my date wasnt able to perform in the bedroom
Sat Jun 06 2009 - 08:22 pm
I met this guy at work, and I started to fancy him, so managed to get his number and text him to ask him stuff about our sales report etc. We then started to flirt with each other and he asked me if I fancy coming over to his for a drink. I was over the moon!
Then a week later, I asked him if he wanted to go a work party with me, even though he didnt seem keen on going, he agreed.We had a great time that night.
As I had a couple of drinks that night I stayed at his house. We kissed each other and were going to have sex but he has a problem of not being able to perfom even though he tried hard. He explained to me that in the past that has been a problem in his relationships.
I know its wrong to have even try to sleep on my first night out. But now he is not texting me as before and every time I text him asking him if he was to go for a drink or to a club; he has an excuse.
I am so confused now, I dont know if he still fancies me and feels embarrased to what happened in the bedroom.
I really want to date him and see if things can work out but not sure what I should do.
Please help
Sat Jun 06 2009 - 09:53 pm
Well, first of all there is no right or wrong, however with most men if they can have sex on the first date they don't come back? It is possible that he is a little embarrased, but men have such big egos, so Im thinking thats not it. Don't go where you are wondering if you are wanted or not. If he wanted to get to know you better he would call or text you. Sounds like he has nothing but excuses for you! Maybe he is just not the right man for you. Take your time and relax. Date some other guys and see what happens. Good Luck
Sun Jun 07 2009 - 07:36 am
Not saying this is your issue, but maybe you just didn't do it for him, maybe he is not the type that has sex on the first date, maybe he holds a particular belief about women who has sex on the first day which lead to him not being able to perform.
Anything is possible and if indeed he does fancy you, he will contact you. So just chill, continue with your life, after all it was just one date, do not allow yourself to freak out over this one incident.
Something similiar happened to me when I was in my early 20's, he tired and tired, just couldn't do it. Once we stopped, his mother came home, how embarrassing.
I've looked back at the situation a few times over the years and knowing what I now know, I am thankful nothing happen, because something could have happened, which would have been far more surprising then him having mechanical difficulties.
Sun Jun 07 2009 - 05:23 pm
Have you heard the saying, "don't call me!! call viagra!!" ;-)
i definitely wouldn't take this personal ~ i actually had one come out and tell me he can't perform without the drugs.
i find if you make the mistake (and lord knows i do) of sleeping with them too soon, just smile and act like you're sooo cool. then do not call or text them. 9 times out of 10, they will contact you. it make take 2 weeks, but they will!!
he may be embarassed. i think what you can do from here on out is not text, call or email him anymore. you say everytime you ask him out, which leads me to believe that you are doing this a lot more then once and he may be feeling chased. stop!!! let him retreat into his man cave for awhile. he needs that!!
and when you do see him in the future, you can just smile and say, hi and maybe give him a big ole hug!
Wed Jun 10 2009 - 07:58 am
Thanks ever so much for all your comments.
Its really hard to deal with this situation as we work together. I worked with him yesterday and thought I could probably ask him what's happening between us. But I never got a chance as lots of people were around. So when I got home I rang him and said to him that I really enjoyed spending time with him but need to know what's really happening....then there was a long pause.....that after probably 5min(not lying) I asked if he was still there and he said 'he's not interested that way'.
I said ok I thought probably you were embarrased of what happened the night we spent together but he didnt say anything.
He then said he liked the attention he got and that's why he invited me to spend the night at his.
He said we cant have a relationship anyway because we don't know each other that well.
Am devastated that he has reacted that way even though he was the one who texted me saying if i fancy going out for drinks with him.
I think he's confused...I still need to see him at work...I don't really want to speak to him so was going to ignore him completely.
Do you think he will ever change his mind?
Wed Jun 10 2009 - 08:03 am
No, i don't think he will. Besides it would be a waste of your time and emotional energy waiting, hoping and wishing he will:)
Don't ignore him just treat him as you would any of your work mates although not going out of your way. Someone else will come along - keep your eyes open for HIM!
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