Some people especially guys don't like the phone. Some guys can text endlessly for weeks

I prefer email as a method of communication. Texting is ok. Getting random calls isn't always convenient.

I wouldn't read anything into it just yet. However if all he does is text and never asks you out, then tell him to poop or get off the pot

Thanks Babe. Fortunately, he is eager to meet up with me.
Even asked what day would be good. Until I got this bad cold, we had to put the meeting on hold. It would be a bad first impression to meet with a runny nose and red eyes. LOL!

You are on track then. Feel better and enjoy!

Thanks Babe. What has been going on in your dating life? Anything new and exciting lately?

Oh man. If I didn't live vicariously through all you Goddesses here, I wouldn't have a life at all.

Just kidding. I am really only starting to get out there. I have enormous amounts of attention on my financial life and creating my acting career. Dating is next on the list. But it is on my To Do list before my 50th BDay in March. Not necessarily to find The One, but to jump in the pool and at least kiss some more frogs.

I do get out to karaoke on Saturday. and to as many theatre and film functions as possible. My first goal is just to build a circle of friends I can do stuff with.

Hi Babe,

I can relate with the kissing of frogs. LOL! That's great you're starting to work on the acting career and you are begining to get a social life. I would be too scared to karaoke because there wouldn't be anyone I know around. lol! I registered with the website called meetup.com. It's an interesting website. The funny thing is all these exes are calling me out of the blue. There must be something in the water.

Hi Babe,

He called me last night but didn't hear the phone. So, I called him back and he said "I'm listening on a conference call. Can I call you back? If not tonight, I will text you tomorrow." I haven't received a text from him and find it difficult dealing with a person of this nature. I'm wondering is the reason his marriage failed because he may be a workaholic. What are your views?

Marriages can fail for hundreds of reasons. The fact he called is a good sign rather than a random text. If he said he will text, hang in there. I know this is where it gets frustrating. I hate when people say they will call (or text) back and then don't. I hate when people don't return calls. i always do. Well usually, unless I am screening for a reason.

Anyway, this is all part of the dance.

Hey Babe,

Update, He called last night. Again the conversation was short and to the point. I told him about studying for my final exam today and will be free to breath again by Sunday. Guess what....he told me well, I wanted to touch base with you. See how you were feeling. Then he says...I have to work Saturday and attend a family function. He didn't go into what type of family function. LOL! So, he won't be able to call me today but Sunday will give me a ring and wants to set up a date for next week sometime. Don't you think it's suspicious that he can't call me at all on Saturday. Sure people have to work and go to family function but one can step aside to call someone and talk for a good half an hour rather than ten to fifteen minutes. Don't you think?

For instance, this other prospective date is a busy man. He purchased a house and doing construction on it as well as work a full-time job. But guess what? He makes a point of calling me in his busy day. We spoke tonight and he continued talking to me on his way to home depot and as he drove back home. More so, he continued the conversation on ward delaying his work on the house. See this shows me a man who is truly interested and single. I don't know about that other guy. Tell me your views?

This is one of the hazards of our modern communications availability...we have come to expect that someone can (indeed SHOULD) drop whatever they are doing to call US! What nonsense! If he's at a family function THAT's where he should be...enjoying his family, not calling someone. I actually turn my phone off when I'm out with friends and family because I find it soooooooo rude when others excuse themselves to make or take a call. What that tells me is that I'm LESS important, that my time is LESS valuable than whomever is in that little rectangular box.

I say good for him that he is actually present with his family when he's with them. So NO I don't think he should have stepped aside for a "good half an hour" to talk to you if he was at a family function! That actually raises his appeal as it speaks to his character and his ability to be IN the moment, not always looking for something "better."

Enjoy it, worry when he doesnt text you

Hi K203,

Maybe you misunderstood what I said or I didn't type what I'm trying to convey about this guy. He has opportunity to call me at the time he wakes up and eat breakfast, or while he's on his way to this so called family function. UNDER those circumstances he could call me (is what I mean). NO! I don't think he should call me while mingling with his family. BUT, at every function weither family or business, one always find a moment their not around people chatting. Maybe stepped out to smoke a cigarette or get some air. It's no harm in calling someone at that point. ESPECIALLY! If he knows, there has been little conversation to become acquainted enough to meet.

