sleep and had to pee!! lol! and thought he'd sit down and shoot a email. So, you might have to dethrone me because I decided to ask some questions of him about work, late hours etc. Chris brought to my attention that sometimes when I can't sleep I'm busy on DWD! :) Any new thoughts on these possibilities?

I still think it is not very respectful to send something at 3 in the morning, but I am old fashioned in a lot of ways for such a liberal minded person. Then again, some men just aren't very bright and don't realize we even notice the time.

In defence of the 3am message - sometimes I wake up and can't get back to sleep for a while - I jump on PC and check my bank etc (SOO exciting I know) Odd times I have had an IM chat with a mate/male who can't sleep too.

A Goddess - self-respect is all - the feeling that you've walked away from a bad/no-win situation,drawn a line under it is amazing. It can only add to you as a person.

There will always be another man.

Robin,
I have to say that I respectfully disagree:) If the phone rang or a text came through at 3am in the morning, I would completely agree with you! But, people know that they can email at all hours of the night and it isn't going to wake the person up. I think the biggest concern is if he likes to party to much.
I suggest that Darlin doesn't over analyze a 3am email. Maybe make a "funny" reply back to him, something along of the lines of, "wow, you were up late last night" wink wink...and see what the response is.

EJ, wonderful comments. This thread is so uplifting! I smile, I learn, I grow.

A goddess isn't afraid to walk away from a relationship that is not meeting her needs.

Robin that was funny!!!

survivor, I am inclined to go with your rationalization on this one. I don't think it's good for us (me) to automatically jump to a conclusion (because of a past experience) and I agree also that if someone phoned me after a certain hour I would have to make it real clear that is not acceptable unless of course it was an emergency. So I guess I'm not suppose to respond the same day as I received his email and will wait till tomorrow (maybe 4a.m. ) ha ha no, and mention that I noticed the time and he likes being up before the birds...or something like that. All of your input makes me think and that's a wonderful thing rather than jumping! hugs to you all!!

Survivor has a point, it could go either way. I think I have emailed at 3 am myself probably, and possibly could have been drinking.

robin

I like the 'possibly could have been drinking' bit

;o)

More like probably.

Girls..you have me laughing....it is great! Darlin you need to keep us posted on his response and reasons for his 3am (before the birds) not even with them, LOL! email. Can't wait to hear!hahaha

Ps. Watch, he is probably a brain surgeon and got called into the hosp for an emergency surgery. Just got home and was trying to unwind.LOL...

Ok we got to get back to the Goddess thing here. A Goddess can bring a man to his knees with her silence. And silence is how a Goddess punishes bad behavior, the opposite of not rewarding good behavior.

Ha Ha Ha!! This is about Goddess's Robin, This is the stuff that makes it sink in for me! I need this back and forth, examples, etc. Brain surgeon..I should be so lucky lol! And Robin, I haven't thrown the drinking thing out the window just yet. Stay tuned....

survivor, your #22 post is on target as far as I'm concerned.
Auds (smooches)

Wow Robin, you said it soooo well. "And silence is how a Goddess punishes bad behavior, the opposite of not rewarding good behavior."
I bow down to you now!-- You should think about a career as a dating coach God wink!:)))
Auds

Please don't bow Audrey, lol, you are a Goddess, we will walk hand in hand with our Goddess crowns on our heads.

And I don't know where you are from little darlin but where I am from that is a big shag song called little darlin and every time i read one of you posts I can't get the song out of my head. Shag is big hear in the south and Goddesses do it gracefully. Please keep me posted. Its a dance that we do on the beach with no shoes on.

yeah, I've heard the name but have no idea what it is. teach it to me...step one, back, now step two. I keep singing the "oldie" "little Darling"...before your time! Damn it! lol!! CT.

ROBIN!!! sWEET rOBIN... okay, so I had a glass (or two of wine)... Robin, sweet Robin (now that's better)... of course, i forgot what I was gnna say.,.. DAMN!
lOVE YA, AUDS X0X0X0X.... and all the rest of you TOO!!! (smooches)

Deleted

And its one and two, three and four, five,six, repeat. Notice no and between five and six. Is this the oldie you were talking about and trust me its not before my time. I am no spring chicken here.

deleted due to alcohol.

deleted

RObin,

You have to retire your pretty head for tonight. Those links are all screwed up.

You have too many windows open Robin, hehehehe and too many glasses of wine or something.. just don't get on the puter at 3:00 AM winking at dick on match.

I know, but when I posted the links the screen just went bland and I am not halluciating. It like this site had a mind all its own. I swear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3q-zl3DZOs

There now I think I got it. Maybe Paige is blocking the links. So again Here it is little Darlin, just for you, and this is what a man should be saying to a Goddess, its Marvin Gaye

Oh don't worry about that, no winking at dick and I think too many windows is what I will go with.

love Marvin gaye has his cd. my "little Darlin" is from the late 50's or early 60's. Thanks for the link. I'm going right now...

Oh Man, just when i was giving praise to Audry, and there she goes again........... lol

thanks Robin, I vaguely remember that one, but have seen a lot of the Motown people in concert. Love Motown, grew up on it and most of my cd's are black! ha ha.

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