Nobody has come across a case like this.. have they?

Dear Paige

I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years. We are both in our mid 20s.
Our relationship is pretty good, but there is one major problem and Im not sure how to handle it.
Every now and then, he has a thing where he completely backs off me and does not call me for days. We would meet up on a friday and saturday and then, BAM, he would disappear and not call for a whole week. Sometimes he would send me a text saying he misses me, or to ask me how i am, but he wouldnt pick up the phone and call me. I like to refer to these periods as him "missing".

It has gotten pretty old now, as its happened so many times over the years. Usually, I wait, build myself up and blow up at him. He throws excuses my way and then things change for a while before he pulls the same none sense again.
At the end of last year he started talking about us moving in together.. and he also frequently makes comments about getting married and children. We both have agreed that we dont want to get married until our late 20s.

Anyway, the last fight we had over him "missing" was at the end of last year and i explained to him thats one of the reasons I'm not enthusiastic about moving in with him and that i need to be satisfied with the relationship before i take that step. So after that fight, things magically changed for a good 7 month period. He went from one extreme to the next, instead of seeing each other 2-3 times a week, which in my opinion, is ideal, we saw each other 4-5 times a week. If so much as even 2 days went by without us talking, he would remind me that its not acceptable!
He would occasionally drop hints about if circumstances were right, if i would move in with him..and I would smile and say maybe. I have just finished university and Im looking for work, so I cannot move in with him until Im stable financially and he knows this and agrees with me. He seems very desperate for this to happen as soon as possible.

He often brags about me to his friends as being the girlfriend. I have read many books on dating including yours and I have perfected the art of dating pretty well.

Recently he has gone missing again, approximately 3 weeks ago. We just went from so much contact, to seeing each other again twice a week and him not calling me. I am absolutely shocked and have no idea WHY he is doing this? I dont understand why not pick up the phone and call me? His schedule hasnt changed and he is clearly not busy. I have a feeling he is doing this on purpose but i dont understand why? Clearly, Im not the one calling him either at the moment, although i have tried this technique in the past where i thought calling him might fix it, it hasnt.

At first I thought, maybe he was seeking validation and wanted me to react, so i did not react and there was no change in his actions. He is very loving when we do meet up, much more then he was when we were seeing each other 5 times per week. I know he expects a certain response from me, as this kind of behavior has never gone down well with me.
My plan for now is to do nothing... and hope that he'll start to wonder "how come she doesnt care that Im acting this way" However i get so angry thinking about it.

I have spoken to many people about this and nobody can figure it out. How can a guy who pushes for commitment and is loving, be also neglectful at the same time?

Is it too much to just find some kind of a balance where he sees me say on friday and saturday and maybe once during the week? Is it too much for him to make a phone call during the week just touch base with me?

What are your thoughts?

I have a feeling Im being tested. I just dont know why or how to respond.
Annie