not capable
What does it mean when a man says he is not capable of loving anyone, and what to do, pursue the man or not?
I am sure there are plenty of exceptions, but I would exercise caution if a man says any of the below:
I am not capable of loving anyone
I never fall in love
When I am in a relationship, it affects my work negatively (particularly if he really likes his job)
I am not a very nice person
I am ego-centric
Having a relationship with a man who is emotionally unavailable, emotionally constipated or emotionally repressed man is not much fun and if it is possible to avoid it, I will.
It means you should take him at his word. No more, no less. Rather than take time and energy finding out exactly why he isn't capable of loving anyone, it would be best to leave this one alone and choose another.
Everyone is entitled to love. Give what you can. Even if it is loving them from afar:)
...what wise and Trace said.
There are men out there who *are* capable of loving. Life's far too short and you're time's far too precious to waste time on those who are not.
Thanks for all your response, this is a guy that i already had a relationship with, and in the past told me he loved me many times, he is also a musician. As you know they are on another planet, although i have business in the world of music as well. We were together, I broke up, back together again, i broke up again, and he had a realtionship with another woman, after two years he broke up with her, kinda wanted to come back to me, but i did not ask him to come back, and now when i ask him about his feelings, he says he is not capable of loving anyone.
The definition of madness is continuing to do the same thing, time and time again, and expecting a different result.
You know this dance well. Please don't put yourself through more pain, and try - as hard as you can, to let this one go.
More men are waiting for you to give you every ounce of love and stability you so deserve. You just have to choose it that's all.
Thank you so much Trace for your reply, are you a man or a woman? just curious. I guess my problem is, that I want the thing that I cannot have, and it is driving me crazy! He is also 13 years younger than me, but that has never seemed to be an issue with us, we are both attractive people, and he is a very very talented musician, hense, i am also attracted to the image. I am also attracted to passion, since i am a passionate person myself, he is a latino, I am not. Your comments are correct in your outlook, you might say, that this is an addiction of some sort, but, in the last month, since we last talked, he has not called, and I refuse to call him, so looks like stalemate, or checkmate, as they say in chess, who will have the next move? not me, so it may be another five months before we run into each other again. my problem is that I do not have the desire to start something new with someone else, only friends, have not met anyone in the last 2 years, that I would consider being with.
Carlisle, I'm a woman (yep, just checked again, and I definitely am!) What are you doing about meeting other men? If you can do some work on your scarcity mentality, I think that would be a really good idea.
Just my 2 cents worth--
I remember a phrase from Oprah
"When someone tells you who they are--believe them--the FIRST time.."
When a man says any of the phrases in Wise's post the man is doing you the courtesy of telling you who he is. Believe him.
Thanks again for your responses. Actually what he really said to me was, I do not have the capacity to love anyone, not, I am not capable. And yes Trace, I am out there, meeting people all the time, but have to straighten out other parts of my life, problems etc, before, I feel like I can start a new relationship with someone. Rather be with friends, and guys I feel comfortable with, then start something new right now.


Replies