I am so confused.
Sat Jul 11 2009 - 08:44 pm
Hi Everyone,
I have been seeing this guy for a few months now. It’s a LD relationship, we emailed and texted each other most of the time. So far, we have only met up for 3 times. He seemed to have a very busy life. He still keeps emailing and texting me saying miss me etc. once a while. I missed him a lot too.
Recently he has been so busy and never seem to be able to make up time for me. I feel very frustrated. He does not share his news with me as much as before when we first started. So I am being negative, assuming he has another woman etc. And he is not very happy with me asking those questions.
We were planned to meet up this weekend, however, on Thursday night when I contacted him, he said he found out he couldn’t make it, and of course, I was very disappointed and questioned him. He then said he was very tired, not in a mood to defend himself all night. Wait until he has time and not that grumpy to talk to me again. I am very unhappy and couldn’t sleep.
This kind of situation happened a few times before. He suggested meet up and then the last minute, he couldn’t commit, always had a lot of work to do etc.
I want to find out what he thinks about me, I am so confused, not sure if we are in a relationship or not, is he treating me just like a friend or what, but I don’t know the right way to ask so that I can get his honest answer, can anyone help me please?
Thanks,
G
Wed Jul 15 2009 - 03:11 pm
Hi,
What is your gut telling you? If it is telling you there is another woman, chances are there is. I have been through similar situations and if you have to dance through hoops to be with a man and he is not even willing to step into one, he is not worth your time. I know, been there, done that! If there is another woman, it sounds like he is not man enough to tell you and is treating you like this so you back off from him and he doesn't have to be the one to do it. Men are so frustrating and I hate that they think that they can toil with our emotions so much. URGH! Also, good luck getting an HONEST answer, in my experience men aren't too good at that! My advice would be to let him do the chasing and you go out and enjoy your life because why would he be worried about losing you if you are sittig around waiting for him to call and fit you into his busy schedule. He would be lucky to spend time with you and if he can't see that, then goodbye Charlie! And when he does call maybe you could TRY and fit him into YOUR busy schedule. The man that will be worth your time is the one that will do everything to be with you and not make excuses why he can't make your date. You have to love yourself first and don't sell yourself short, don't allow your insecurities to make you settle for less than you deserve!
Blessings, Apple
Wed Jul 15 2009 - 08:42 pm
Thanks Apple! I think you are right.
It's just that I had spent so much time and effort into it and wasn't willing to give up. I was thinking if we both insist on not being the first one to call, then we would both lose out when in fact we might be the great couple. I was a bit depress because of him.
But I have made up my mind today after seeing my therapist, I will live my own life from now on. He will just be my history. I will write him a breakup letter tonight and end everything.
Thanks again Apple for your reply!
Thu Jul 16 2009 - 12:30 am
Hello again, I know exactly how you feel about putting time and effort into a relationship because I do not give up easy either but you have to stop and ask yourself how much time and effort HE put into your relationship because it takes two people putting in great effort to make a lasting relationship. I know that it is hard but I really admire your strength and I believe that you will do what is best for you. I wish you luck and all the best and I hope everything works out well for you!
Blessings, Apple
Sun Sep 20 2009 - 10:14 pm
Kick him to the curb!
Thu Sep 03 2009 - 01:08 pm
Hi G
You are not being negative at all. Trust the gift God has given you which is your "Intuition." First, this gentlemen appears to be hiding something and also seems unconsiderate regarding your personal time. Do not put yourself in a position where you are waiting around for this man to come around and control your life. He has obviously shown you enough clues about the nature of your relationship that is enough to call it quits. Therefore, as hard as it can be ... you need to end this immediately. Do not hang on to the baggage of that relationship. This man will never commit to you, because his actions now are giving you all the clues you need to leave and start fresh with someone who will respect your time and value you as a woman.
Sincerely,
L
Thu Sep 03 2009 - 04:23 pm
Dear G, Sure we arent connecting to the same Guy (lol)SAME SAME story 4 me too! Only this one lives in Germany and i have flew to meet him numerous times.Dont make the same mistakes as i did. The advice you have been given by the ladies on here is sound advice and will save you a lot of heartache (Believe me) if you cut the ties now before you fall hook line and sinker,He sounds like a player, they like to mess with your mind and emotions, HOT N COLD HOT N COLD!dont fall for it! I wish you luck on your quest to find a decent loving man there ARE some out there, Im sure. Regards B-E-F
Sun Sep 06 2009 - 10:12 pm
Thanks for your comments Ladies.
I asked him if he was serious and if not then I should move on. He changed since then, talked to me more often and said we just had to keep trying. He has a busy life but he does attracted by me and want to have me. He then took me to a romantic trip in July and covered all the costs. Decent hotel and everything. To be honest, no one had ever treated me so well before in my life. I am totally into him now. He is still busy, still not able to make much time for me, but I am not being as negative as before and trust him now. I hope this relationship can work out :).
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