New guy in sight! How should I go about this?
Thu Mar 11 2010 - 04:42 am
Hello, ladies!
So there's this guy that I've been seeing a lot in our cafeteria on campus for the past month. We were never actually introduced but one day (during the Olympics) he just randomly came up to me with a sad look on his face and said "Canada lost..." and I was like "Aw. okay." I did notice that he was really cute, though! :P Anyway, ever since, we've been running into each other maybe twice/week and we'd say "Hi" as we walked past each other, smile and keep walking. In the past week, I've ran into him sooo many times and it was just the same thing, nod, smile, hi, bye. So today I told myself, OK, this guy doesn't live in the same house as I do but we're in the same residence so he can't be too far.. If I see him, I'll try to at least introduce myself. And he's been lurking around my house a lot, so I guess today was my lucky day!
I was walking back from work tonight and I see this guy there walking towards me, and it wasn't until i was maybe 1 meter away from him that I realized it was him! And he was like "Hey, how's it going?" (he has a German-ish accent, haha useless details). And I'm like "Hey! I'm good, how are you?" so we both stop, then I'm like "You know, I see you all the time but I don't think we've ever actually met.." and he's like "Yeah, that's true!" and we both asked "What's your name?" at the same time. So we introduced ourselves, said what houses we lived in, etc etc, he said he liked my shirt lol, and I was in a rush so I just said " Nice to meet you!" and headed towards my house. He seems adorable, and he's really cute but a friend of mine told me he deals drugs. I don't judge him for smoking pot and selling it or whatever, but that's all I know about him =/ How should I strike a conversation with him next time we run into each other?
Thu Mar 11 2010 - 06:59 am
Cycy-
Is there a way to find out if the drug thing is true?
If it is true, stay away. Seriously, if you are with him one day and he gets arrested, so will you, regardless of whether you're involved in the selling of drugs. You're putting yourself in a situation where you know up front you could be in serious trouble at some point.
If however, it's NOT true, next time you see him, ask him if he ever had coffee at the coffee shop down the street, or tried the burgers at the nearby pub, (obviously I made those locations up; you'd have to put real places in there), because you had been thinking of trying the coffee shop/pub, but hadn't yet. If he's interested in you, then that gives him an opportunity to ask you to go out.
Good luck.
Kat
Thu Mar 11 2010 - 03:28 pm
Cycy, let me be frank with you. I don't mean to be harsh, but I have been in your boots, and I know exactly how I used to feel when I first went to a college. It might also help you to read and pay attention to DWD.
Well, lots of us have been through that stage you are in now, and we know how it feels. You might want to take it a little slow but steady. When you are attracted to someone, it feels very nice when he even speaks to you. But you have to come out of those rosy glasses to see what he really is. A man would needs some encouragement from you to be able to call you out. Give him a subtle opening, and as Kat said, you can suggest going to a coffee shop or grab burgers somewhere. But take the time to find out if you really like him. There is a big difference between infatuation and actual liking / love. He is cute now, but you may not feel he is as cute when you are fighting, or when he is awfully sick. Those are the times that true love will take you through, and not infatuation. I remember your previous post "What should I do?". You liked a guy for a while, but lost interest in him once he went off on a vacation. That was a case of infatuation, which all of us have felt at one point or the other. When you actually love someone, you’ll love him, no matter what. You are at an exciting time in your life, when you are getting aware of your womanhood, and like attentions from men you think are cute. Some people even find their life partners in college. But take some time to actually find out if a guy is “datable” or not. I had often been totally smitten by some guy, only to wonder later how on this earth was I ever attracted to him! (And they are very nice people, just that I wasn’t actually attracted to them). So, you’ll have to find some sort of an optimum time where you take enough time to make up your mind that you like someone, but not too long that you miss the opportunity. Also, if you like someone but he gets taken, don’t worry much about it. There are several wonderful men out there, most of who are your age are still single.
Coming back to this cute guy you told us about – if he is indeed a person who deals with drugs, you might want to steer clear of them if you are not into drugs too. You don't need to be judgmental about someone smoking pot, but a relationship with such a person is very difficult, as Kat pointed out too.
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