HOW DO YOU KNOW A GUY IS WORTH WAITING FOR
Wed Mar 10 2010 - 07:32 pm
Hey ladies...
Paige just sent out a newsletter about NOT asking for "the talk" with your guy and as I was reading it, she made a statement about how do I know if my guy is worth waiting for...so I decided to pose this question to you all!
Now I know you all will come up with things like...
1. how does he treat you
2. how long have you been together
3. are you exclusive
etc.etc.etc.
But I want to know when things are just not black and white or its not good nor bad...do you stay and wait things out or leave b/c its not "perfect"?
I know everyone is different and people have different deal breakers but there has to be a "norm" that tells a person he is just not worth waiting for (not crazy stuff, like he hasn't had a job in 2 years, or he is on drugs,alcohol,or beats you, or cusses you out, etc...not stuff like that)
Wed Mar 10 2010 - 08:01 pm
Hi itspossible, interesting post, I just had discussion with group of friends in regards to relationships like Tiger Woods and Victoria Beckam cases, we have here in Australia a case where a model's mobile nude photo leaked and is all over the media-previous boyfriend released it- now her current fiancée left her b/c of that ( 2 years relationship with intention to get married soon! google Lara Bingle)! I can’t get over it-why men leave when it gets hot and hard and women stay?
Are we more tolerant? Or stronger to get over things like that? I am furious!
Basically I think HOW DO YOU KNOW A GUY IS WORTH WAITING FOR-you don’t know-you may be feeling it-you feel love or attachment and you stay..
My girl friend who is in hilarious relationship-her ex husband, note "EX" cheated on her with her best girl friend who was also their house mate, then he left her then he divorced her and he still calls her and they are still together!! She can’t say no!! She cant leave him!! And he is not worth but for her maybe he is??!!
Wed Mar 10 2010 - 08:38 pm
The "norm" of when he's not worth waiting for should be when your most important needs are not being met by that particular man.
Wed Mar 10 2010 - 08:41 pm
How true Misty, too bad it's so easily overlooked.
Wed Mar 10 2010 - 10:55 pm
Provided he hasn't got the main deal breakers
If I am always pleased to see him or get his phone call - if I smile just at thought of him - then am putty in his hands, if that goes I start to question the relationship
Thu Mar 11 2010 - 08:47 am
Can you tell us more why you are asking this? Are you waiting for someone? And what are you defining as waiting? What are you waiting for?
Thu Mar 11 2010 - 12:01 pm
I ask a couple simple questions.
Is my life better now with him in it than it was before he I knew him?
Am I happy in this relationship? (Am I happy to see him, or do I have a sense of dread...)
Are we able to work through differences in a constructive manner?
Are most of my needs being met and is he respectful and caring toward me re. his actions?
If the answer is yes I think he is worth waiting for. But I am older, have children, have already been married and I don't have a ticking clock. It is much easier for me than it is for the younger women. Ticking clocks can predict relationship explosions.
SZ
Thu Mar 11 2010 - 01:47 pm
Tell him.
tell him that you will wait for him.... see what he does.
if he says fine, or something similar.... you know he is not worth it.
if he says something along the lines of
" i dont want you to wait for me. i want you to be happy. i have feelings for you, and who knows where that could lead, but right now i am xyz not able to commit insert your reason here...."
you know that he has your feelings at heart.
better still, say to him something along the lines of:
" i understand that you have (xyz insert appropriate here) going on right now, and that you may be confused about what you want. i think right now you need to do whatever it is you need, to be able to make a clear decision about everything. i feel that things could be good between us if we gave things a try, and i would be disappointed if we never got that chance. but i also know that i wouldnt want you to try with me, unless you were 100% certain about it. I want to give you time and wait for you... is it okay with you that i do?"
just my two pennies worth!
Thu Mar 11 2010 - 01:54 pm
Sz....your statement
"If the answer is yes I think he is worth waiting for. But I am older, have children, have already been married and I don't have a ticking clock. It is much easier for me than it is for the younger women. Ticking clocks can predict relationship explosions."
is so correct...I have a gf that is dating a guy and they have both been married, have their own children, built new houses with ex spouses and feel no need to rush anything...just enjoy each other...so the added pressure is just not there!!
I think if you have never been married, you can want it so badly that that ticking clock can explode in your face due to pressuring the poor guy
Inspiration Story:
Connect w/ Paige
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