My parents were together till they died. They were best friends and intallectuals. Both good looking, both from wealthy families who met in the navy.Mum would often critisise me but I can see now why she said some things. My dad was old school, we had to stand when mum came in the room, never swear and ask her if we could start our meal.Mum was a shocking flirt and never a strong person.I was closer to my Dad but not sure why!

Dad taught me I guess how women should be treated

Mum told me not to throw myself away

That EMPTY CANS MAKE THE MOST NOISE

she told me I would find love but I looked in the wrong places

and that girls who drank and stayed out late would look old when they were 30

and she said life was hard and to grab the moments of happiness with both hands

My daughter I encouraged to be her best and to go for her goals. I told her not to throw herself away too. I also taught her to SHOP!

My mum still advises me when i have a date, not to drink too much and just have them as a friend to begin with, but i always mess up, i am the black sheep i guess!

My mother taught me dedication... but distance too... two interesting aspects to find as a pair.

I KNOW that when children come into this world they are the new and ready to improve - versions of ourselves. They lead us into the future - literally by the way in which we have to meet THEIR needs. If we can do this despite our (some) societal 'changes' then we are indeed developing ourselves.

My daughter learns a lot, the main ability that tends to shine at the moment is confidence in her self worth... so I'm hoping this continues into these other areas of her life as she travels/ journeys through life. I'm pretty sure it will. :)

Hi wise_until_th..,
How lucky you are to have a mum like yours and what good advice she brings! At the contrary mine was absent during my childhood; either full of self-pity, unsatisfaction, ego or unkindness. Spoiled as she was when growing up she had learned tricks to get what she wanted, tricks how to get a man interested in her, picking everything there was to pick (with or without giving him sex in return)then trow him away. Hard words? I don't think so. You realize that this game has nothing to do with love. We, ordinary women are looking for love - from one man. You probably wont be surprised when I tell you that the first words my mother told me when I met my first boyfriend was: "Men are only after one thing?" Back then I didn't understand it, my boyfriend wasn't like that, and believe me, noone after him. Having a raw-model like my mum, life becomes difficult. Cold blooded parents may destroy you whole life. Look at Jane Fonda. I understand her so much and her too much looking good dad Henry, who made the mum take her life and scared away one or two step mothers. I ended up in a marriage with abuse and finally got out of it, no thanks to my mum, my sister helped me and my dear grandma who is not alive but the memory of her lightens up my life. Now I've finally found a man who is normal, loving, listeing and caring. I didn't think this was possible for me. Thank's to Paige Parkers datingwithoutdrama e-book I have learnt most of the tools to find a good man, making him dating me and hold on to me. Because I wanna keep him. When he discovered I was serious in my intentions he had either to take it or run away. He stayed. I am so grateful to Paige. Her advice has really heped me so I'm gonna tell the story about how me met him and how I made him go further on with me by handling the situation step by step.

bornlola-

I like that expression - the empty cans make the most noise. never heard that expression before

I never had a close relationship with my mother, but understand she had to be a wife, mother and herself during very hard times. I often think she could have done better, but believe she did the best she could with what she had.

I have two daughters. They are 8 and 10 years old, a little over 3 years ago I learned their dad was not only having an affair; he was also taking my girls to this so called friend of his and introducing her as his best friend. He wanted to live a double life and that's when I realized I needed to end my marriage not only for me but for them as well. I did not want my daughters to grow up thinking it was acceptable for a man to have a family and a "girlfriend" I loved my ex more than myself at the time. I later learned this was a great mistake. I did what I had to do, my daughters are very smart and understand why. They love their daddy to death but clearly undestand why Mami can't be with him. I believe my daughters have learned self respect from me. I must say I know have great self esteem and don't allow negativity in my life...

Great story Gigio. Full of strength, courage, dignity and guts! Your daughters are truly lucky to have such a great mother!

My parents have been married for over 50 years. I saw many hard times and struggles with the two of them and could feel the doubts they had on occasion. They taught me that relationships are work and if you truly love each other you do the work. My husband and I were married for 27 years and through a whole lot a life, ups and downs, ins and outs I always looked and thought of him like the day I married him. He's deceased now died at 47 years old due to his hard living. The last date I had I was at 18 years old, I had no idea how to date! Paige's e-book and e-mails have absolutely taught me to honor myself and my individuality first, I'm so grateful I've found her.

Great topic. No, my mother did not share any pearls of wisdom with me and she did not provide a good example for my sister and I. She is a good person, but she is an enabler and does not take care of herself first in meaningful ways.

My mom did not have any pearls of wisdom for me whatsoever about dating. In flawed relationship after flawed relationship, she has kept her mouth totally shut and never voiced displeasure with my guys until after I had broken up with them, only to ask me, "Why were you with so-and-so for so long? You were totally wrong for each other." Too little, too late, mom.

My learning about men has had to come as doing the opposite of what my mom does with my dad. She is a nitpicker and emasculator and they constantly argue. My dad looks constantly burdened as he has no soft place to fall between demands at work and jabs from my mom. I grew up thinking men were to be "fixed" and "molded" and "trained." Regardless, somehow they have been together 30 years. I really don't know how they do it sometimes--they seem to genuinely care for each other at times and other times they're at each other's throat.

So I have learned how to date almost exclusively through much trial and error, reading books, including DWD and Why Men Marry/Love Bitches, seeing mistakes my friends have made, and listening to what guy friends have told me. I also took two classes on understanding men through Alison Armstrong and PAX Programs, because I really was clueless on why things kept going wrong in all of my relationships with men, romantic and otherwise.

I have learned to change a lot of my behaviors and it has benefited me greatly. Still out there searching for a partner but it's much more fun and less anxiety-inducing now, and the quality of men coming my way is improving the more specific I am about what I want. So we'll see what happens...but enjoying the journey.

Some really interesting stories on here, obvious that our upbringings affect us all, either in a positive or negative way.

My mum and dad had a fantastic marriage for over 30 years and were very much in love, they even held hands sitting watching tv lol, unfortunetely my dad passed away 10 years ago which devestated us all, especially my mum, I know he was the only man she has ever been with and she still finds it hard even now. Sometimes I think the reason i'm still single is I haven't found anyone as good as him!

My mum always say you have to work at a relationship/marriage, you cant just sit back and expect it all to be perfect!
then again she also keeps tellig me i go to the wrong places?? and up until a little while ago she still thought that men still asked women to dance (in that old fashioned way...) bless.

I know, it seems much harder, now, doesn't it?! My parents met because my dad asked my mom to dance. I guess the equivalent now is...being approached by someone at a bar? Doesn't have the same romance, does it? ;)

tinydancer - your right, it is a lot harder now! my parents actually met at a sausage factory haha, they both worked there!
I haven't been approached at a bar in ages.....then again not really been to a bar in ages :)