not sure what to believe
Fri Nov 20 2009 - 12:55 pm
I have not had a boyfriend for a while. and last weekend it was my friends'big party so I went. I dont usually drink but that day I decided to have a couple of drinks.
As soon as I got to the party, I noticed a guy that I thought was very good looking straight away. My friends introduce every one to all the people that were there.
Eventually I found myself dancing alone and then I saw him when he got up and came to join me. We then started dancing and ended up kissing each other, when I was leaving the party I just gave him a kiss and left.
I added him to facebook as I was tagging him for some pictures. I sent him a message asking if he had a good time the night before..he replied and since then we have started answering messages to each other.
All my friends that were there know how much I fancied this guy but one of my friends, whose friends with him asked him; what he thought of me and apparently he said he's not ready?
I do not know what is that suppose to mean?
I am not asking for a relationship or even to go out for a drink. I just been chatting as normal about mutual friends gossip.
I actually thought we could have gone out again and probably see where it takes us. But none of us got our numbers..we have not exchanged any.
My friends say I should get over it and if am going to cry for everyone that I kissed I would never find someone.
Please help! Why did he decided to come and dance with me and not someone else? Why is he replying and giving full explanations to the messages I've sent him?
Should I asked him out and see what he says?
Fri Nov 20 2009 - 01:35 pm
He likes you but he is not ready. Take it at face value and move on. It is not like you have a whole lot invested in this guy.
Maybe he is just getting out of an intense relationship and not ready to move on. If that is the case, it is what it is. If he wants to chat you up on FB fine, but don't invest too much in this until he is ready to step up. That could be never. It could be tomorrow. Just continue to live your fabulous full life.
Fri Nov 20 2009 - 02:22 pm
Hi isabella
Sorry to say this, but your friends is dead right.
'He's not ready' could mean, as theta suggests, that he's just got out of a heavy relationship and doesn't want another one. Or, it could be a polite way of saying 'Thanks but no thanks'. I am sure this guy has an idea you might be interested in him and if this feeling is mutual then he'll ask you out when he's ready.
In the meantime - as theta also suggested - continue with the rest of your busy and exciting life. If this guy isn't interested then it won't be long before another, equally good-looking guy comes along who is.
Fri Nov 20 2009 - 04:32 pm
Thanks for all your comments.
i know he is been single for a while. And tried to date one of my friends ages ago, but she went out with him and thought he was boring. So not sure if he is now scare of women as he seems quite shy.
When my friend asked him what he thought of me, and he said 'hes not ready' he never told her we have been chatting on facebook.
Dont you think he should have said something about it?
He probably knows that I fancy him,not sure if that's a good thing.
Should I ask him to go out for a drink as friends just to see what he is all about? or is it too much to be asking from him?
Fri Nov 20 2009 - 04:44 pm
I agree with Smiler, you need to back off this one. He's not ready.
If you push the envelope, by asking him out for drinks on the pretext of being friends (when actually you'd like far more than that), he'll pick up on that, and be very turned off.
Adopt a laid back approach, go on with your life, attract other men's attention, and then you might find in a few months time, he'll pop up in your life again.
Less is more here!
Fri Nov 20 2009 - 05:01 pm
Asking a guy out on any pretext is a dicey proposition at the best of times and rarely works the way you want it too.
I agree with the above posts ESPECIALLY if he knows you like him. He won't buy the Just Friends line for a second, and you will look foolish pushy and desparate
Fri Nov 20 2009 - 07:13 pm
Isabella,
"Why did he decide to come and dance with me and not someone else?"
He was living in the moment and liked the feelings he was having.
"Why is he replying and giving full explanations to the messages I've sent him?"
He is being polite since you started the contact.
"Should I asked him out and see what he says?"
No. If and when he becomes "ready", that is probably something HE would like to do instead.
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