just general advice....

That kind of attention after just one date does seem a bit silly :)

Don´t get me wrong. Interest is good, but goofy la-la is bad. Might be that you are attracting the wrong kind of guy. My guess is that they are living in their fantasies, and they will flake once reality catches up.

If you want to go slooooow, you just need to weed out the fast guys. It's a number game, so don't give up, just view it more as a selection procedure. Maybe figure out how to weed them out sooner....

Of course, these guys might just be trying to bed you, and these "tricks" have worked on other women before you.

Yep.  Similar boat.  I think one thing we have an issue with is if these guys come on so mushy and strong - texting nonstop like they're already in a relationship - it makes us wonder whether (1) they are being genuine or (2) if they do this with all women.

It's a little like a woman who gives it up too easily, right? :)

I just have to tell guys after the first or second date that I prefer to take things slow and get to know them.  If they want to do something physical then I just say "I really like spending time with you but I am not ready yet for that."  Very few understand/comprehend; it seems to make the majority of them insecure and go crazy.  I figure they just don't get me, and if they don't get me, then well, they don't "get me."  Get it? :)

The only thing I say is that while it's great you are going out and meeting these men, give them a chance (if you see any potential).  You may find something worthwhile.

Females are the relationship-pickers both in humans and animals. Not just relationship-pickers, but also the ones who set the pace. How often we read here 'he came on all strong in the beginning and then it all went pear-shaped'.

It is normal for males to come on strong in the beginning and it is female's responsibility to slow him down. Is it fair? No, not really. Is the law of gravitation fair? No, I would so much better like to fly around like a bird with the greatest of ease. Some things just are.

It takes a lot of confidence and very good boundaries to set the pace in the early relationship. The core of it is: in the early dating/mating game only do what you feel comfortable with; only allow what you feel comfortable with; only respond to when you feel comfortable with. If you are confused whether to do something or not, this is your clue: you are uncomfortable with that something, listen to that inner feeling. Ignore the rest, don't worry whether you look like a bitch or whether he thinks you don't like him or anything else for that matter. At that early stage, he is not your friend, all you need to do is look into yourself and listen to how you really feel. If you feel uncomfortable in-between the dates, this is your clue: this man is very unlikely to be a mate that gives you the stability that you want. 

That is why sometimes sex in the first date leads to successful long-term relationships and sometimes a disaster: it isn't the sex itself, it is how comfortable the woman is with herself, why she had sex in the first place. It is the same with EVERYTHING. Do what your authentic self is comfortable with and you are very unlikely to get it wrong. 

The problem is when women for whatever reasons don't trust their feelings and get confused what they are really comfortable with, for example if  they are chronic people pleasers, if they are scared to be alone, if they feel they need a boyfriend because they are the only one in their class who doesn't have one :). They are confused by their own signals, no surprise they confuse men with the signals they are giving out.

Men often say they like confident women. I believe that they mean women who are comfortable with themselves, who are really in touch with their authentic self and who are consistent, whose behaviour doesn't get thrown by every little thing.

For me the essence of the whole thing was articulated by an evolutionary psychologist I very briefly VLDDd last year. We were kissing really really REALLY passionately at the end of the 2nd date, but I did not want to ask him in and I told him so. We kept kissing, my knees went weak. I said 'You are not making it very easy for me (to not ask you in)'. His response 'It is not my job to help you'. (He said it in a very very sexy tone, so it didn't sound quite so cruel :). And by the way, I did NOT ask him in :))) 

That is in essence the message: in the early mating/dating stage you cannot expect a man to 'help' you. YOU need to do what is right for YOU.

VLDD- very long distance dating