Hey Horsecrazy

That's a cool idea - set clear definitions in your own mind of what you expect from a guy, and sorry but if he doesn't step up to these then he's not good enough for you! :-)

Only thing is, I think you also have to be open-minded: for example, I've always tended to go for tall men but it's turned out that the love of my life isn't.

Maybe you could also make a list of deal-breakers - things you absolutely shouldn't or won't put up with under any circumstances?

lol i know i made the list very specific because i'm still getting over my ex and he had it all... its just that we met at the wrong time and we lived too far away. :(

It's sad when you think you have found the perfect man and then you end up realizing that he's not. It's even sadder when they don't make an effort to improve, so it will be the same w/every woman they meet. They don't have to change for a woman but improve for themselves but they just don't learn from their mistakes. In the meantime, we women are over here reading, exploring, learning to not make the same mistakes over again. I just don't get it sometimes.

I hear ya, Sweetcheeks. It's frustrating when many women spend a lot of time trying to learn and grow and evolve, and so many men seem to just keep doing the same fool things over and over with every girl, and then blame all women rather than turning the mirror on themselves. It's an ego thing. It usually seems to take some major life change or trauma for a lot of guys to wake up and realize they might need to make some adjustments in their own personalities/lifestyles.

Unfortunately some guys never go through a major life change/trauma and just end up getting super set in their ways and then end up alone, or in dysfunctional relationships.

I know several guys who are decent guys but have total potty mouths, no style, big beer bellies or are just plain overweight, work all the time yet are still broke, don't know how to talk to a woman like she's a human being at all, and they sit there scratching their heads on why they aren't getting laid. And then they blame women and call them superficial and only care about money/power.

Yet these are the same guys who won't look at a girl who has less than a C cup, and who only want to date models.

Please!

I'd like to add onto the list of a perfect man:

-Has technique in bed. Is comfortable with what he has "to offer" if you catch my drift, and knows how to use it. Actually cares that the woman gets hers before the night is through, doesn't just hop out of bed when he's done and leave her lying there.

Morning,

I am a strong believer in chemistry and connection meaning a man that is into any woman will take her into consideration in bed, will make sure he shows how much she means to him by satisfying her needs. I also believe with that chemistry growing stronger between a couple a little touch can send the other into outerspace, bang zoom to the moon.

I only had one guy tell me I made him weak in the knees when I kissed him, told me, "that is supposed to happen to women, not men, I guess I am the woman." Short lived chemistry, but I am looking for that again, I am looking for the man that makes me tongue tied when I talk and one that makes me tingle from deep within, which is what I felt with the other Mr. Houdini. I truly wanted to explore what the feeling was all about. We don't see each other any longer but see each other in passing and I always get the feeling he still is interested in me and since men go by visual, well umm. I do like the feeling that somehow he is still somewhat protective of me, even if just for the moment.

Anyhoo, a man must absolutely must tickle my funny bone, he has to be silly and goofy when appropriate, has to work at building me up when he sees me down and has to have a plan for life, not following a pipedream. The way he handles the EX and children if he has them, is the way he will handle me, he has to be kind towards them, respect the fact the EX is the mother of his children and live up to his responsibilities as a man.

He has to be open enough to share his emotions and not the girly man side of him, yuck, the whining little boy types can take a hike, but a man who knows he can come to me with a problem if for nothing more than just to be his sounding board.

Above all he has to be a man of challenge, seeking to improve, experiment and explore other possibilites in life and willing to try something new and has the utmost respect for himself, with respect for himself he most likely will respect me.

It seems men of today have lost the concept of what it is to be a man, they run wild and free like a pack of wild ogs in the streets, they do not understand that the cussing, scratching, *arting is a true turn off to most women. But then there are some women so happy to have a man in her life she will even take a stray home, which I think the primary cause of such dysfunction in a man we woman allowing a man to behave so badly towards us he starts to believe just about all women will torelate his bad behavior. And when she doesn't he just moves to a woman who will, no reason for him to change because a woman out there some where will take him as is.