If a man is into a woman, a man will make a point of calling as before he gets dressed to go out or after he has left a function. That's what I'm trying to say their is no reason for him not to call at all yesterday. The family function bulls...t is a mask of deception. I've been around the block enough to know that men who make too many excuses for performing a simple act are hiding something.....LIKE THE FACT OF NOT BEING COMPLETELY SINGLE! LOL! He doesn't even talk to me no more than ten minutes at his leiasure. Just to enlighten you, he hasn't called me as promised today. YEAH! SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE MAN OF CHARACTER RIGHT? LOL! but I could give a rats as... Reason being is the other guy I'm conversing with is showing me that he's truly interested and gives me no reason to be suspicous of his status. Now, that's a REAL TRUE man.

Thanks sweetangel,

He hasn't text or call as promised. The handwriting is on the wall....He's full of you know what. These men of this type try to woo you at first by being polite and intelligent on the phone. All to divert your attention to the things that signal a Red Flag. I'm so glad I did give the other guy a chance to talk. He has been showing greater interest. We have talked enough to the point of setting a date. Now, that's what I call making progress. :-)

Mittens, good to see you dating. I would not stress over the phone call or texting thing. I am certainly not going to step outside while at an event to make a call and don't expect them to either. Most men do not like to talk on the phone. They assume we are going to ask lots of questions, read between the lines and analyze their words which we do. If you have not met him yet, you really can't set such expectations so soon. It's like aleady expecting him to act like a boyfriend when he isn't. Now if somewhere in you gut something does not feel right then by all means be cautious but if it's just his phone habits don't jive with yours, don't stress over it.

Hi Robin,

It's good to get your input. No, I think my writing sucks because everyone seems to think I want him to call me while at his function. The answer is no I'm not expecting him to do so. What I'm saying is he's always making the conversations short without any attempt to finding out weither we have anything in common. Robin, it's like.....how you doin? I will say fine. Then he will say....well I wanted to just touch base with you and have to take a conference all in a few minutes.

Will talk tomorrow. Robin that's the jist of our conversation. It lasts five to fifteen minutes at the most. And, I'm just being generious with the minutes. LOL In reality, I'd have to say five to ten minutes. The last conversation I made an effort to squeese something about me but he didn't even elaborate on himself. LOL! By all means, I'm not even stressing over the phone calls. I'm just taking observation in one what seems off about him. In other words Robin, we're not having enough of a conversation to figure out do we have things in common. And the other issue, he roommates with a female friend. He gives an excuse the reason for not calling one night is there was his roommate was having a jewlery sale and fifty woman were in the house. He wasn't involve with the event but said it was very noisy. Wait a minute....is your bedroom next too the livingroom? LOL! This just doesn't seem logical. I don't know. Maybe I'm being more cautious after that jerk-off played me for a fool. I think about it and said I could have prevented it through not accepting all of his excuses about things.

I think it's always good for a woman to pay attention to the little feelings we get inside when something doesn't seem to be sitting quite right. You're showing yourself to be a smart woman there Mittens, so good stuff!

However, as Robin points out, there might be legit reasons for the lack of substantive phone calls - so it's really too early to make a judgment call at this point in time. Just for now, sit back a bit, let the behaviour play out a bit more and try to adopt a "this'll be interesting, can't wait to see what he does (or doesn't do) now" approach. If the same pattern of behaviour is still happening a bit later down the track, well, you'll have your answer. Plus you won't have invested a whole lot of energy in the outcome.

Great to hear you have some good action happening on the other man. I'd say he's looking better and better!

Hi Trace,

Thanks for the advice. I never looked at the situation from that view. Just sit back and watch it play-out. Ok, I have to retract my statement made earlier. Well, sort of....He just text me. With the same question...How are things? did you finish everything you needed to get done? (meaning my final exams online) I told him yes and that my mom was in the hospital. He text back sorry to hear that....Is there anything I can do? I text back...at this point, when you get a chance, call. It's difficult to text while doing physical work. He text back....Ok. We will speak tomorrow night. Hey Trace, what happened to actually speaking tonight? LOL! I'm going to take your advice and say to myself....lets see what he does next. How is everything with you Trace?

