Online Dating - Post Your LOSERS Here! :)
Thu Jan 21 2010 - 01:29 am
Ok, here is where you post the lamest emails that you have received from dudes on online dating sites. Just about every single email I get is lame and so I could keep this thread going for weeks...lol.
In fact, the only great email I've received has been from the guy I've been seeing for almost 5 months. Seriously. I think it's funny that he gets jealous of the fact that I still have my profile up (since he and I are technically broken up but still act like BF/GF). If he could read these losers' emails, he would sooo not be jealous.
Here is the latest: (cut and pasted verbatim)
"How did it feel When you fell from heaven? Im not desperate like a couch potatoe I simply chat with Sweethearts to keep the loosers away.If thats really you on that picture you have a"Nice smile."Just being honest."
Thu Jan 21 2010 - 01:48 am
This was def the most interesting e-mail I got. Don't know if this guy is a "loser" (never met him) but I had fun with "poetry man." Still "talk" to him occasionally.....His e-mails are always in Dr. Suess rhyme.
I am new to this business of Internet dating.
Which is the equivalent of otherwise stating,
That I haven't a clue as to how this thing works!
How does one know the nice ones from the jerks?
How can one determine if someone is true
With the Internet, your hair could truly be blue.
You could be a guy for that matter, oy, that's scary!
You could have the morals of Marion Barry.
But, let's just assume that you are who you say
And your photo depicts a lovely woman, so, hey
If you're feeling the slightest bit, well, curious
I promise you that meeting me won't be..injurious.
Thu Jan 21 2010 - 02:30 am
That was actually almost cute even though I would imagine he sent it to like 50 women.
I'm talking here about the real losers - the illiterate ones, the ones who use cliche lines, the ones who try to get into your pants in the first email, etc.
Thu Jan 21 2010 - 05:14 am
Ok Here's an email from one of my eharmony "losers":
Hi Christopher,
How are you doing?
I'm Y***** from eHarmony.
Well, it was long time ago. Since we speak last time (April 2009) I got divorce in June and moved to other town. Now I'm a full time nursing student, renting 2 rooms in house and I left my massage practice. Actually I work sometimes, but my classes take all my time. I will be graduated in May 2011. I'm doing very well, just don't have free time. So, I'm not looking for serious relationship or even dates. Well maybe sometimes dates will be good. Ok. Reason why I'm writing to you is that I'm searching place for vacation. I will have school break from 16 of Dec. to 10 of Jan. My son is also have school break. I remember that you said that the weather in Miami is nice in winter time. So what is the weather like in theend of December? Will I able to find cheap and nice hotel in this time? I don't know if you date someone or not, but I hope we may communicate like normal people.
Y****
This was the one who's husband called me to ask why the hell I was calling his wife's phone...
(She is not half literate, she's just foreign)
I did not respond, because if I did I would have simply told her to contact a travel agent.
Thu Jan 21 2010 - 10:46 am
Lol!
At one point when online dating, a friend and I kept a log of some of the best messages. This has gotta be the best:
"Hello nice pic your fit,do you bally or something. i think your out of my league but i think we have a lot in common,do you if yes email me?"
Class or what? :-)
Thu Jan 21 2010 - 11:48 am
Just last night I got this. Guy is 24.
wish i could give u a foot massage haha
Thu Jan 21 2010 - 11:50 am
And another:
Do you enjoy younger man ?
Thu Jan 21 2010 - 12:12 pm
Curly,
Just one more comment before I scram from this thread. I thought the same thing, that poetry man may have sent that original verse out to 50 women, but he continued the conversation with me, all in verse and specific to the topic at hand. I don't think these are cut and paste poems. It was kind of amazing actually.....
I answered him in verse also, but he could come up with them much quicker. It was a hoot.
He's probably still on Match. "Harveyzowie" was his screen name. Lively one he was.
SZ
Thu Jan 21 2010 - 01:15 pm
Oh, despite my dateless status I have one to add here. Got this one a couple of days ago:
"Hello,
My name is J. As you can see from my profile *half naked profile pic* I am 58 years old but very fit. Looking for a woman to cuddle and have sex with. Can offer up to $300 a month. Phone number is xxxxxxx. Call after 10pm as my wife is in bed then.
Love, J."
Thu Jan 21 2010 - 01:53 pm
WTF?
I'd be tempted to write back and say
"Make it $50,000 per month and I'll think about it" :-)
Thu Jan 21 2010 - 01:58 pm
$300 might get you an hour tops. Jeez these men.
Inspiration Story:
Connect w/ Paige
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