If a woman does present a challenge, set boundaries and standards more often maybe a man will learn he has to change in order to get the ultimate top prize, a GODDESS!

I totally agree with the above post.

And it's my theory that women can accomplish the boundary setting and putting standards in place only after we've released that fear of being alone. So many women will put up with bad behavior with men just so they can have someone "there." Only to realize later he was never really there, he's moved on to the next girl and treats her badly.

That's what I've been working on so much the past year--getting over that fear of being alone. But I have a lot of friends and so I'm not really alone--just unattached. Which is okay! Having a partner is wonderful but only if it's the right fit. If it's not, it becomes so much more of a headache than just being single, in my experience.

We also have to get over the fear of being alone because only then can you really set your boundaries and stick to them. It's hard to stick to "I only have sex in the context of a relationship" when you haven't had any in awhile and you're hanging around with some really cute guy. And it's hard to stick to "I only accept dates by phone, I don't want texts all the time" when you have a real attraction with someone and you don't want them to leave.

But I'm learning more and more that those things don't cause the guy to leave. If he's into you, he'll make those phone calls willingly. If he's into you, he will wait for sex and not pressure you. If does not want to be with you, or is unable/unwilling to be in a relationship, he will run the other way faster after you give him requirements. And that's exactly what you want!

This is a great idea. I think being positive is the most important thing to being happy and getting out of life what you want. If any of you have ever read the secret its the same concept. The universe brings you what you are asking for. So that is my resolution this year. To focus on what I have and what I want to be in my life. And what Tiny says is so true - if you don't let a man know what you want and what you expect, how are you to ever get it from him and if he runs the other way - then so be it.

My guy can have me rolling with laughter to the point of coughing fits on my part.

He is thoughtful.

He is kind and considerate to his ex and he loves his step son. He is very loyal to his friends.

He is a very considerate and romantic lover. He makes my toes curl! ;-)

Ok here is my list and I hope it works!!!!
1: Be at least 6ft tall and under 6'5"
2: Have a open mind about kids
3: Have a open mind about marrige
4: Be emotionally available
5: Have a personality that can be both fun and serious
6: Be caucasuan
7: Be a gentleman
8: Have a good body
9: Have a nice face
10: Have a job
11: The job can't be Mcdonalds
12: Be sweet
13: Be mature (wow I would of forgotten that one too! thanks!)
14: Not be married or have a secret girlfriend or want me to be the secret!

Hope it works!!!!

-He loves God and likes and shows he loves my child
-be patient in all areas
-comuniations
-Goes of his way to see me
-we are on the same page, have list in front of when talk on the phone make a list of possible confussion that might arise
-discus morals and values right off the bat then gauge from there...
- I am so old fashion on getting of my cookies,commit and prove it
-chemistry and connection good thing
-wake up and want me as one the first.. he wants to call and at the end of the day
-I like the feeling that he is protective of me, but not jealous.or am his possion the bad way.
-a man who makes me laugh and me him.
-have a sable sense for life, -
-live up to his responsibilities as a man.
-He has to be open enough to share his emotions not whinne
-a real gentleman that opens up doors and opens my car door in and out
-loves fishing, horseback riding
-emotionally available and interested in me to where he wants to commit to
-a good, healthy social life
-enjoy dancing,
-likes a varity of music you can understand old school here
-is happy in life and likes the person he is and is proud what he has and will accomplished. but not boast about it
-likes our dog
-A cowboy (but not a hick)
-without an emotional baggagede,
-is creative
- of love the diffents arts
- allow me to be soically involed in his business, goes out of his way to be with me.
-To not feel he is ashamed of me to his family or friends tell them sometime.
-likes the good things in life and want to share them with you.
-make me feel like a queen to him,but be a man about it
-give me flowers candy tresure my hoilday excitment but I am loke child in a candy store...

More tommorrow....

LB45