I SLEPT WITH HIM ON THE 1ST DATE! YIKES!
Mon Jul 27 2009 - 02:37 pm
OK, yes, I know that's a big NO-NO, and I realize I've made a mistake. So, how do I resolve this issue and where do I go from here? We have such incredible chemistry! The next day, he texted a few times, but never called. He doesn't seem to ever call...he just texts me. Should I call this date and guy a mistake and move on? He's said at dinner that he was "ready for a commitment", but his actions don't necessarily speak that to me, unless he's just not into me. Do I not call or text? Do I just sit back and wait? It's frustrating, because I'm insane about this guy! I'm never like that and it feels like he plays games! Can someone help? Thanks!
Mon Jul 27 2009 - 04:32 pm
If he aint calling and only texting that aint a good sign to me. But this has been that way from the start so I dunno. I think people who text are not really interested in having long conversations with you, they do it because the are bored and think if they say hey in a text that keeps the conversation to the bare minimum.
Why is he not using him minutes or spending a few dollars on you by calling you, if he was that interested the prize of gaining your love and affection should be enough for him to spend a few buck, by hearing your voice.
Just don't contact him, if he's truly interested he will contact you and if he doesn't it aint a great loss as you haven't invested to much time and energy with him.
Sleeping with him on the 1st date is a question you have to ask your self, if your comfortable with it who are we to judge?
Mon Jul 27 2009 - 06:34 pm
Don't beat yourself up about it. Also DON'T contact him. If you never hear from him again, you know he was only in it for sex. If he REALLY wants to explore a relationship with you, even sleeping with him on the 1st date won't deter him. It may put him off a bit, (I know double-standard), but he wouldn't stop all contact with you.
No judgment here; I have been in the same boat. However, I have, myself, always felt bad about it later. I'm tired of awkward next mornings and wondering if you'll ever hear from the guy again.
For myself, I made a pact with myself that I will no longer be having sex outside of a relationship. It will mean less sex but it will also mean less worry and stress, and more potential to find the right guy for me.
Tue Aug 04 2009 - 06:15 pm
Thanks, all! If you go into the "Dating" forum, you'll see the whole story of what happened. I so very much appreciate your time in writing me back with your thoughts.
Your friend,
Sue
Mon Sep 07 2009 - 11:33 pm
I'll jump to the full story but wanted to say 'hey.. he also slept with you on the first date'.
I wouldn't worry.. he may feel a bit slutty himself.. I have worked with guys all my life and they do feel that way too.
I would have texted 'call me when free' and you have opened the door to that. Don't text back anything after that.
Then in conversation say 'hey things went a little fast.. didn't mean to get swept up but I the chemistry was just really good that night'.
Then open the door to having a more sensible date like dinner/movie etc.
Then try to stick to that for the next few dates.
I think it is so recoverable as I have seen other women then act like a permanent booty call thinking that will hook him given it went physical straight away.
Anyone agree??
Thu Sep 17 2009 - 01:40 am
A guy feeling slutty? lol...I don't ever think so! ;)
Thu Sep 17 2009 - 09:04 am
lil darlin,
I don't think so either!
Tue Oct 13 2009 - 12:45 am
He is textin at least but he would call to. Some guys play it cool for a while. That way they don't get scared right off the bat..
Tue Oct 13 2009 - 11:52 am
These days, I don't think that texting = less interested necessarily, but I also see calling as more of a sign of interest. I think for guys it's less of a rejection if you don't return a text than if you don't return a call so it is their way of playing it "cool."
I also think that a guy will sleep with you on the 1st, 2nd or 3rd date and then reject you b/c you slept with him too soon (forgetting that he did the same).
I just started dating someone, and I DID NOT sleep on the 1st date with the guy (we still haven't slept together and he's willing to wait!:)) but believe me, he'd have slept with me on the 5th date if I'd said that's what I wanted. Anyway, he only texted (rather than called) for like the first month and he was very interested. A few weeks into it, twice, when we'd text back and forth, I'd actually call him and just have a 1/2 hr conversation and once made a comment like "you're not much of a phone talker, huh?" and he said "no, I am...but I just prefer talk in person. Plus, b/c of your work schedule, you can't really talk during the day so I text."
Once I gave him a good luck card when he was going to be out of town for a business trip and he called to thank me about that and then called once more after that and then we spent some more time together and last night, he called and we talked on the phone for 2 hours just sharing stuff about our past! :) So, he kind of had to be eased into it...but the point is that he was/is a chronic texter but was still very interested. :) A lot of it is luck and some strategy. :)
Fri Oct 16 2009 - 08:21 pm
Hi UsuallyGotIt2Gether
I am in the same boat. For the past 3 months a UPS driver had been stopping in and delivering packages about 6 times in that period. He would say nice little comments that told me he was interested. Finally I got the courage to give him my number. He called me after 5 mins and he asked me out. After that we texted back and forth the entire day. I met him for drinks and the chemistry was so intense. When we had sex he seamed to be very into me. He texted the next day and asked me to have a great day and he had fun... I waited for about two hours and texted back. Then I waited a day then I sent a text to him Have a great day... he returned it and said have a great weekend. (code for don't expect me to contact you this weekend) I know the ball is in his court but... I know I won't text him or call. I feel that maybe if I held out he would be interested. Now... we wait and see...
Fri Oct 16 2009 - 08:23 pm
Hey is there a blog to decode what men are really saying... if not I think there should be one.
Inspiration Story:
Connect w/ Paige
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