HAVE NEVER MET, BUT WANTS TO MEET ME ON MY VACATION!

Hello there! I am just ending a 1.5 yr relationship with a guy I met on line.We emailed alot at first and because its long distance (2.5 hr) it has taken awhile for me to really get to know who he is and I just dont think he is who I thought he was. Its very hard to know when to meet someone after meeting on-line. Constantly tossing this question around!

Its - I have followed your posts on here quite a bit. I have a friend who you remind me a lot of. She is not wrong in the way she thinks (and neither are you), but some people just think differently and need different things in a relationship. She starts freaking out if a guy she is dating doesn't call or text her daily either. I have been in several long distance relationship and they work well for me. I don't need to hear from someone every day.

You might need to really evaluate what works for you and what doesn't. If you need a man to have contact with you everyday - that's what you need. But you cannot get it from him if you don't tell him that. It doesn't have to be pushy or needy. Just a simple, "hey, it would really mean a lot to me if I heard your voice every night before we retired, even if it is just a quick "goodnight, sleep well." If you have not told him this is important to you, you can not complain that he doesn't give it to you. If you have told him and he thinks you are being unreasonable, or just something he is not willing to do -- then you need to consider that he may not be the man for you. If a man wants to make a relationship work, especially a long distance relationship, it is not to much to ask for one quick phone call a day. If he can't give you that, then he may not be in the same place as you are.

Just a thought :)

Its

I know you've asked me not to comment on your posts, but I have thought of something that you might be useful for you to think about.

Have you sat and thought about *why* you need for him to call you everyday? What I mean is, obviously if, for example, you're planning something important, or if you're going through a difficult and need to really talk to him, then of course you need to communicate every day and by phone.

However, for those 'in-between' times when it's more about the 'just wanna let you know I'm here and thinking of you' type-communications, I think that brief communications via texts might be better for you/the relationship. I am saying this based on a personal experience as follows:

Years ago, when I first met my ex-husband, we lived apart (in different countries) for a year, meeting up briefly for a month in the middle of that period. At the beginning we called each other every day. This was all very well and nice when either or both of use were feeling lonely and needed to properly talk, or conversely, when we'd been doing lots of stuff we wanted to tell each other about, and of course, when we needed to discuss our 'meet-up'.

However, on the sort of 'non-descript' days - you know, those days where you're not feeling down enough to need a hug and a heart-to-heart talk but not feeling elated enough to be positive, when you've just been doing the usual run-of-the-mill stuff and have nothing specific to talk about), we found ourselves trying to carry out really 'forced' conversations. After such conversations I'd come off the phone feeling really deflated, sometimes almost upset, and would tie myself up in knots wondering whether there was something wrong with 'us' or whatever - when, really and truly, there was NOTHING wrong, we just had nothing specific to talk about! Had we been together in person I would of course have realised this; we would have simply sat in an amicable, relaxed silence without the need to talk :-) But this is impossible to convey over the phone.

I can understand your need to communicate with your guy, but based on the above experience, I really think that, actually, phone conversations with some texts in between are not a bad thing. Back then I didn't have a cell phone (I'm not sure 'texting' had even been invented lol!), but with hindesight, I think it may have been a much better form of 'in-between' communication than forced phone calls. A text saying 'love ya night night speak t2moro' would have left me feeling more comforted than a 'forced' conversation.

Just a thought. x