Hi Y'all!

Finally caught up on these boards! I've been SWAMPED working on my project that culminates November 10. I don't even know which end is up until that's done! I've been working on it for more than a year and it's crunch time!!!! It's coming together beautifully but I've missed everyone here!

It's starting to cause a strain in my relationship, but there's nothing I can do about it.

I committed to chairing this project before I met Guitar Guy. I have to see it through. Then there's the project wrap up, and I have to stay on the committee for next year's event and that will take months of planning after this event.

We're not happy as we're trying to put our calendars together and we can't find a time when we can see each other in the next few weeks without distractions from my work. This is rough because of the long distance. If he lived here, or me there, it would be difficult, but not so bad. The distance makes it so tough.

We were supposed to spend 4 days together this weekend, but I have work obligations, and we can't now. I have obligations all the way through November 10 now, so we won't see each other until after then. Can you imagine? We used to see each other several days a week and that would even rough with the distance. Now this is creating a huge strain.

Part of it is because I know it won't end soon.

The economy is picking up here and my business is getting busier. I'm not as free to play as I was before. I don't have as much time to hang out.

Part of being a Goddess is staying in my truth. My truth is that I am a strong woman who knows that I have to support my children and my career is important to me. No man will come before that. I can't rearrange my schedule for any man, no matter how passionate our love is, no matter how amazing our love story is.

I don't like demands to be placed on me, to have to choose between work success in the middle of crunch time and my love. It's not a fair choice.

I know we'll get through this, as we've gotten through so much already, but it might not be the same.

Just wanted to vent.

We're clear on how much we love each other but we're getting impatient with the time we have to spend apart. I just keep thinking that I want a relationship that is in my own city so I can be with the one I love.

The deeper we fall in love, the more this resonates in my heart and soul.

I feel so selfish for thinking this.

Especially now that I'm under work stress. I want my man by my side to hold me and tell me my project is going to turn out okay and all will be fine. I don't just want 2 hour conversations on the phone and text messages cheering me on. I want him here in the flesh.

I can't move for another 3 1/2 years. He can't move for another 11 years.

Does a long distance relationship ever work???

I mean, the love is outrageous. The communication is great. The passion is amazing. Chemistry is off the charts. But really. 3 1/2 years more of this???

I'm getting frustrated.

Y'all are my sounding board.

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship and has it ever worked?

I can't believe I'm even putting this in writing. Y'all know how much I'm in love with Guitar Guy and he is with me.

I'm just so frustrated.

It's Halloween weekend and I'm working all dang weekend!!!!

Swimming in paperwork and projects!!!

If he lived here, at least we could take dinner breaks together and sleep together.

Annalisa, honey. I think that's what swiss miss meant when he said, "If you can handle me, you can handle anything".

He travels so often for so long and I'd miss him so much. Could I handle THAT?

There are many women that are involved with successful men that travel or are so caught up in work - their passion.
Is that what we want? Is that what we NEED?
That's the million dollar question, isn't it?

Auds
xoxox

That's what Guitar Guy asks me. That what he says. He often says: "This distance is intolerable."

That's his line.

But we keep coming back to each other.

He tells me "I need and want someone who is with me day in and day out."

He's not saying that to be rude or to tell me I fall short. He is being in his truth.

The closer we grow, the deeper we fall in love, the more we share our truth, the more these things come out.

We are not meeting each other's deepest needs.

When we went to Disneyland, I could see that his daughter yearns for a family situation. She's young. She needs that. He craves it too.

I crave it.

My son craves it.

We all crave it.

But none of us can move.

It just bites.

In my heart I feel HE is the one, but the time is not right.

I pray about this every night. I pray that God has that pen of my love story in His hand and He is writing it. I pray that He write it as it should be written.

So far, it's a beautiful love story, better than I could ever have written it. But It's missing an important element: we need to be in the same city!!!!

In my gut, when he first contacted me, I told him the fact that he lived 110 miles away was a deal breaker. I agreed to go on one date and be done with it. I fell for him right then and there.

First instincts are so important. I should have stuck to that rule of mine.

There is a reason we have our rules.

I got my heart broken in a long distance relationship when I was 19. I don't think I ever recovered from it. That boyfriend was scarred for life from it. He told me 20 years later that he never recovered and he never married because of it. It ended in tragedy. He was killed. I won't go into specifics. Needless to say, I keep a photo album of us next to my bed. He was very special to me.

