tough situation. it depends on how he took it. from hanging out with my guy friends, they would feel that a woman is checking up on them. as a woman, i can totally understand how you felt, it would drive me crazy too. i hope things work out for you two.

You say whenever he gets close to you he withdraws, but you also say he's only done it twice?

Can you comment more on that please?

I think you're fine sending the text.. Like i always say in these situations, if youve been with someone for almost 6months you should be able to text him without him thinking youre "checking up on him"... You should be able to call whenever you want by now (within reason of course) and if you can't then theres a problem... I would just give him his space, don't do the whole "is something wrong, you're acting weird thing" because that just pushes guys further away... Ride it out and things will more than likely go back to normal as long as you dont get all craazy

Im new please help!

I met this guy through my mother’s best friend; witch is the best friend son. Well he came on so strong to me in the beginning. Saying things what a single mom would want to here. He love kids met my kids. Don’t mind being a stepfather. He wants to protect me etc……. We would talk for hours on the phone, morning wake up calls and night.
His mom and my mom are always together. So we are bound to see each other. Well what I want to no is why a guy come on so strong and then starts pulling back. Not taking my calls or reply to my tex. Just fell off although he pursued me. But when we see each other he’s all under me wants to kiss talk etc…. So I asked him why and what happen. He says he’s been really depressed and he thought he was ready for a relationship and he doesn’t want to lead me on. Which I think is little late for that. I have seen some depression there and a lot of it from him not able to do the things that he use to do. He’s only 40 years old. He has Congested heart failure disease and Diabetes. He takes a lot of medication for his condition. I asked him if he wanted me to step back from him and he said no, that he need me and the uplifting words that I give him. He says it helps. What do I do? First I no be a friend but how when he don’t answer. I’m confused, I have feeling too.

What shall I do?
NeNe,

He sounds needy and not in the right space emotionally to be in a healthy, functioning relationship. I would date others.

Hi ,

Well its only been a month with my Boyfriend but I'm hoping it will work out for us.

My question is: Do you think it is too soon to invite him over for Thanksgiving with my family? Should I just leave it to him? If he wants to see him then he'll invite me or ask what I am doing?

Just not sure. I don't want him to think that I am overly serious about this relationship.

CB...are you all exclusively dating? has he stated this or are you just thinking this b/c you all have been together for a month? If you are exclusively dating...I would wait to see what he says about the holidays and if he don't have plans, then yes you can invite him but if he hasn't asked you to be his "lady"..then I wouldn't invite him!

Hi...I am 61 years young...I've had my share of bad relationships and am doing my very best to take things slowly and wisely in this new relationship of about 5 months..would appreciate any advice..thank you...

hi
iam looking for someone to tlk n iam kind new with this I dont know how it works

Smart ladies!!! Is it possible that I am going to have to forget 6 months of a relationship that has been asorbed with fighting, and start back to when I was easier.. We have been together for 2 plus years but the last 6 months have been HORRIBLE!!! I started wanting more and it consumed me, or he is a toal ass and is just here for I have no idea why?? It is so difficult to be fun loving without any pressure after this long!! I am good at it in the beginning, but I eventually tire out... SOme old type of posts I know.. Just want o make a concrete decision and go with it.. I thought about making myself a little unavailable but its hard when I do want to be with him. MAybe give myself a time fram that is reasonable to see the results I want??? My only fear of making myself unavailable is he responds best to me being sweet and loving.. Just hard to be that way when it doesnt get you what you want!!!

I am going to address everyone that is not the thread starter and is asking for advice on their own situations.

Please start a new thread/topic so people can respond to your particular situation without others thinking that advice/response is for them.

It just saves a lot of confusion.

Hey Paige and others!
First of all thanks so much for all the great advice Paige! I save all your emails in a "Paige comments" folder and whenever I'm having boy troubles i can usually find something very insightful on the subject!
So i have a dating dilemma;
I have been dating this guy seven months. He is very sweet and attentive and caring, always looking out for me and moving his schedule around so we can spend more time together and overall a pretty great boyfriend......most of the time, but he has these awful jerk mood swings!! its like when he gets angry he is an entirely different person, he literally wont talk to me until he has calmed down, even if we have to be together....he will just ignore me and sometimes it takes hours. He has never been physically abusive but it has gotten to the point where he will scream at me in front of friends just to embarrass me! And its never like I'm actually doing bad things when he gets so upset, last time it was because while making cookies with a group of friends i playfully smeared frosting on his nose! But after an "episode" he is so apologetic, saying how badly he overreacted etc. but its been happening pretty consistently and every time my trust is crushed... i don't want to be with someone I'm afraid of being myself around. I'm naturally spontaneous and goofy and he is naturally quiet and laid back.... we really love each other, but we are not having fun with each other anymore and I'm just not sure its worth the effort. After all there are a lot of fishes in the sea...right?
What should i do??

