Wow. I feel for ya Trace. I hope you have the patience of a saint because you will need it.

He can't be rushed. He has his attention on work and there is very little you can do about that except just be supportive and not push him.

You are not exclusive yet are you?

Just carry on with your life and expect that the early getting to know you stage will last longer than usual. That is not a bad thing.

It may come down to availability issues--it may not. Just carry on with your fabulous life and don't put all your eggs in this basket.

Keep us posted. We're pullin' for ya--We're all in this together.

Hi, Trace.

Have you tried talking with him and asking if he feels he can really handle both right now?

If there's any way he's doubtful just a little, he will jump at the chance to tell you, since it's probably been on his mind.

If he looks at you with surprise or expresses no doubts to you at that time then he probably is just insanely busy. Then it's up to you whether you can really be OK being second fiddle for what could be a long period of time.

I agree with thetababe, carry on with your fabulous life and keep the door open for him to stay with you or return when things get more normal. The open door policy is great because it gives entrance to the people who want to be in your life without requiring you to put your life on hold waiting around for people who may never arrive.

trace, it seems like a clear 'catch 22' situation where both are significant firstly not loosing him completely and him taking off well in his career. maybe middle grounds is the answer to this carry on seeing him in the hope that things are bound to improve between u both after a while. keep busy as much as u can. but do have a time limit so after certain period if the same sitution persists than he maybe brilliant in other areas of life but is he good enough for you. dont let this drag for too long like months of it. perhaps talk to him but at a later date...GOOD LUCK.

And do date others if you do not have an agreement to be exclusive. I understand that you like him but you should be keeping your own options open.

Thanks everyone. I was beginning to think I wouldn't get a reply from this post!

Yes Marmoty, I did ask him in a light hearted fashion whether he felt he had enough time for a relationship. His reply was in a similarly light hearted manner. He replied "Probably not". I didn't reply to that and he didn't elaborate either. I am adopting a wait and see attitude.

Yes, I'm continuing to date others (although I have to say, the other couple of men I'm seeing do not hold a patch on this man).

Naturally there's always the possibility that by having any sort of talk with a man, one can possibly push the guy away (and goodness knows, I certainly have no desire to have that happen - this man is really special!), but on the other hand, it wouldn't feel right to me just to ignore ths situation and just keep pushing something to the sidelines. It's just a question of how I go about it that's all.

Hoping some of you Goddesses can offer some super duper tips!

My tip isn't super duper, but here it is:

You light-heartedly asked him a question that is actually very important to you and your relationship. And so his answer "Probably not" has been backed up by his never having quality time to spend with you.

While I agree it's good not to push the whole "Where are we going?" question, I think this is different. Asking someone who has intimated they probably don't have the wherewithal to date you, and who has exhibited behavior that backs that up, is a whole different ball of wax.

You have every right to have a deeper conversation on the matter. And I know you don't want to let him go, but you have to be prepared for that possibility. Wanting something to work isn't enough. Loving someone and having a special connection with them isn't even enough. You also both need to have the physical and emotional ABILITY to be in a relationship for it to work.

If he can't do that, your choices are limited. You can stay and accept this or you can leave. Ask yourself which is better/worse. And have a serious but open and kind conversation with him that is more than lighthearted. You deserve to make yourself heard if it really bothers you that much.

If you do have that conversation, be prepared that he may tell you something you do not want to hear, then act accordingly, Goddess like.

But at least then you will get to the truth and know where you stand.

Thanks, that was my thinking as well. If you read on another post, I sent him an e mail the other day commenting on the lack of contact lately, letting him know (in a nice, tactful way) I wasn't used to such minimal contact from someone I was attracted to and letting him know just in case he's got a lot on at the moment, I'd give him some space to handle whatever it was. I let him know I enjoyed being with him, and hoped to hear from him.

I saw this an opportunity to talk with him about him not having time for a relationship.

I haven't heard anything yet.

But you're so right Marmoty, I need to be heard on this. It doesn't work for me just to ignore it.

Just an update here, we did get to speak, and he was very nice about it. Also honest (which I respect him for). He agreed he had too much on in his career at the present time for him to committ to a relationship with anyone. He's asked if we could be friends instead, and I'm just having a wee think about that. (I think that might work) Whilst, I feel a bit sad this one isn't going to fly - gosh he's so lovely! But at the same time, if he's really not able to committ, then at least I haven't spent too much time and risked falling in love with someone who can't give me the attention I feel I require. I'm looking at it positively anyway as I might get a good friend out of it!

That's true. The timing is bad for him now and he is honest about that. Later, who knows, but it is best that you start looking elsewhere. On to the next!