Everything's good for me thanks. Yes, it seems this man's behaviour is not shaping up is it? Never mind, it just means he's managing to disqualify himself from landing the prize (which of course is you) that's all.

I've learnt not to spend too much time working out why a man might be behaving a certain way. At the end of the day, a man will do what he wants to do, and what does it really matter anyway? Besides which, working out what goes on in a man's mind is way too tiring and it can absolutely tie you up in knots if you allow it. Instead, just shrug it off, and think "OK, this one looks like he's not going to get the gold medal"!

Mitten's--maybe he just has crappy communication skills and nothing more sinister than that. I am with the other ladies in that it is too early to really gage his behaviour. Some people don't like to talk on the phone. I don't.

If he is all text and not date, that is another story, but as the previous posts say, take a wait and see attitude.

If your other dude is more pro-active toward you and you like him better, great. Let him woo you, and to Mr. 5-minute-phone-calls--well, you snooze you lose.

That being said, it is true that some men do test your Crap-o-meter, so do listen to your intuition. If something really does seem off, it probably is. However, treat each man as if he were the first and don't judge him till he actually gives you a reason not to trust him

Hi Trace,

You are right trying to figure out their mind would send us to the loony bend. LOL! I've already decided to X this guy from dating potential. lol! If he calls me today, (most likely text) I'm going to say "Thanks for texting. I'm busy with other prospects.". He's not getting anymore air-time from me. LOL!

Hi Babe,

Thanks for the input. I like that term Crap-o-meter. I kinda sense something is off about his personality. When I say something with humor, he barely laughs. Only one time I managed to get a little giggle out of him. I can almost bet that tonight he will text instead of calling (as promised)me. lol! His behavior is providing me entertainment until the other guy calls. Yeah, the other guy wants to meet me and make plans. He even gives details about his life as well as things going on in the day. So, he's looking better by the day.

Sounds like you are simply not compatible. Next

I agree, this first guy isn't really coming through is he? Rather than giving a man the satisfaction of showing I may have been irritated by his lack of follow through, sometimes its good to just to let the distance speak for itself.

If he texts you to ask you how you are, then maybe you might just say "Fine, and you?" And if he does suggest a meet up sometime, then you can just (quite legitimately) tell him you're busy at that time. (No need to mention other prospects - let him work that out!)

On the other hand, if you no longer wish to be bothered by contact from this man, (and I can certainly understand that), then just use your "other prospects" phrase. That should indeed have him scurry away.

I don't know why, but sometimes it just feels good to me to not say a jolly thing to a man who hasnt followed through. (I certainly don't feel I owe him any explanation as after all, he hasn't followed through). It feels like I'm doing the qualifying, and the man is left a bit dazed, thinking "gee, where did I go wrong?"

You've got that right Babe. I don't think he has a real personality. The small times we talk....he converses like it's someone of business. lol! Yeah, he's Neeeext! LOL!

Hi Trace,

You are so right about this nerd. LOL! Last night just proves the degree of interest in me. You know it's great to talk with three guys at the same time. Because, when one fails, there are the other two waiting in the wings. lol! Trace you're right the men who fail to follow through don't deserve explanation nor a pleasant word. I'm taking care of me first. No longer do I wait for the guys. I jump make plans with my girlfriends instead. Keep them at reasonable distance to figure me out. lol!