Hey Paige and others!
First of all thanks so much for all the great advice Paige! I save all your emails in a "Paige comments" folder and whenever I'm having boy troubles i can usually find something very insightful on the subject!
So i have a dating dilemma;
I have been dating this guy seven months. He is very sweet and attentive and caring, always looking out for me and moving his schedule around so we can spend more time together and overall a pretty great boyfriend......most of the time, but he has these awful jerk mood swings!! its like when he gets angry he is an entirely different person, he literally wont talk to me until he has calmed down, even if we have to be together....he will just ignore me and sometimes it takes hours. He has never been physically abusive but it has gotten to the point where he will scream at me in front of friends just to embarrass me! And its never like I'm actually doing bad things when he gets so upset, last time it was because while making cookies with a group of friends i playfully smeared frosting on his nose! But after an "episode" he is so apologetic, saying how badly he overreacted etc. but its been happening pretty consistently and every time my trust is crushed... i don't want to be with someone I'm afraid of being myself around. I'm naturally spontaneous and goofy and he is naturally quiet and laid back.... we really love each other, but we are not having fun with each other anymore and I'm just not sure its worth the effort. After all there are a lot of fishes in the sea...right?
What should i do??

hey, sorry i missed the no posting unless its a reply. ignore mine, i will start i new thread :)

hi paige and everyone...i just signed up and need your advice.
i just had this new relationship with a guy for about 3 weeks. At first, he was very eager to call me, to see me...but as time goes by...i noticed that it is not the same anymore...i know he is a very busy business man and always he told me that i need to understand him when he is not making contact on me because of his very busy schedule...i like this guy much, i really admired him a lot for being so hardworking when it comes to work, but i want to spend more time with him...but what can i do if he is always busy???? pls. give some advise for me. thanks...

well clearly he just not that into you. think you let him get is space 4 over a couple of months and he still having come togeter he realy must not be that into you.

I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE CAUSE HE DONT WANT A RELATIONSHIP HE JUST WANT A MESS AROUND.

Good morning Ladies,

Please all those who are seeking advice please start a new thread regarding your situation, by starting here you are taking away from the original poster and making it a bit confusing to concentrate on her.

Thanks!!

Honey Aries,

You've been seeing this man for only 3 weeks and you are exhibiting signs of being needy and clingy early on, this is a sure fire way to have him pull away. If you want to get to know him and he is indeed busy, you have to be patient and not rush the situation because you like him.

Have you slept with him yet and what do you hope to happen between you and him?

Beth,

Your boyfriend is showing signs of being a boy instead of a man, tantrums, pouting, becoming extremely angry and giving you the silent treatment are all signs of a man not able to deal with life's demands. Seems like only a matter of time before the physical abuse starts.

Did you express to him how his anger episodes/outbursts affect your mood, how it strains the relationship and how you feel you cannot trust him and it scares you, besides you do not want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't know how to control his emotions?

I would talk to him about it, let him know your concerns and if he doesn't improve be prepared to walk. Suggest he enroll in an anger management session or therapy.

Of course all said in a non threatening manner.

Good luck!

Tracy69,

If this is the man you want in your life for the rest of your life, you have to accept the fact he is busy and will get around to calling you when he has time.

But the more you sit there and fret over his non communication, the more you will put yourself in freak out mode, becoming angry, upset annoyed because he didn't call you when YOU expected him to call. And by the time you two get around to talking or going out again you will be soo annoyed it will show in your actions, which will make him react to what he sees in you, giving him a not soo happy feeling to be around you.

You have to continue with your happy busy life and know this is the way your relationship is for the moment, until he becomes a bit less busy and has more time to dedicate to you and your relationship.

Relax!

i totally get where your at.. but yes you need to make yourself unavailable.. ive been there where you feel like your in a relationship when your funloving and as soon as you act otherwise things start going sour between ye.. infact im broken up with that partner a few months however we have been in contact the last 2 months again and i have taken that aproach of just keeping myself busy when he wants to meet. i agree with you that it just gets tiresome after a while and you feel like your not true to yourself. commitment needs to made after that amoun of time together. if things are been tested so early on then you need to ask yourself some questions.

i totally get where your at.. but yes you need to make yourself unavailable.. ive been there where you feel like your in a relationship when your funloving and as soon as you act otherwise things start going sour between ye.. infact im broken up with that partner a few months however we have been in contact the last 2 months again and i have taken that aproach of just keeping myself busy when he wants to meet. i agree with you that it just gets tiresome after a while and you feel like your not true to yourself. commitment needs to made after that amoun of time together. if things are been tested so early on then you need to ask yourself some questions.

i totally get where your at.. but yes you need to make yourself unavailable.. ive been there where you feel like your in a relationship when your funloving and as soon as you act otherwise things start going sour between ye.. infact im broken up with that partner a few months however we have been in contact the last 2 months again and i have taken that aproach of just keeping myself busy when he wants to meet. i agree with you that it just gets tiresome after a while and you feel like your not true to yourself. commitment needs to made after that amoun of time together. if things are been tested so early on then you need to ask yourself some questions.