How to attract men
Tue Dec 15 2009 - 03:35 pm
I'm having trouble attracting men. I'm 21 years old, but I look 16. Guys never approach me let alone men my age. I keep myself put together really well, I dress nice and I don't wear too much make up, but I'm really shy. Once in a blue moon I get up the confidence to ask a guy out and I get turned down all the time because I wait too long to make my move. I'm worried that if I just sit back and wait for someone to find me I will be alone forever. Do you think that it is possible that I'm just meant to be alone? Why don't guys approach me at all? Please help.
Tue Dec 15 2009 - 04:07 pm
I am amazed you are not being hit on by 50 year olds.
Honey, you don't provide a lot of details but my best guess is that you are giving closed off "stay away" signals with your body language. Over 90 % of all communication is non verbal. If your body language is saying "timid" or "scared" rather than friendly and approachable, no one will come over to you except the jerks.
Watch your posture. Slouching with head down says "go away". Do you smile? Make eye contact? Friendly conversation?
If you just ask some guy out like a shot from the blue, he will have no idea what that is about and decline. If you already set a precedent that you are friendly and approachable, you will probably get asked out.
Talk to a trusted girl friend or family member and see what kind of impression you make when you go out or meet someone for the first time. Get them to be honest and not worry about hurting your feelings.
There is no good reason why you shouldn't have hot and cold running men asking you out.
Tue Dec 15 2009 - 04:16 pm
When I was your age, I used to look a lot younger too and I am sure it put some men off.
I agree with Theta, ask a friend to give you a harsh critique to see if there are things you can do or say differently.
I learned from my friends that I am a bit "one of the lads"-ish which is a self-protective mechanism I have developed over the years. I now work at letting my feminine side show more and I think it is working!
Your quirk may be something totally different, of course, trouble is, finding out what it is, as we can be totally blind to it ourselves.
Good luck and keep us posted!
Wed Dec 16 2009 - 09:23 am
Finehunter,
I don't know you but your wrods struck me. You are only 21 and you seem to have a huge fear of being alone forever. it seems to me that you believe that you're "meant to be alone". If you do, than you are unconsciously sending the message that you want to be alone. Work on your self esteem, convince yourself that you are attractive to men, and they'll ask you out. You'll find the one, but you have to be confident that you will.
Fri Dec 18 2009 - 04:06 pm
If I were you at 21, I wouldn't worry about a thing, but having fun, traveling, working, shopping and hanging out w/my friends. My daughter is 21 and she's always hanging out w/her girlfriends and having fun. She's also in college so she meets alot of people there, including guy friends plus she works, so her mind is always busy. I tell her there's is no rush in life. To enjoy herself!I instill in her to be independent, to love herself & be happy w/her life. When the right guy comes along, she'll know.
You are attracting what you are believing and you need to have confidence in yourself. When you meet someone, you want to look classy and confidence, not desperate. When you are out, relax your mind and walk & think positive, you are beautiful, smart... little things like this will make you approachable and you would not have to ask anyone out, they will notice you.
No need to sit back and wait for someone to come along, go out and explore w/o actually searching and it will find you when you least expect it. If you have true friends, have them over your house and have a good time & interact w/your mom, etc. I know I love having my daughters and all her girlfriends over. They usually try on clothes and ask me for my opinion and I do their hair, etc. and we talk about guys... or guys they have dated and so on. I usually just tell them don't rush through life, enjoy & smell the roses. One day you will be full of responsibilities that you're gonna wanna be young again.
Fri Dec 18 2009 - 04:09 pm
21 is a great age isn't it?
Fri Dec 18 2009 - 04:18 pm
Finehunter, I feel ya, I am in the same boat, I am 40 though. right now is a tough time for me, but I am working internally on myself, improving my confidence, charm, wit, working on being social to everyone around me. I was always closed off and to myself, no wonder I never met anyone... Work on saying Hi and smile to three people aday, it will them come natural to you. Take time to learn who you are, have fun, and be more outgoing and life will come to you in abundance.... Guys are attracted to life, fun, happy, confident, calm, witty woman. they will come in droves once we master that.
Fri Dec 18 2009 - 04:59 pm
40 is a great age isn't it?
Fri Dec 18 2009 - 07:02 pm
48 ain't so bad either, lol!
Fri Dec 18 2009 - 11:13 pm
48, 49, 50...
I just saw Meryl Streep's picture on a magazine cover. She is 60 and still getting leading roles. She looks great.
Inspiration Story:
Connect w/ Paige
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