My boyfriend was shipped to Afghanistan just 2 months into our relationship
Thu Nov 26 2009 - 04:41 pm
My boyfriend was shipped to Afghanistan just 2 months into our relationship...we decided to be exclusive and wait for each other and not see other people...
In the first few months before he was actually in conflict, his IM's, phone calls and emails were very sweet and caring....now that he is there, he has become less emotional and more focused on sex and will not tell me he loves me...this is making me question his devotion to our agreement and our relationship and is making me needy...any advice on how to cope and deal with this situation...as I have six more months of this....
He does tell me he misses me every day, and still calls me by our cute pet names for each other...AND gets upset when there isn't an email from me every day....but how can I tell him what I need without crowding or alieanating him??
Please help...
Nikole
Tue Dec 01 2009 - 07:12 pm
First of all, being in a combat situation is totally consuming and doesn't really leave time for much else. The fact that he is emailing you everyday is amazing.
Men are more action/sexual creatures than emotional ones. It is not surprising his thoughts are turning to sex as he cannot get any there and there is the real possibility that he may not come back alive.
He is obviously still communicating with you often. He is not pulling away and getting all distant on you. That is what you need to hold on to. There will be time enough for him to tell you he loves you when he gets home. Right now his focus needs to be on his job which is life or death everyday for him and his unit.
As for feeling needy, I can certainly relate to that. Best thing for it is to keep yourself busy and try to not think of him constantly.
Hope that helps. :)
Fri Dec 04 2009 - 02:46 am
Queen, if he is emailing you every day that means he is alive one more day! How can a soldier who's been conditioned to be on alert at all times succumb to emotions? he can't, as that would make him vulnerable when in the line of duty. I know this must be brutally hard on you, being so far apart from each other. I would suggest finding a military support group and there you will find reason. This brave man is going to bed each night probably praying for one more day. Love him and email him the way he needs his woman to help get him through all of this. Remember, as hard as it is for you right now...it's that times 1000 for him! Don't question his love for you, he is there in your heart...he just has an important and tough role to assume right now...back him up! He will not forget that. :)
Fri Dec 04 2009 - 02:48 am
p.s. my brother told me that when he was in Viet Nam, his then fiance (now wife) wrote him every single day and never missed. He said that decades later with tears in his eyes.
Tue Dec 22 2009 - 01:46 am
PirateQueen, How are you holding up? I hope you are finding the support you need...Happy Holidays!
Inspiration Story:
Connect w/ Paige
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
Replies