With Guitar Guy, he meets all of my requirements for a mate except the long distance requirement. I have settled on that one. But it's such a deal breaker for me. That's why I'm grappling so much now. It's crunch time with work, and I don't see this letting up anytime soon. In fact, I just keep getting busier. Thank God! I need the work because I am the sole supporter of my children.

DOnt be frustrated annalisa...love is a terrible drug..i swear..you get a bit and you want more and more and more and more...

But being a goddess and staying in your truth will sweetin the times you have set aside to see one another and have a date. And those times will be AMAZING- OFF THE CHARTS...and staying true to what you have to do will stregthen you.

do you structure the calls and the texts as to doing it at certain times in your day..so you arent consumed by missing one call or having the little messages take parts of you when you need to do work?

You are doing great...dont get frustated and when you do write here why and vent...we love you and are here for you.

we all have experienced what you are going through..i know i have with ex ex (who we will call mr italy now)- see not capitalized.

As stated, Annalisa, we love you and are here for YOU!
Auds
xoxox

Annalisa,

He is writing, he is writing. Hold tight. God's time as you well know is not always our time.

I don't live my life waiting for his calls or texts. No, no, no!!! Not at all!!! Not Goddess behavior if I did that.

We are very loose about that!!!

He's a creative soul. So am I. I write for a living. He write and composes music. He's also in another creative field in which he makes money for a living. If we planned phone calls, it would drive us crazy.

Sometimes we'll go a day or two without hearing each other's voices and that's perfectly fine.

We do e-mail and/or text daily. Some form of communication.

The sun is setting and I just have a huge empty house now. It's quiet and I'm facing a lot of work.

I should be with him now and I'm not. I won't be for 11 days.

This bites. That's what I'm talking about.

I haven't posted about this before but every once in a while he and I talk about how difficult this distance is and how it wears on us. How do we do it with as much as we long for each other?

I was just thinking about the ex I had before him. He lived 8 miles away from me. It was so easy. Dinners together several nights a week. Popping in to see each other whenever we felt like it. So easy.

It lasted only a month because he wasn't Christian and that's a huge deal breaker for me.

Deal breakers just bite the big one.

Why can't we just wave a magic wand and get what we want when we want it??

Im with you Annalisa....then we would be creating so much other drama all these little hiccups we need actually- then if we just waved a wand.

Im really busy with my job and school and and and and...and mr italy when we were together was always really busy with his business and and and all his toys and just life...it worked really weird for us but it worked i just knew when we would get together. I would think oh he is going to call me on Friday at this time and he did. That way i could concentrate on my stuff and him on his. We can still do it. When he got back from Italy i was thinking on Wednesday I wonder how his trip went? i hope it was ok with the kids. And not but 15 minutes later...a call... very very weird.

So i think all of us goddesses on this board should do one thing for us this weekend. One thing out of the norm....but benefits you and makes you feel good. Have a good one ladies...and i cant wait to read everyones weekend stories on Monday.

Hi Ladies

I have just got home from a great night out with some friends I used to work with. I have had the best time. I dont drink so no alchol was involved! I did Karoke and loved it, I sang so much I can hardly speak now.

The old me would never have done this and would have sat in the corner being miserable and having no confidence.

I felt full of confidence and alive.

Im so proud of myself for facing a fear and really enjoyed it.

I couldnt have done it without you girls. Thank you so much. I feel a completely different person.

Hugs NNN xxxxx

Okay.....I'm getting closer.....I got the printer, the mouse and case in my hot little hands....all waiting on the real deal to get here.......they are all useless without it......the laptop.

They told me it would all be shipped next week but I have 75% of it within 3 days........never was a betting woman.....before last weekend anyway....so I will ask for a little bit of Auds luck and throw in a lot of positive thinking and will bet I have the gold by next weekend.........I will be a happy girl then.....

Hope all is well with you all....Annalisa....I totally understand how you feel....not to worry....take care of what you need to and if Guitar Guy loves you.....he will support whatever it is you need to do. We will be here, some of us more than others but stop in every now and then to ground yourself and take a load off and relax a bit.

Robin....just in case you haven't seen it yet....LOVED Break up boot camp...........it was like reliving the last 4 months....we sure learned a he!! Of a lot didn't we?

