need advice
Sun Sep 27 2009 - 05:10 pm
I just signed up, have not read the book yet, but i am starting on it today, I have been dating this guy for 5 i/2 months all is great between us, except, whenever he gets close to me, he withdraws, it has only happened twice, once at 3months and now at almost 6mo. we had dinner with friends on thursday night, was amazing, he walked me
to my door that eve and kisses me and says chat at you later nothing out of the norm, i knew he was to busy with the guys on friday so i told him i was going out with my girlfriends, he says maybe i will call ya when your out, i just say ok. did not plan on hearing from him, but we planned on seeing eachother sat for an afternoon picnic, we did not comfirm this the past few days, but i get no call, no txt and here it is on sunday and not a word!!?? I am confused, but respect if he needs space, I did not want to call, but it was drving me crazy , so i sent a text saying " hey there, how ya doing, are you alive?, we say this comment to eachother every once in a while due to our busy schedules, should I have not sent a text at all?
tracy
Wed Sep 30 2009 - 01:39 pm
tough situation. it depends on how he took it. from hanging out with my guy friends, they would feel that a woman is checking up on them. as a woman, i can totally understand how you felt, it would drive me crazy too. i hope things work out for you two.
Thu Oct 15 2009 - 11:05 pm
You say whenever he gets close to you he withdraws, but you also say he's only done it twice?
Can you comment more on that please?
Fri Oct 16 2009 - 12:33 am
I think you're fine sending the text.. Like i always say in these situations, if youve been with someone for almost 6months you should be able to text him without him thinking youre "checking up on him"... You should be able to call whenever you want by now (within reason of course) and if you can't then theres a problem... I would just give him his space, don't do the whole "is something wrong, you're acting weird thing" because that just pushes guys further away... Ride it out and things will more than likely go back to normal as long as you dont get all craazy
Tue Oct 27 2009 - 10:47 am
Im new please help!
I met this guy through my mother’s best friend; witch is the best friend son. Well he came on so strong to me in the beginning. Saying things what a single mom would want to here. He love kids met my kids. Don’t mind being a stepfather. He wants to protect me etc……. We would talk for hours on the phone, morning wake up calls and night.
His mom and my mom are always together. So we are bound to see each other. Well what I want to no is why a guy come on so strong and then starts pulling back. Not taking my calls or reply to my tex. Just fell off although he pursued me. But when we see each other he’s all under me wants to kiss talk etc…. So I asked him why and what happen. He says he’s been really depressed and he thought he was ready for a relationship and he doesn’t want to lead me on. Which I think is little late for that. I have seen some depression there and a lot of it from him not able to do the things that he use to do. He’s only 40 years old. He has Congested heart failure disease and Diabetes. He takes a lot of medication for his condition. I asked him if he wanted me to step back from him and he said no, that he need me and the uplifting words that I give him. He says it helps. What do I do? First I no be a friend but how when he don’t answer. I’m confused, I have feeling too.
What shall I do?
NeNe,
Tue Oct 27 2009 - 04:34 pm
He sounds needy and not in the right space emotionally to be in a healthy, functioning relationship. I would date others.
Mon Nov 23 2009 - 08:19 pm
Hi ,
Well its only been a month with my Boyfriend but I'm hoping it will work out for us.
My question is: Do you think it is too soon to invite him over for Thanksgiving with my family? Should I just leave it to him? If he wants to see him then he'll invite me or ask what I am doing?
Just not sure. I don't want him to think that I am overly serious about this relationship.
Tue Nov 24 2009 - 12:30 pm
CB...are you all exclusively dating? has he stated this or are you just thinking this b/c you all have been together for a month? If you are exclusively dating...I would wait to see what he says about the holidays and if he don't have plans, then yes you can invite him but if he hasn't asked you to be his "lady"..then I wouldn't invite him!
Wed Dec 02 2009 - 05:17 pm
Hi...I am 61 years young...I've had my share of bad relationships and am doing my very best to take things slowly and wisely in this new relationship of about 5 months..would appreciate any advice..thank you...
Thu Dec 03 2009 - 03:02 am
hi
iam looking for someone to tlk n iam kind new with this I dont know how it works
Fri Dec 04 2009 - 07:19 pm
Smart ladies!!! Is it possible that I am going to have to forget 6 months of a relationship that has been asorbed with fighting, and start back to when I was easier.. We have been together for 2 plus years but the last 6 months have been HORRIBLE!!! I started wanting more and it consumed me, or he is a toal ass and is just here for I have no idea why?? It is so difficult to be fun loving without any pressure after this long!! I am good at it in the beginning, but I eventually tire out... SOme old type of posts I know.. Just want o make a concrete decision and go with it.. I thought about making myself a little unavailable but its hard when I do want to be with him. MAybe give myself a time fram that is reasonable to see the results I want??? My only fear of making myself unavailable is he responds best to me being sweet and loving.. Just hard to be that way when it doesnt get you what you want!!!
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