Hi My Power Girl Pals,

Here's the latest update on Mr. "Text Only" lol! He called me last night while I was on the other line. I said to him "Hi, I'm sorry can I call you right back? I'm on the other line." He says, Oh, that's ok. I'm actually going to be busy later. My Aunt passed away and I'm cordinating the funeral arraingements. Can I call you tomorrow?" I said to him "If I'm available to receive it. I'm very busy." He then says.....Ok. Oh, how is your mother? I said...my mother is doing fine. I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Hope everything works out for you. He says...Thanks, I will call tomorrow. I said "bye" and hanged up. This guy is totally wack and think his story is really being bought by me. Girls, I'm not even giving this guy a thought. Now, he's just entertainment for me. LOL! I now practice What's Next. LOL! On the positive side, The other guy...I'll call him "Mr. Engineer" Our conversation was so enjoyable. We talked about his holiday celebrations growning up as a kid. I learned that most of his family still lives in Cuba. He thinks I'm smart and have great sense of humor. We talked about expectations of a potential partner. He revealed the idea of wanting to be married again but felt shaky about due to his previous divorce. Now, he has been putting that experience behind him. He wants someday to be married. So, we are talking about meeting up after Thanksgiving. Mr. Engineer really seems to be show interest.

I am glad that it is working out with your other guy, but why do you think the first one was lying about his aunt?

I thought the same thing thetababe...why do you think he is lying and you came across as mean and very unconcerned after he told you that his aunt passed...WOW!

Hi Babe,

Because, I felt it coming an excuse as to why he would be talking briefly. That's what's been happening brief and to the point phone calls. No room, to become aquainted enough to determine we can carry a full conversation. Babe, I knew he was going to make some kind of excuse to avoid us having some verbal conversation.

Come-on....its not his mother but an Aunt who's died and he is handling all the funeral arraingements. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry to wrongly accuse him. However, I don't think so. Watch when he contacts me tonight. It will be a text instead of the call or an extremly brief phone call that's to the point. It just doesn't jive true to me.

Hi Itspossible,

You're misunderstanding me. I don't believe an Aunt has passed because it was like clock work that he wasn't going to hold a real conversation with me. Furthermore, he said the Aunt past on Saturday. He text me on Sunday and didn't mention anything about an Aunt passing. Remember, Sunday's text I had told him my mom is in the hospital and requested him to call me that night instead of texting. His reply was.....Ok. I will call you tomorrow. It's just too convienant the excuse of the Aunt Passing. If an Aunt actually passed on Saturday, he would have mentioned it in Sunday's text to me. You see what I mean? It's too convienant and gives a reason for not holding a reasonable amount of talking via phone. I truly believe this guy is probably married or living with a girlfriend. I'm open to any of your further opinions. :-)

Mittens,
Just got here and read your post about "dating" Mr. Engineer guy and how well you got along so far.

With Mr. Text Only, whether his aunt passed or not is not the issue the reality is that you felt that he is conveniently coming up with an excuse.
I would just say to him:
It's quite amazing that my mother is the hospital and your aunt just passed on... when was it?... and you're making the funeral arrangements.

There's no need to keep in touch right now. For me, I have a full plate. Take Care.
-------
For you, it's NEXT.
Auds
xoxox

If your Crap-o-meter is buzzing with this guy, Audrey's response is probably best. You have a new guy you like better anyway.

It is kindest to just cut Mr. Text-dude off completely so he doesn't waste his time when the two of you just aren't compatible

Hi Auds & Babe,

Update with Mr. Text, now that I've ignored his texts, he has started calling me. He called me this morning from his job. SURPRISE TO ME! LOL! I told him Scotty, right now, I'm with my mother at the hospital (the truth). He says...."oh I just wanted to talk with you. I will be leaving work around 1pm and would like to talk with you tonight. What's a good time?" I said to him..."you can give me a call after 8pm." He says..ok, I like how you call me Scotty. SURPRISE! Finally showing a flattering side. However, there's no mentioning of the funeral arraignment situation. Oh well,I will be breaking the news to him tonight.

By the way, my mom is doing much better. She had the stress test done and there was nothing abnormal of the results.

see, the rules work.

Glad to hear it about your Mum

Hi Babe,

Yep, you're right about the rules work. The funny part was just sitting back playing "What's he's going to do next" game. Guess he realize there wasn't going to be any chasing him. LOL!