Thanks Sip.

hey annalissa, that's why my relationship didn't work out... but if it's meant to be, you two will figure something out. he seems to love you very much and i'm sure he doesn't want to lose you a second time!

my ex is much much less busy then the average person, I am not a super busy person, but i do have to go to work or school 5 days/week and have a horse, a sister, and friends on top of that. he was always waiting for me to have a day off (which i did, every weekend i made sure i had one full day) but he wanted 2 full days. with the long distance, i couldn't give him that. he said 'three more years of this?' (i have 3 more years of school)

the difference is... he could have moved...

Sooooo, Guess who waltzed right into my territory last night? dick, that's right. My place, my spot. Well I am payed my tab, spoke politely, small talk and walked right out. Done. No big deal. He is the one that lost, I gained. No desire to contact, just a desire to run. Funny how the tables turn, now it's me that thinks less of him.

So tonight it's me and quiet guy hopefully. He called this morning and I was never so glad to here from someone in my life. He has a family get together and is going to try to get free early. My daughter is spending the night of, so hopefully it will be a pajama party. My last pajama party was in AC with the dwd ladies. I asked him to sleep over. He wraps all around me when we sleep, dick never did.

really?! he came to your house?

oh you payed your tab, so i guess you weren't at your house lol

How cool Robin!!!

I love wrapping all around my guy. Guitar Guy and I do that. I love that! That's how we sleep all night. Entangled in each other. I've never slept that way with anyone else.

Robin -- so how to you feel about dick now? Now that you saw him and walked away?

I dodged a bullet, a big silver bullet, that's how I feel. He is dark on the inside to me now. I don't see him like I did, not at all. I told him he looked great, he told me I looked great, and I did!!!! Poor man, he lost a fabulous woman, absolutely fabulous!!!!

Robin, Good place of strength/perspective to be in! I have a question f/ you gals..I kind of have a rule that in the early stages of dating, if a man waits to call to ask me out past Wednesday nite f/ the weekend...I generally decline...want him to know he has to catch me early in the week if he wants to pencil me in...what are your thoughts on this one?

I have the same rule. No last minute dates. I do last minute dates with Mr. Quiet, but that's because we have both agreed at this point in our lives, neither of us is ready for a serious relationship, we have a growing friendship. Strange I know but we have been seeing each other for 3 months now.

But yes, you are way to busy to accept a date for the weekend after Wednesday, because some other guy got to you by Monday or Tuesday, thats what he can think. Or you just have plans because we Goddesses don't break plans of any sort to be with a man.

I am ready to join NC2.

NC1 is no longer necessary.....I AM SOOOOO DONE!!!

So, I hope you gals will have me!!!

Oh yes, welcome!!!!!! Yippeeeee!

Thanks Robin!

I may need to steal/borrow some strength......but I'm here!

Robin and Annalisa,

Yes it does feel good to fall asleep wrapped up in the arms of a man.

Do your guys SNORE?

Robin, dick showing up in your territory! The nerve!

That is how I feel about my neighborhood. I do no want no show in my territory! Not for tennis, friends, hanging out at the cafe, or anything!

SophieK you are so right that is the BEST!!

I have been really really sick lately. Got new meds from my Dr and told not to excercise or do anything really. BUt Friday- mr italy called me to chat and it was nice. Invited me over once he heard of me going back to the Dr with new meds. and made me dinner and was very compassionate to me being sick. He laid and held me and it was so nice. kissed my head. He falls asleep easily when he holds me. IT is so nice.
Saturday he woke up and went running around his room like a kid. excited about the sun rise. he went running into his family room balcony to watch it. it makes me smile to think about. He made coffee for us. And then iwent to get my coffee and i noticed he had placed on his table my favorite paper- wall street journal (he apparantly has bought a subscription which is very interesting)He knows its my favorite. It was lined up with the economist,(my favorite magizine) and MIT. I thought it was interesting.
He also mentioned he had work crews at his house working on his guest house and asked if i wanted to see the work. So i did- he knows im moving in two weeks. His place is beautiful. put kitchens in and everything.
we went to breakfast. it was nice. Bought some gifts for the kids for Halloween. and then on the way back he was asking me questions like how long it takes me to drive from where i work to malibu where he lives, and if i thought about moving to malibu and questions like that. mmmm- very interesting. Dont wory i didnt make any conclusions i just thought it was interesting. oh he also asked if iplayed tennis (he has tennis courts)
I left and went home and started going through my stuff for my move. My son and i had a great Haloween. and our place is a mess as we try and do our organization.

i hope everyone had a GREAT weekweekend.

