hopeful but confused
Sat Aug 15 2009 - 01:49 pm
I have recently re-connected with someone who now lives in California and I live in Pennsylvania. We have both visited each other and had a great time. We have so much in common and are so comfortable with each other. While I was visiting him he brought up commitment and being exclusive which completely caught me off guard. which he is not ready for. We have only been talking for about 3mos. and seen each other twice, it makes sense. I have not been pushing him for this or talking about moving in with him. He completely freaked out and I don't know why. I want to take it slow, do it right, get to know him and hope we can last. Since I wasn't expecting it I was rather upset and did not handle the situation as I would normally and didn't say what I really wanted to say which is that I did not expect anything from the weekend other than getting to know him better and move forward and hopefully plan to see each other again. I don't know if he never wants to see me again. I worry that I have ruined everything and it is now consuming me. I don't want to bring it up but I want to explain that I didn't mean to react the way that I did. we haven't talked much this week since I have been back home. I don't want it to be over. How do I fix this or can't I? I don't want to make it worse. I am trying to give him space but this is not fair to me either. I would appreciate any advice. I really think we can be good together.
Sun Aug 23 2009 - 12:46 pm
#2
Thank you for your reply. Since I wrote on here he had emailed me to say that he was struggling with commitment and not ready for something serious which is fine b/c it is way too early for all that and we are 3000 miles away from each other. I am not sure why he felt it needed to be said as I thought we were going slow. I replied to his email and explained my reaction when he had first brought it up and that I was not expecting anything serious just to keep getting to know him and see what happens. I am however unsure where this all leaves things. I wish he had the courage to call me to tell me and not email me. He said we would talk soon. Haven't heard from him in a week although he has had a friend from my town visiting all this week. I am trying to move on in the mean time. Not counting on anything good if he does call or email. He probably would have said something by now. I wish I knew how guys could forget us so easily.
Mon Aug 24 2009 - 01:26 am
#3
im sorry girl i know how it feels...its like they are equipped with on/ off buttons...women are so much more different...
ive had guys break up with me via sms or email its simply coz i think they cant face the person to break news as bad as a break up
in ur case i dont think he is breaking up or anything probably he jus needs some time....so let him figure it out....i know its hard, the concept of WAITING...but what else can ya do rite...
so i wish u all the best...i hope things work out for the better if not i do hope u meet someone else worthy of u :)
how abt explaining to him all wat u jus said abt the getting to know each other giving urselves more time for the relationship to mature and that u do think of him as importnat and explain why u reacted the way u did...