Long Distance
Tue Nov 17 2009 - 12:31 pm
Hi all
I am pretty new to this so please bear with me.
I am really upset at the moment, and yes you have guessed it, its due to guy trouble.
I have known this man through the internet for over 2 years and he has quite a high profile job where he lives.
We iniatially met through a social networking site and he sent me lovely emails telling me about his life and how he wanted to meet me etc. we then statrted talking on msn and then due to being busy he would sometimes not talk to me for awhile. we did talk on the phone sometimes with me iniiating the contact quite alot of the time, if Im honest.
We would often be out of touch at times for periods and I would just get on with my life, but he was in the back of my mind alot.
About 6 months ago, he gave me another msn address and we would talk whilst he did his radio show and I thought we really got close. He said he would really like to come over and see me , so we set the date for the end of October.We spoke on the saturday bnefore he was coming telling me he needed to sort out something that had come up with his son but would let me know the new details of the flight, he initiated the conversations alot in this time I might add, !
He didnt come on line so I called him and he told me that he was definitely still coming and that he would email me the details, and then no show, and I am devastated, not even a call or an email to explain why? I am confused, help
Tue Nov 17 2009 - 01:05 pm
#2
Thanks Smiler 101, the thing is I have had other offers but nothing I want to pursue, but I am going to get myself out there, when I feel abit more up to it. The thing is not sure why someone would say they are coming and they are not but still
Tue Nov 17 2009 - 01:10 pm
#3
I don't know either, doesn't make sense, does it? Some people are just liars or cowards I guess :-(
It's weird, but it is possible that as soon as you start taking your mind of this one guy and concentrating on other things, and going out and meeting others, the first one might actually get his act together - in which case *you* can decide whether you still want to bother or not after he's messed you around.
The other side of the coin is - if you don't hear from him then you will have moved on anyway and no longer care.
Tue Nov 17 2009 - 01:16 pm
#4
The thing is if I see him online again Im not sure how to act apart from being really angry and upset, I also deleted him on msn and I know he deleted me off one of his contacts, so that upsets me too.
Wed Nov 18 2009 - 05:55 am
#5
Well, if he makes you that angry and upset then the answer is simple: just ignore him. Delete him permanently. Why waste your energy with a douche bag who makes you feel like this?
Think of it another way: Hate is not the opposite of love, INDIFFERENCE is. Show him some indifference and get on with the rest of your life.
Wed Nov 18 2009 - 06:04 am
#6
I know this is really hard to take. Take a big deep breath, and exhale! There are some really good learnings here for you. One of the most important lessons is: Only put out emotional energy onto a real relationship. I know that seems cruel and hurtful but this was only ever an imaginary relationship. Only give your precious woman energy to a man you have met and also a man who deserves you.
Wed Nov 18 2009 - 08:33 am
#7
Thanks for your replies ,it has really helped me through this, and made me laugh a little too (douche bag lol), thanks again, I am great woman and I deserve the best x
Hi Katie
Hon, I'm sorry about what has happened, and I'm going to be blunt here :-(
If I understand it, not only has the majority of the communication been innitiated by you, but you haven't met this man in the flesh yet?! (or at most you've only met face-to-face once or twice?!). Sweetie I hate to say it, but any 'relationship' you have with this man is in your head/in cyberspace. It is not a real relationship.
Whilst it may seem odd for a man to say such nice and seemingly sincere things via email/when chatting on MSN, the fact is that unless the things he says are backed by ACTIONS (i.e. he actually makes proper plans to see you FACE to FACE and follows through), then it all means nothing. At the moment, all indications are that he sees you as just someone nice to chat to online but nothing more. Or at least he's not prepared to put in the EFFORT to make it something more - in which case, don't waste your time on him.
Believe me, a few years ago I did the whole internet dating thing and encountered a few men like this. They were happy to chat or whatever, but nothing further ever happened. With hindesight I suspect a couple of them were even married!
There is nothing wrong with continuing to chat to this guy online and keeping the door open, but until he gets off his arse and makes a proper effort to form a real relationship, please don't waste any more of your precious time and emotions on him. Go out there and date other guys - preferrably ones who live nearer.