Who knows, maybe it just takes him a while to rev up his motor. If you like him you can still see him while you are dating the engineer dude. I just think it is hilarious that as soon as you pulled back and decided you don't want him is when he stepped up. LMAO

Babe and other Girl Power Pals,

Update on Mr. Text Only. Girls, he actually called me tonight. DO MY EARS DECEIVE ME! LOL! Ladies, he was determine to pinned down a date to meet tonight. Furthermore, he asked what was I doing on Thanksgiving? I told him..."I'm going to have dinner with my girlfriend's family after visiting my mom. He said "that's great because I wouldn't want you to be alone. You are welcome to join me for dinner at my sister's house. Of course, you couldn't actually let her know that we met on a dating site." I told him...."Its not in my nature to not be truthful about facts. Now, if you feel uneasy about telling someone that we met on a dating site, then, I would suggest you tell your relatives not to ask me that question. Also, you're telling me something about you when asking me to not be truthful about the way we met." Ok Babe, I'm thinking about your suggestion of seeing him while dating Mr. Engineer.

Oh, get this....Mr. Text Only said he likes to meet a person quickly after conversing after a few times on the phone. He feels it wastes time to keep talking on the phone for a long period. He said .."Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy our conversations on the phone. but believe why waste time talking via phone instead meet in person." I said to him "well, this is actually the first call we actually had a more indepth conversation. All other calls were so brief." He tried to manipulate me to think we did talk long on our first conversation. I informed him that wasn't true. I even looked at my watch once our conversation ended. He told He laughed. He asked when could we meet? I said "well, Friday, I'm off it would be good on that day." He said, "oh that wouldn't work because I have my Aunt's funeral to attend." Wow! no grieving time. lol! Then, he ask about us meeting up Saturday, I said "no, it won't due it's the busiest shopping weekend and I have things to do." He said, "ok, what about Sunday?" I said, "it looks good at the moment." He said..."ok, I will call you on Saturday to set up a time and place to meet." I said "ok, we'll talk then."

Ok, Babe and other Girl Power pals, what should I do at this point?

wait and then set the date when he calls.

Yup, it seems when you pulled back a bit he is right in there. Now you know the secret. If you want him to go away, act interested.. lol

No seriously, Darlin' you make it all sound simple but that is the way to go.

So what is happening with Engineer Dude?

Hi Babe and Darlin,

Babe, that is so true....when we act like we're not interested, here they come a runnin'. I'm still talking to Mr. Engineer. We decided after Thanksgiving Day to meet on Friday or Saturday. Poor thing called me while he was staining these oversize doors. I have to say Mr. Engineer calls regardless how busy his day maybe. I wish the secret to men was learned twenty years ago. LOL! Darlin, I'm just going to sit back to see him follow through with actually calling and meeting.

Me and Mr. Engineer didn't speak last night but I don't feel suspicious of him. You know....he doesn't give me a reason to suspect him. I guess it's because there are little excuses from him and he's willing to reveal things experienced in life. Furthermore, he doesn't go into that bull crap like....Oh, you're eyes are so beautiful...or I could see myself falling in love with you down the line bulls...t. Or, this line....I like how you laugh. His personality is so down to earth and real. Mr. Engineer doesn't give me the conning game which most men do. You know what I mean girls?

HI ladies,

I will have a double shot of, "I wish the secret to men was learned twenty years ago" with a chaser of I wish I would have known and understood the secret of me some 20 years ago. Having the lightblub click on and shine so brightly some 20 years later is quite blinding, growing tired here, lol.

I get more hugs, kisses, stares from Mr. Houdini now then I did when we were "hanging" out. Like it better this way to run into him on occasion, takes the worry out of what is going on, I have no expectations for him to call, no promises are broken and I get to live just in the moment we happen to be around each other, very attentive then. Working just fine!

My 15 minutes of fame..

Mittens it sounds like your engineer has learned how to multi-task..lol

EJ--Don't we all. I'll have a double shot of that and a chaser of if I knew then what I know now. He he

You ladies coming to Toronto in March?

Lol Thetababe,

What is happening in Toronto in March?

OMG, EJ, big Goddess convention. See Audreys thread in DWD Friends calling all Goddesses to Toronoto in March 2010. It will be HUGE. Major bash.