Wow Sadona, he sounds really nice and very interested in you.

Mr.Italy huh? Italian? Niiiiice.

Hope you are feeling better.

right on sadona! both you and widow mom have found a great guy! that's awesome :)

met a guy yesterday. i was having coffee (hot chocolate actually) with my best friend clayton and met a guy named jake. he seems nice, had a coffee date afterwards with him lol. but my friend clayton told me that guy is very clingy (lol i come from a very very small town so clayton know pretty much every one. i live more into the country and stay away from the small town drama and gossip) and doesn't like it when you spend too much time with your family (that's what he heard from jake's ex, i know her as well, she was two grades ahead of me when we were in highschool).

anyway, he seems like a nice guy, a country guy, likes fishing, loves horses, a bit old fashioned, which i like.

BUT

he is indeed very very clingy! texted me almost non stop last night, then phoned me. the texting continued at 5:30 this morning! i really love goodmorning texts, but that's way too early. then he texted me non stop today except for when he was working. so he texted me driving to work (40 min. drive), texted me both cofee breaks and lunch, and after work untill i told him that i had to go. we're having dinner on next week monday (he asked me when and i said monday, he's tried to get it sooner, but i really have no time this week due to exams and i'm behind in school work due to slacking (was thinking about mr. no social a bit too much lol)

so anyway, he agreed for dinner on monday and now has been trying to get a coffee date today, i declined, then wednesday, declined, then friday, declined, then he suggested saturday and he would drive to a trucker's restaurant 5 minutes from here, which i finally accepted... so i can tell him i want to be just friends.

i really have no interest in a relationship and he's a bit too old for me on top of that. (he's 29). and he's very clingy yikes..

aaannnddd the texting started again. wow, he was quiet for just under 1.5 hours lol

Today my "angels" wanted me to know:
"Should I go this way or that way?"
Ask them: Which decision will help the most people? HOLY COW!

So, your indecision may come from a fear of making waves. or uncertainty about your future. In such cases, GRADUAL change is warranted.

Slowly introduce your new direction into your daily life, and ease out of your old direction slowly. In that way, you won't frighten yourself. AMAZING!

Auds
xoxox

You are correct, it should have been me he apologized too. Another affirmation he is not the man I want to spend my precious time with or invest my precious heart on, nope not in the least.

thanks everyone for your comments...it has been a long confusing hard harsh time with mr italy and i dont still capitalize his name. not yet. he is not italian but just got back from italy. as you will remember i use to call him my ex ex i decided to change his name.
to my surprise he called me yesterday as i was ending a conversation with my ex-we will now call him mr truck because i called him because im trying to move and i wanted to borrow his truck. (is that wrong?) but he was very nice- i always leave on good terms and he also suggested he would help me move these boxes..uhh yes im the strong independent woman and yes i could have just rented a truck but seriously im low on money and he needds help with his day in court. so we decided to do an exhange him for his truck and labor and me with my legal advice for his ticket.
so mr italy said he bought some steak and is just home watching the game. it annoys me that he just doesnt come out and ask me to come over but i went over anyway. i was very very late. all the sudden we had role reversal. he is at home with the home cooked meal and i was like 40 minutes late. (hey im gemini- we are always late) he was so mad. you could have called- yadda yadda..i looked at him right in the eyes grabbed him kissed him and i said i am very very sorry that im late- there was traffic. he jumped away and said its just words. so iknew at that point i would not win. he wanted to be drama so i let him have his role. i went grabbed a drink and for the first time in my life i was silent. im in love with him and it was not worth an argument and i was late and i didnt call. i know now for the future.
we had dinner watched football. my favorite. we somehow ended up in his room making out- not sure how. but at the end of the session he started hinting again. ANd i said i dont know why you dont just come out and ask. he said i want to give you an out. i said well..i think you should just ask me. he said- somehting and i knew we were talking about a relationship. (sorry forgot what was said. ) But then he said- im scared. and i said im scared too.i said but when we were going out before. (about a year ago we saw each other for 2 years until he got insecure from his cancer- for those of you who dont know mr italy-aka my ex ex)i said to him you got insecure and he said im insecure? and i said yes, i broke up with you because you started entertaining other women.he said is that what happened ( we never did talk about it- we just stopped seeing one another) i said i broke up with you because i figured id let you go through that and when you wanted to be serious you would let me know. And he said im ready to get serious. i said oh, you mean watch football (it was on in his familyroom) and he said yes,how did you know..i said because i know you.
so we watched football and then his favorite show dancing with the stars..(i dont like that show- but i watch it for him) and we went to bed. This morning we had a nice morning and he made me coffee for the road.
so i still dont capilatiize his name. i dont think of us as together even though he is making tons of effort. because the bottom line is he is still in remission and although i really care about him and he is my best friend- i want whats best for him which could mean he could get insecure and feel not like a man again and once again starts acting out like a boy and seeing all of malibu. I know he is in love with me but....he has to work more im just not going to give it back...

