my dilemma , i am so stuck :(((

Hello Paige,

I am reading all the emails you send to me and thank you very much indeed.. I would like to share and ask you about my problem...

It is really long story because it has been 1,5 years but I will cut it down. I met this guy through Facebook and we kept on speaking since then. At first he was sending me messages everyday and like every hour but then naturally it slightly decreased after a while, yet the corresponding continued quite heavily.. I actually liked it and we created a good friendship and enjoyed talking with each other... Once he told me ( when we first started to chat) he broke up with his girlfriend 6 months ago, which lasted 6 years.. But he also told me he didnt see her a lot because she was living in South Africa and he was in th UK. By the way, when we first started this chatting I was in Turkey and he was in th UK. Then months went by and I came UK to have my masters degree.. Before I came, he told me that he was going to show me around but of course I didnt trust it at all, I mean I have always got the sensible side that not to trust everything I heard. However, this was what he has done, telling me nice things like he really cares and really is going to be my friend.

Then we met and had a really great time.. We went ice-skating, bowling,drank beers and chatted and at the end we went to a coffee shop to relax.. He accompanied me till home and he texted me when he got home and said he had a great time and wanted to see me again soon. He even texted me with no reason just to ask how I am couple of days later.. And of course we we were still chatting online as well.. However, we were busy with our exams and couldnt see each other, and by the way we are not living in the same place but the distance between 2 cities is only 1 hour and he has got a car.. Anyway, he messaged me we must meet again soon after we finished our exams.. But then the christmas time came and he didnt say anything about joining together but of course it would be too early to be together on a day like that, but I felt alone because all my friends in school left to go home, hopefully I found an old friend of mine in London and went to visit him..Afterwards the new year night plans came and he didnt say anything about it too.. I said he can come to my city and we can arrange to go and celebrate it because I was really alone or I can go to his city.. But he didnt really respond at all and found excuses and I told him it is ok and was sure he wouldnt came here anyway.. He said he would come but he wasnt sure if I really wanted to see him because I wasnt sending him enough message at all.. Well, he was right, I wasnt sending him a lot messages but that was because of him, cos he was constantly sending messages and I thought this was ok.. But I said sorry and will try to fix it.. However, we didnt spend new years night together, he was with his friends in a local club and hopefully i found some friends from school to celebrate...

As we agreed I started to send him messages too, and also mentioned that I really wanted to see him and spend more time with him... On january, we couldnt meet because he said he spend too much money on xmas gifts, but then february, march and april passed on and of course there was really busy times due to our course works but I believe we could see each other and he didnt make any real effort to see me again.. He just said he wanted to come visit me again and he was constantly sending me messages as well... He even was sending messages from his work place just to ask what was I doing or how I was... Also, he started to call me 'babe'...And I started not to study properly because I was chatting with him.. I felt so stupid because I was like speaking with a computer and there was not any real friendship in real life.. Then I decided to tell my feelings to him and wrote him an email saying it has been too long we have seen each other and I am feeling that he didnt want to see me again and also what we share with the corresponding and the real life does not match each other. I also mentioned I am not trying to be his girlfriend but I just wanted to get to know him better by spending time in real life because I believe it is the only way to get to know a person and thought we had a good time when we first met. but also said I got bored of this situation and if he is not going to make it this we should stop it...He said he is sorry if I felt like that and he would try to arrange a meeting again to see me and also he said he did like me and care about me and I shouldnt think that he doesnt.. Couple of days later he send me message from his work place to ask how I was and he was busy with his course work and work that he couldnt wait end of his course..

However, about 4-5 days later I saw his facebook status saying he had fun times at thorpe park.. (Thorpe Park is a theme park which is very near to my city!!!!) He probably went there with his friends I dont know, but I went extremely angry this time.. Because he was telling he was busy but he actually told me lies!! It has been 5 months since we have first met and couldnt believe there was no time for us to meet...By the way, that day he sent me message sayin 'hey!' and i didnt respond right away, after 1,5 hours pastI just said 'hey...'. From this time, it has been a week, we didnt speak again.. I also change my status saying bad things about liars! :D I think he understood but he seems so careless or wants to show himself like that..

This is my story and my question is, should I write him a goodbye letter or let it go.. Because if I let this go, it seems like I have still got space for him and waiting a message from him someday... But if I send him an ending mail, can it be seem I make this issue overstated in my mind?? And I think he doesnt really want to meet with me, does he, dont you think? I dont know who the hell he is properly, I dont know his friends and family, he seems like he is hiding something but he didnt never want to finish with me when I act distant several times.. But I would really like to know what was the reason as it has been 1,5 years since we have been corresponding... I dont know how I feel, sometimes I am glad this is over (if it is..) but sometimes I feel sorry... And there is a feeling that I should make him sorry for this too.. He always seemed cared about me like remembering key dates, complementing on me or even helping with my course work..but all of them was only online!!! :///

I will be really greatful if you can answer my dilemma,

Best wishes,
Nil