How often is normal for seeing each other in long distant relationship
Sat Aug 08 2009 - 03:22 pm
Hi, I've been in a long distant relationship (2hours away) for about 5 months now, it developed into a sexual relationship about a month ago, we see each other most weeks, occasionally it goes 2 weeks because of his work. Is this normal? I'd like to see him more but he does a lot of extra work at weekends which makes it difficult and he seems quite happy going along as we are, although I have suggested meeting up at weekends and he said he would try and get some time off to come and stay with me. I have stayed at his place overnight so I do know for sure he is single and there's no other woman. Am I trying to push it too fast, I don't want to scare him off, we're both in our forties and he's neither of us have ever been married. Also I met him on line, whilst I came off ages ago I know he's still got his profile on line and goes on line most days, however he's also on there a long time and every evening that he's not with me so I know he's not out dating, I think he's possibly just bored and it's become a habit or am I being naive?
Would appreciate any advice. Thanks.
Sat Aug 08 2009 - 09:24 pm
#2
the weekend thing is what gets me, because isn't that the time of week you would get together? Unless he works weekends??? If he is still that active online, hmmmm maybe you should be too!OK I just re-read and you said he works weekends. What kind of job does he have?
Tue Aug 11 2009 - 06:38 am
#3
Hi
I understand what you're saying. I've been seeing a lovely man for just over a year now who lives an hour away. we are in our forties and see each other most weekends (for one evening overnight), unless I go away to see friends. he is always available as doesnt seem to have much of a social life.
i have 2 teenage children who like him alot. they are with me all the time unless they have a sleep over as their dad has moved abroad. he has a 17 year old son who lives with him and we both work full time during the week.
i do want things to move on and am getting frustrated. i was hoping that when his son finished college in july that they would move down to my town. however his son, who doesnt talk to me usually, was quite happy to tell me that he had enrolled for another 2 years. i read that as 'ha ha we are stuck up here, so there.' i understand he wants to be loyal and local to his mum. she lives with her parents.
my boyfriend texts me every day and sometimes we talk on the phone if we have a lot to say or need instant help or advice. we do love each other and he is a lovely gentle calm man. but we dont get very much time together as when we get together we spend a few hours together before bed then a couple of hours in the morning before we have to go home. we have had the odd day off together. money is also an issue as he does not have spare money to go away or do an awful lot. even if he did he would not want to leave his son for too long.
i know these issues can be solved but i dont want to nag and moan and wish that he would instigate things and make suggestions instead of me all the time.
at my low moments i do wonder whether it is all worth it and if its gonna work. i do love him though.
I'm gonna have to talk to him soon about this, but understand that it should not be an untimatum. none of this would be problem if we were in the same town and could see each other more.
just wanted to share my experience and see what you guys think. am i overracting?
how long have you been together?
are you officially a couple because it's not healthy for them to keep their profile up. he may still be dating other people - which is his right but it's your right to do the same and not sleep with him if you want a relationship.
2 hours really isn't much of a distance. my prospect lives across the pond (england). anyways (not wanting to trivialize your distance)
every week or every other week should be fine. if he is busy working then I can understand every other week.