Auds-- i love your post - i can so relate

MESSAGE FROM ANNALISA:

Please post on the boards (NC1 and NC2) that I miss everyone. I’m up to my eyeballs in this project that I’m chairing. I don’t even know which end is up. It’s all great, as this is huge for my career!!! I’m just SWAMPED!!!

I’ve been working on it for a year now and it culminates starting Friday through Tuesday. I have people coming in from all over the world. So exciting but pressure’s on!!!!!

Annalisa.

"Should I go this way or that way"....

Yes, thank you Auds. Very applicable for me these days.

Good Evening All....
Just a brief update once again...as Tim is on his way over....
Had a GREAT Weekend...went out Friday night my girlfriend met Tim's guy friend and they are going out again this Sat.

My girlfriend called me Sat and told me Tim is a "GEM" and that if I ever let him go I am crazy...

He met my daughters and they like him as well, infact my oldest daughter and her husband are coming to my house and I am making dinner for the 4 of us.

We spent the whole weekend together...went to breakfast Sat morning, out dancing Sat night.
Sunday went to the Flight 93 crash landsight...so respectful he was before we entered the Chapel he took his ballcap off...That was the moment I started to realize he is a great catch...as I am as well..

Came back to my place he mowed my lawn...worked around my place and guess what I never even had to ask him..not even a hint!

I hope I NEVER have to post on Robins N/C Thread again...but I still read it EVERYDAY...

Widow Mom

Saucy...
Thanks for the message you posted on AnnaLisa.

Got a question for you...how do you do the Bold Print?

You are also an Inspiration on these boards...I always look forward to reading your posts!

Cheers
Widow Mom

bold

insert your text then no spaces between symbols and text.

bold

pink

There is a thread on here that linnie started about it.

http://www.datingwithoutdrama.com/content/being-creative-with-your-text-...

WOW he sounds like a good man widow mom....i love how you have him doing yardwork and you didnt even have to ask..or hint...

uhm i need tips on how THAT happened...for sure i can tell you here you cannot find a man that is jsut going to come over and help out...

and on the lighter side of having to go through the pain of writing on Robins site it means that we are living life and we have to go through the pains a few times until we find our own gem....

i cant say i want to write on it but it most likely will happen i just hope more later then sooner....

IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU WIDOW MOM...sounds awesome

ROBIN you are hilarious...can you do one in yellow.... : ) hahahha the friendly color

Go WidowMom

Hey Girls,

I could be on my way over to this thread.

Hows it going RobinCarolina?

Going great ca, we would be happy to see you over here. Sounds like you are working it all out. Hang in there!

Robincarolina,

I think its finished.

Okay, now Robin is just showing off LOL with all the fancy colours and bolds LOL

And WIDOW MOM I want to know YOUR secret. You seem to have no trouble meeting men and they are gaga over you.

What is it ? Allure, by Chanel ? LOL

buffoon did my yardwork without even being asked... first time he was up to my place, he did it ! did all kinds of stuff, even helped the neighbours out.

I think its just the nature of the particular guy.

I hope he is doing well, really, I do. I want the best for him. He's not inherently a bad guy. Just really screwed up, and a prisoner to alcoholism.

I'm doing GGGRRREAT ! Hot and heavy with an old friend.... calls, texts, emails so far...but the chemistry and connection is HOT. Its like a steam train going down the track..and you know you can't stop it !!!

I'm building up my man rotation :)