Hi Babe,

He sure does. Mr. Engineer sent me a Thanksgiving greeting via text. I called him rather than text back. He was so happy to hear my voice. He said..."Oh, I thought you may have been upset with me for not calling yesterday." I said to him..."No, I'm not upset with you. We talk practically everyday and I realize you have alot to address with owning a new house." He said, oh thanks, I'm glad you're not upset. I am working today and thought about you. We will talk over the weekend about setting up our date. I truly want to meet you." I told him..."I feel the same way." We wished each other a happy holiday. Ok, time for the update....Mr. Text Only started texting again on Thanksgiving. He text....So, are we still on for Sunday to meet? (mind you ladies, he suppose to call Saturday to discuss details.) I text....Call me tomorrow (Friday)to discuss details. Ok ladies, that was a trick request for him. Remember I told you that he claimed an Aunt died and said the funeral is on Friday. Well guess what, he calls me today as requested. At first, I told him to call back because I'm drying my hair. So, he calls back. He asked.."How was your thanksgiving?" I told him it was good hanging out with my friends. I asked him "How was yours?" He said it was very mellow. He was over his mother's house and thought about staying the night. He changed his mind and came back home. I asked him what did he do today. He says...Oh, I have to meet my friends to have lunch, then I am having dinner with a friend tonight. Ok ladies, Is there something wrong with his schedule today? Remember, he told me "Friday, wasn't a good day for him because he has to attend his Aunt funeral." Great Scott! I think I've caught him in a lie. LOL! He didn't even mention about attending his aunts funeral. Ok ladies, do you think I'm wrong in accusing him in lying? So far, Mr. Engineer hasn't told me any stories that don't match previous statements. He's looking better and better. :-)

Babe, I wish it was possible for me to attend the Toronto DWD convention but my money will determine weither the trip is possible. Damn! I would love to see all my Girl Power pals at the convention.

EJ- get with the program. Jeez!
Does theta have to celebrate her birthday without you?
WHY did you not know about Toronto?

That's part of the problem - we don't COMMUNICATE.
JEEZ!

So EeeeJ, are ya coming? are ya coming?
Auds
xoxox

At least I will have Kat with me. And you Auds--You're going to have a birthday in 2010 aren't you?

Hey Auds,

We communicate it's just that maybe we don't pay attention right away. LOL! How are doing tonight?

Babe, I've got the date set with Mr. Text Only tomorrow. Guess what??? Another guy called me up to ask me out on a date. All of a sudden it's raining men! LOL!!! I'm in the driver's seat for a change and loving it. LOL!

Hello My Girl Power Pals,

Latest update with Mr. Text Only. Today we had our lunch date and he was on time. I have to admit girls he's handsome and has a body of a Warrior! Oh My God! Anyway, we had some deep conversation that went in the direction of him describing the distant relationship he has with his brother and nieces/nephews resulting from his brother's wife behavior. He asked about my college studies and talked about his life with the roommate. He asked have I been out with alot of people from the site. I told him of course, won't deny being a popular girl but selective in whom a date is accepted. We discovered that we do share many interests. He had to attend a birthday party but wished he had more time with me. We talked about our families and holiday get-togethers. We went for a short walk outside and we hugged as well as kissed each other on the check. He said "I really enjoyed your company and will text or call you to set up another date. The next time we meet will be at a nice place. Applebee's is fine for a first meeting but the second date will be at a high class place." So, ladies he wants to impress me now.

As for Mr. Engineer, I called him last night but he didn't answer the phone. Instead text me that he's home watching a funny movie with his daughters. He didn't feel like picking up the phone. He said he will call me later but he failed to do so. First strike, for Mr. Engineer. LOL! So, I have a feeling that it's going to be tricky meeting up with Mr. Engineer because he's a father. This is why I'm turn-off quickly from men with children. They have oblications to the kids and that is understandable. As for me, I don't have kids. So ladies.....there's my weekend in a nutshell. Surprising Mr. Text Only was very nice and interesting. However, I'm keeping him at arms length. I want to see will he actually call for a second date. The ball is in his court. The same goes for Mr. Engineer. I called him and he was busy with the daughters. So, he will be left to call me first to follow through on setting up a date. Do you guys think this is a good way of handling both these men?