The guy who tells you the first night he really likes you, but then does not follow through
Thu Nov 19 2009 - 01:29 am
I met this guy a month ago and we had instant attraction.We met at a rock concert. He came onto my like gang busters - He told me that I very pretty and after we talked for a while he asked me if he could kiss me. We held hands all night, watched the rock concert together. We went out afterwards and danced all night. He wanted me to go home with him, but I did not. He called me a few days later and asked me on a date.
We went out on the date and had fun again, and this time learned more about each other. At the end of the date, he wanted to go home with me again but I would not let him.
I did not hear from him after our second date, and I was sad about it, even though it was only my second time seeing him. What happended I thought? Maybe he just lost interest and I brushed it off.
I ran into him again at a friends' party after I did not hear from him. I just nicely said hello, but did not make the effort to go up to him. I left early and he called me that night wondering where I was at the party. We went out again that night. and met for a drink. We had a blast, and the chemistry and fun was still very there. He wanted to go home with me again, and i told him that was not possible yet.
He did not call me after that night. Did he change his mind, or is he just out for non committal fun?
Thu Nov 19 2009 - 07:21 am
Hi glucklich
Sadly it does sound as if he's just after non-commital fun - that is, at least at the moment. He acts positive when you're around for sure, however he isn't making much effort to arrange dates with you, which is usually an indication that he isn't overly keen. Personally I would see the fact that he's tried to persuade you to 'come home with him' on every date as a possible red flag.
For what it's worth, you are handling the situation EXACTLY right - i.e. being pleasant towards him and enjoying dates but allowing him to do the pursuing. And above all, good for you for sticking to your guns and refusing to 'go home with him' before you were ready. In the long run (assuming you do hear from him again), he will RESPECT you for this.
I am not sure how much time has elapsed since your last date? You may hear from him again, in which case there is nothing wrong with going on more dates - IF it happens to suit you. It may be that he's simply taking a while to 'make his mind up' about you. I think the key thing here is not to write him off completely - BUT - unless/until he starts putting some effort in, date other guys and try and think of him as just someone you had a few nice dates with. Try not to place to much dependence on a possible relationship with him.
Thu Nov 19 2009 - 01:06 pm
Gluck...this guy is ONLY LOOKING FOR SEX!!!! PERIOD! If everytime you all are together he wants to go to someones house and he never initates just a date to get to know you...LEAVE HIM ALONE...or you will end up being a friends with benefits partner! Unless you are into that...then let him go!
Wed Dec 02 2009 - 01:44 pm
Wow! Three times and he still didn't get the message. Stick to your guns and don't betray yourself if you want something serious but it doesn't look like he wants the same thing. I know it's tough but I would move on.
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