The I love you dilemma
Thu Nov 12 2009 - 02:09 pm
I have been dating a great guy for 3 months now. We have slept together and everything is awesome. He is very considerate, we see eachother every chance we can. When we are together "that way" he stares deep into my eyes, strokes my hair and tells me how beautiful I am and how lucky he feels to be with me; I just feel all those emotions and I want to hear him say those three words..... Is there a time line where those words should be exchanged do you think? I think everything is so good and perhaps I'd feel better if I heard the words. I'm too afraid to say them first!!!
Anyone else in the same situation?
Thu Nov 12 2009 - 02:30 pm
#2
Dear margaret_64,
Relax, just enjoy yourself and don't try to find a reason to be dissatisfied. It is so easy to just say the words, it is the actions that count. So many women on this forum have told stories how their man said 'I love you' and then left within a week.
The main reason you shouldn't say it first is that then he is under pressure to say it too. If he then responds when he isn't ready, he will feel uncomfortable; if he doesn't say it back, let's face it all hell will break loose :).
Enjoy your lovely relationship and be happy!!! I am most certainly very happy for you.
Thu Nov 12 2009 - 03:35 pm
#3
Thanks for the comments and the words "relax and enjoy"....which is what I am trying to do. Because when I'm with him I feel relaxed and joyful! I know that the three words are just that "words". My ex-husband used to use those words so freely, but honestly they meant nothing to me in the end, because his actions did not match up. And that IS what it is all about....actions! I will enjoy the relationship and let it progress naturally.
Thanks again....it's so nice to get the positive feedback. It has made me feel really good. :)
Thu Nov 12 2009 - 07:31 pm
#4
Margaret, it's only been three months, so relax and just keep enjoying things. Sometimes when you give up your attachment to something, often it pops up - and it's usually when you least expect it.
If you can keep eye contact during sex, then that sometimes spurs a man on to say the words.
However, I'm sure you will hear the words!
Margaret
Most definately i feel the same way... We dated for a year and now exclusively for 4 months. I know the feelings are there but mos def WILL NOT say that 1st!
I dont know the timeline either... However I advise not to say this first. This could scare a man away!
When he is ready he'll say it to you 1st!
Best of luck!